Christmas to me.

There are few things like this moment, or that moment that has created this one. The warmth of love felt in the gathering of those you share your life with, the connection that happiness creates, the beauty in the smiles and contentment of community for which makes all of us Beings despite our humanity. The removal of form is the essence that glows within us all that does not create, but rather is born of creation and proof of something so much greater than any of us can fathom.

Such is love, such is peace, such is the essence of all things in the condition of that which is its simplest, the simplest form of the formless, the condition of all things removed from their selves.

Such is the gift of Christmas to me, that which is born a Savior is not man at all, or god, or otherworldly, but simply of this world in which Heaven is in our midst and at moments like this we can catch a glimpse of it. The celebration not of the man born, but of the understanding of the birth of formless devotion to Being, a moment of time not of self, but of selflessness. Such is a birth, a melting of self and selflessness in utter perfection, of Divine Being merged with selfless acceptance of the moment. Such is the perfect notion of live lived in that one moment of such a marriage.

A birth, whether of a god or of a man, is such an example of perfect harmony. A mother gives her Self to acceptance of the moment. She does what Nature does prescribe, contracts as Nature does order, and is relieved as is ordained well beyond her authority. She puts her very safety in the hands of Being, and in such trust a Being is born to her, or not, a Being that in its very existence is given to acceptance. That babe will be hungry until fed, chilled until swaddled, cry until comforted and shall be at the disposal of such acceptance. The child is perfect in its need and disposition, and the mother is perfect in her selfless offering to that which has no choice be to be dependent on such selflessness.

And such is the example we celebrate this day. Birth is a gift to man to be better than he is at any given moment. Christmas to me is the celebration not of the birth of a god, but the birth of Being in all of us. When we look past form, the gifts, the man, the faith, the decorations, we can see the formless love that is part of us in the sharing of this moment. We can, once form is removed from the moment, experience that which we can see every moment, the connect in Being between our Selves and the Selves of others. It is the gift that keeps on giving if we just would see it even if for the first time.

So now, I look at the tree and the decorations not as they are, but now see the love that went into making them be. I feel the tie between those of us in this room, the connection of the giver to the receiver, and see that gift is not the wrapped offering we exchange, but of the love that made them be. I can see the joy in the faces of my children and see that the forms are not what has made that joy, but the love that went into such forms. They gifts will fade in time, but the love that made them this moment shall never fade. It is the true meaning of such a holiday, a special day that should be celebrated in such a gift of love daily.

So, share the Holiday, no matter what your reliance on form calls it. Should it be Christmas or any other name, share the truest gift of all with all Beings whether known to you or not, that gift of what your purest essence shall be called: Love. In such a simple state you shall see Heaven in your midst even if for the very first time. It is this simple state the man whose birth we celebrate this day, the message of what should be born in all of us, a message the implores us all to allow love to be born in us, to guide us, to be the gift of each moment that we take as well as give, and the removal of forms that may hinder our ability to see such a thing like Heaven around us.

So this day our family shall celebrate such a birth is such a way, and the peace such a celebration shall extend.

The blood begins to rush

Just an ordinary night, dinner done and the night beginning. The kids are being loud as always, the TV becoming the central part of their attention, yet in the kitchen something else draws my eye, something that has always drawn my attention quickly and absolutely. Such is an image that will stay with me until satisfaction is achieved, until my thoughts are offered a drink from the pool that has captured all of its attention.

Your shirt isn't skin tight, but just tight enough. I can see the outline of your nipples, hard against your bra, and the outline of your tits straining against your shirt. I want to touch them, but I more want you to want me to...to long for my to caress them. I just wish that you could take them out and force my mouth on them, that you would beg me to touch you. I want you to force yourself on me, to take me completely. The feel of your hands forcing me to you, demanding action, taking what you want without question. I can feel the blood begin to rush...

A message for you...

Vee, my love, my soul, the sweat of my brow is given to you and the love in my heart is born to give you all of me. Allow this blog, which is private, to be my written thoughts, the deepest truths, the essence of how I think and feel. They will be angry, loving, deep, shallow, perverted, extreme and conservative, they will be the paradox that is a mind and the truth that may contradict itself more often than a lie would allow. In this I hope to share with you my deepest secrets, my darkest thoughts, and my strongest desires in the hope that you will get to know me completely, whether you like what you learn or not. It is my hope that in knowing me you will become closer to me than you have any human being, and in giving you my entire being you will see my desires, fears, hopes and thoughts in a way that makes us dependent on one another.

I can't promise you that you will always like what you read or how I think, but I can promise you the truth as complete as it can be told. I leave your reaction up to you.

This blog is private, can only be read by you, and I have created it so that you can write in it as well. I want this day to be the beginning of the two of us becoming one, and in walking together in complete knowledge of the other even if that knowledge isn't what we want to see.

I will begin now...

Let go we must.

So, you want to push me over?
Knock the wind out of me?
Bring it on, work the bag,
And see that what you think you know and what is real are vastly different.

You think you own me?
That somehow I owe you the very air I breathe?
I owe you, that is certain,
But the price you request is certainly not the price I can pay.

So, you can take me or you can leave me,
but choose all the same,
And either accept or deny,
For the sun does not change colors at the whims of those who deem it must.

I am me, not you or your vision
You are you, not me or what I think should be,
So either we can let go of things
Things that aren't or or things that are, things that were or things that aren't.

Let go we must.