Sunday, March 28, 2010


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Glimpses of who I AM

I can only know emptiness through the illusion of fullness.  Love through the illusion of fear.  Eternity through the illusion of time.  I know who I AM through the illusion of that which I create myself to be.

Our existence, what we egoically call "our lives", has the purpose of creation.  We create our circumstances, our loves, our hates, our dreams, our goals, our fortunes, our misdeeds, our SUFFERING continuously in this egoic cycle of creation.  Yet in every moment of this existence is the Observer, the Experiencer of this creative cycle which is the Source of who we are living and sharing in the experience itself.  To know this Self is to know your Source, and to know your Source is to know who I AM.  Once you know the I AM, the hold these illusions have over you begins to fade.  You need not believe in anything, you just need be.  You need not have anything, for there is nothing you don't have.  Labels fade.  Judgments end.  Life becomes eternity.

I have seen these times in very short flashes in my life.  These moments are what have gotten me through the the nightmares I have create for myself and others.  These moments are what I strive to know...those glimpses of what I AM are powerful and full of joy.  They are not "bad", they are perfect because they lead me to what I AM.  Such joy is known through the illusion of fear necessary to experience it.  This is what makes both perfect.

Enjoy both not to judge them but allow them to be.  You will find peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Friday, March 19, 2010


You are my OM,
My love, my beautiful sky.
My transcendent light, my harmless flower,
Mine which does not belong to me.

I fall into Your graces,
We are One in Your disguise,
To see such brightness, To feel such warmth
Is to be absorbed into Love's sweet harmony.

Forget what I was, take all that I am,
Be still beside me and share in this Silence,
Feel my love and share me Yours,
As the glue that makes us whole.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Babe in the Womb

I am but a babe in the womb.  I do not know that I am supposed to have more than I have right now.  I do not  know that I am supposed to have more space to move.  I do not know that I should be demanding more than I need from this place where "I am".

I have not yet learned that there is so much more than the creation going on around me.  No one has taught me yet that I should fear what is happening, or what may happen, or what may not happen.  I have not been instructed yet in the fine art of wanting more, of desiring something other than what I have now, or even of looking into the future for a quest I may never see.

At some point my fingers and toes are webbed.  I don't even care, I just accept.  I do not know that they are supposed to be different in order to be "normal".  In fact, I don't even know how to see "normal" beyond what is right now.  My eyes are fused shut.  Yet, I see all that I need to see.  What could possibly be better than what is?

I can hear noises around me.  I react suddenly because they distort the silence of what is around me.  I have learned to love the silence although I did not know that until I first heard the noise.  Some in a much different universe will marvel at my reactions and do what they can to ensure I react over and over again.  I don't complain, I just am.

I don't seek to harvest this space I am in.  I have no need to harm others for my sustenance, it is being provided to me by my Creator.   Wealth is idiocy to me, for what would I do with more than I have now?  I do not destroy this womb in the search of wealth or more.  I need not pollute my body with ways of feeling better than I do now since that would be impossible. 

My time here is short, but I have no concept of time.  I just exist in this moment and accept all that is provided for me.  I have no memories of where I was before I came to this place, and I don't mind that convenience.  Not knowing where I have been nor caring where I am going allows me to enjoy where I am in joy.  I grow, and allow what has Created me to work through me.

I am perfect.  Then one day I am born and meet the world.  I forget my perfection and seek my imperfection.  My parents show me all of their imperfections in order to continue the cycle of being imperfect so that I can exist in this imperfect world.  I resist it all, strive for more and more, and question the very nature of my existence.  I graduate into being "human", suffering mightily in the education and longing for that which I will never get.  Yet, somehow, I believe I am better and smarter than the babe in the womb although I am not sure how.  What now appears to suggest that I know so much more seems to prove that I know so much less.  With each act of war, with each selfish act of acquiring more than I need, with each passing moment in which I count the seconds of my life waiting for the next instead of living for the now I prove how much less I know.

For some, the journey will be and end in such condition.  For others, they will be born anew into the understanding of experience.  They will look at their aging fingers with joy.  They will appreciate their space without attachment.  They will see the billions of points of light coming from within the darkness we call "sky".  They will live simply in order to allow the planet to be without harm.  They are the meek, and they shall inherit the earth.


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Enter the Silence

Friend, whisper to me that which you long to feel,
Allow us to forget what we think and see who we are,
And in the calming of those storms raving our hearts from without,
Let us see the beauty of what is from within.

Do not hesitate, for the time is at hand!
The Lord has come, can you feel Him inside you?
Silence your mind, allow your soul
And the Kingdom of All That Is will be seen.

In my death I have come to be in my Life,
And in my life have come to be in my death,
For only one of the four is real,
And only that which Is can be called "truth".

Behold, the darkness has set upon us,
Yet through the sliver of my eyelids barely parted
A thousand suns have come alive in the midst of night,
Both Being so the other may be known.

I change my mind and I change the world,
Take this hand outstretched in Love and change the world with me,
We close our eyes and see for the very first time,
We enter the Silence in true harmony.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ


I am but a slave to those kisses that will never come,
Wishing me away through some slot in the wall that has been created.
I do so wish for love unabridged by that which was,
For unkempt, free, unchained acts kept holy in the hearts of the players.

Free me! Allow me to be!
For I am but a slave to the freedom that shall never be free,
I seek that in you which is not yours to give
and long for nectar that you do not produce.

I am a fish held fast in a sea free of water,
I flop around as if dancing to the tune of Emptiness.
Pour that which will save me into my lungs,
As I seek to know how I got here in the first place.

Do so be my friend, my partner in this endless noise,
And walk with me into the Stillness,
Allow us to cast out those things that whisper so wrongly in our ears,
And listen to the only thing the speaks the truth of lovers eternal.


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Where the Pitman Rink Use to Be (an ode to friends and memories)

As if I've stumbled onto memory,
I've tripped in distant past,
A moonlight park, a player's bench,
An eternal moment cast.
To leave that place I've never left,
A soul in disarray,
An old man stares at that moonlit ground,
Still to feel his youth's dismay.
To know such place as hallowed truth,
Is to know much mental fear,
And to know such ecstasy as was on this ground,
Is to know that he was here.
I shall not forget the sweat and tears,
I used to set me free,
And time can't change what Love had made,
Where the Pitman Rink Used to Be.

  The old place is gone forever. Torn down as time wore it's warped boards and chipped is rugged asphalt. Yet to me this place shall always exist. It may be important to share such fond memories with those who were so integral in making them. We are not guaranteed any moment past this one, so to share it is a priceless gift.
It surely is an anonymous place to most, and there must be a million such places effecting a million such people as me. Yet I can still remember meeting Timmy Broger down there, and the many different characters who used to play hockey "just for fun" on the weekends and after work. I can remember having to sweep the broken bottles off the place before we played, or in having to shovel the surface before a league game. But mostly I can remember the laughter of friends and the bonds that were forged there. I can remember Derek and John in all of their youth and the teams that we made not just to win, but to just have so much fun that we would never forget those moments. God I owe Derek and John so much for taking the time to build those teams and the memories that will forever walk with me.
Of course we didn't always use the rink for hockey. I can remember moments burned into my mind forever in the joy that only friends could share. It is remarkable what perspective one can gain with experience, but to relive those moments in my mind is as almost to shout "slow down Tom, enjoy this moment for all of its worth!" In my old man's eye I look through my youth at such special memories.

To you, my friends, who made one place a bastion for such remarkable memories I can only offer my love in return. There are other places like this with other friends; places where we go by now only in passing but hold such valuable memories. For me such places exist like the Woodbury Height's McDonalds where I have some awesome memories. Skater's Choice…The Oak Tree…Ewan Lake…the lake at Marshall's where I not only skated by where Vince saved my life…the Spectrum where I not only saw my first hockey game but saw my first concert and, yes, Van Halen at least six times…the Pitman apartment…Evesham Skating Center…Down on Mainstreet…Spuds and Suds…Veteran's Stadium where Nana took me to my first two Phillies games with her old lady's group…to the late Frank Centrione who gave me two summers of awesome memories with Sam Casella…to St. Joseph's Elementary…to the Joe Louis Arena where I saw my first Flyer's game out of Philly and to the 50% of their fans who wore Eric Lindros sweaters…to Aunt Kathy's house that showed me there was hope and love when I thought neither existed…to Underwood Hospital for not only stitching me up more times than I can count but for also helping bring three of the most beautiful gifts into the world…to the football field at Lamb's Road Church and the Sunday Slaughter that was only bested by the Friday and Saturday night get togethers…
To those friends who made this life so special, I send you love for the great times I can look back on (pardon for the maiden names). To John and Derek who tolerated me in my presence as well as in my long-term absences and who could see right through me…to Cliff Henderson who not only schooled me about Hall and Oates but who also had the best video store in town… to Mike Parker who helped me up after a beat down in Salem…to Frank Durso who was always there with a ride and a wit and who always was looked for a remedy for being thin (silly as that sounds) as well as for a way for a Chevy to beat a Mustang…to Terry Fisher for trying to understand a mind gone haywire and for forgiving (usually) I am not sure I can ever repay you…to Jeanine Bilderback for being a great friend in a time when I felt so alone in the world…to Kristy Pace who not only exposed me to a new way of thinking but challenged me to think (as well as for getting me to the Joe)…to Robbie Hopkins for being so nice and sweet and giving and to exposing me to her friends who were just like her…to Aunt Kathy who I love with all of my heart who knows…to Chuck Coverly who was my first best friend and will be always there…to Vince Coates who saved my life in so many ways and provided me an escape from hell every once in a while…to Debbie Kidd who gave me a place of refuge on so many levels so many times… to Sister Assumpta who I still cherish in my heart … to Dave and Kristin Fritz who are just too awesome for Steve Bobo and the officers of 6-6 who make that place such a joy to volunteer for...
To my father who I lost as a young boy and have found again as a man…to my mother and stepfather who raised me and provided me experiences that would allow me perspective Now…to my sister who shared with me some hell and I hope will share with me some heaven…to my in-laws who are my parents in heart and mind and who have showed me so many things in such a short period of time…to my niece and nephews who have so much to offer the world the future looks that much brighter…
To my children who found me lost and gave me some light to head to and to my wife Veronica who has softened me with the tough love I needed and gave me a mirror to which I could see myself; she has seen the worst of me and the best of me and still has decided I am worth the effort…
I love you all.
I may add to this list from time to time as memory allows. I send this out in the hopes that we all can share in a special memory and/or a special place in our hearts. If the smiles and warmth I have felt in my heart from the gift of memory you have provided me in this moment can be shared then what a special gift it is indeed.
As for now I leave with some lyrics from a Pearl Jam song called "Just Breathe":
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh

Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..
Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You're all I see.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Her in all My Glory

I have heard the sweet whispers mellow in my ear.  She calms me, softens me, smooths me out for the time Being.  I can feel Her presence surround me, catering to my whims and desires while allowing in me that higher vision of my Self.  I can nearly touch Her as I reach for Her but there is no form for me to grasp.  I let go and let God, and She softly caresses my soul and surrounds me with light.

I beg of Her to reveal Herself to me and instantly I know Her reply.  She already has; She has never hidden from me.  She was there the moment I was born and in the moments before I ate of the apple; nurturing, caring, providing for all I need.  I have put veils between us, cautiously constructing walls to climb and layers to peel.  I have hidden Her from view with the tears of attachment and the betrayal of that attachment from what is.  I have carefully constructed flags and idols to hide Her from view.  I have heard Her speak and dismissed it as the wind; I have heard Her sing and dismissed it as my imagination.  Yet still She remained with me through the blurred vision of eyes gone to suffering, wiping away the blindness from my eyes.  She was there to wipe the dust from my face as I ran from what I was toward what I wanted to be.  She was there to comfort as my dreams stole attention away from Her and there when the dreams became nightmares in their failure.  Through the mud, snow and sunshine we have walked together, a journey that was to take me to what is and what I am.  Never judging me She was just there, comforting, singing, whispering in the hopes that I would see and hear while never wishing me ill in my failure.

Now I sit in stillness, Her glow tempting me for the attempt at grasping, my focus resolved in allowing this to be without interfering.  I hear Her sweet whispers in my ear, "My Son, you will arrive one day.  This moment when you are Love and no thing else shall be your eternity."  I let Her go and in the process become one with All That Is.  In focusing just on Her I lose sight of what Is, and in the letting go of Her I can see all that She is not.  It all blurs into One, and for that moment I can feel Her through it all.  I am Love, I am this moment, I am...


I give thanks to those moments of suffering that have given me this moment just as I equally give thanks to those moments of joy that allow suffering to be.  The veils and obstacles I have built in my life through the egoic possession of my mind to what I want and what I think I am.   I need not hold on to "dreams" or visions of what I seek to be; rather I can let them go and let God.  I need not pass judgment on others based on what I know or think them to be.  I simply am as they are.  In equal parts I can let go of who I think they are as I let go of who I think I am.

The Tao that can be expressed is not the eternal Tao; The name that can be defined is not the unchanging name.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Monday, March 8, 2010


In my experience, salvation is not saving one from who he is, but rather in being free from the attachment to who we think we are or aren't.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

"I am"

"I am".  I have no need to prove what I am to that which I am.  I only need prove what I am to that which I do not believe I am...hence the separation that ego creates so that you can experience what you are through the knowledge of what you are NOT.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Embracing a higher vision

The process of experience brings me to this moment.  I give thanks.

As we develop the relationship with our higher selves it becomes very clear that there are two very distinct "selves" that we interact with.  There is the "lower" self, characterized by ego and personified as Satan in the Bible and Mara in Buddhism, Kali in Hinduism, and Shaitan in Islam.  We are often drawn to belief that this lower self dwells outside of us, and tend to separate it from us in this personification.  There is also the "higher" self characterized by love, compassion, peace and harmony.  We have personified this higher self and called it "God" in most faiths.  We also attempt to separate the personification from our selves.

The mechanism for either attempts at separation for either higher or lower selves is a function of ego.  By understanding that we these are not separate from us, we can understand the power we have in creating the conditions through focus on either one.  Once we take the responsibility for our actions, we understand this power we have and can then begin creation anew in line with what we seek.

When we are "possessed" by Satan or any of these characters, we are actually possessed by our own egos through the embracing of the lower self.  We have embraced the lower self in this manner, so in effect it is not actually possessing us as we are possessing it.  Yet, the attraction consumes us and we enjoy the experience we are meant to have in this relationship.

When we embrace our "higher" self, the action is similar although opposite to when we embrace our lower selves.  We act in accordance with that higher self, and manifest love, compassion, peace and harmony.  This attraction consumes us and we enjoy the experience we are meant to have in this relationship. 

It is important to note that, for reasons that will be explained, we should not be judging one as "bad" or "good", "worse" or "better".  They just are necessary to the experience that is our purpose and perfect because each allows the other to be.  We create the experience we wish to have through choice.  We can choose to be in line with our lower selves or higher selves at any time and in this way we are the Creator of all things.  We should also not judge which choice others have made for we can only create what is in ourselves, not what is in others.  It is also important to note that we should not be attached to the outcomes of either choice we make but rather enjoy the moments these experience provide.

From here on I would like to speak from a personal place that may not be universal for everyone.  It may be unique to me or not, but it is what I know through the sum of my experiences that have led to this moment.  As a result, I wish to speak for my quest to embrace that vision I have of higher self and to live in harmony of the vision.

I meditating on this, I came to realize that I once spent my life in rejection.  I rejected everything, from love to hate, from peace to violence, from truth to lies.  In this meditative review, it became quite apparent to me that when we come from a place of rejection, that is when we "reject" that which we do not wish to have, we actually attract it.  For me, in rejecting the lower self manifestations like cheating, lying, stealing, coveting, hating, and fighting  I am actually attracting them because they are part of my consciousness.  I give them power over me because they become my focus even if that focus is on the rejection of them.

An example of this would be what I was taught as a practicing Catholic.  I was taught about the rejection of Satan, that is rejection of the lower self.  In the practice of rejection, we reject those physical manifestations of the lower self which does, in effect, give those manifestations a power over us.  The rejection of them becomes the focus, so in effect they become the focus.  This practices gives Satan, or that personification of the lower self, power.  Otherwise, Satan does not exist.

Today, I don't reject much of anything, let alone Satan.  I can see the folly of this, the giving of power to something that simply would not exist had we simply not given it power.  What I do is embrace that which I envision as my higher self.  So rather than rejecting lying, I embrace the truth.  Rather than rejecting violence, I embrace peace.  Rather than rejecting cheating, I embrace honesty.  In this way, I can focus on the higher self, and give it power.  You simply cannot give something power by rejecting its opposite, in fact you eliminate or reduce the power that which you are seeking has when you only focus on its opposite.  Proof of this resides in my present moment, where I don't see lying, or evil, or bad in my life.  I only see love, harmony, and peace.  I know both, and have experienced both, so can speak from this perspective of experience without the supposition that many without such experience need to employ.  For that, I see all of these experiences as necessary and perfect.

Finally, I would like to offer a "real-world" experience that speaks to this point that I believe we can all relate to.  I will use an example from "Desperate Housewives" that I would like to say my wife forces me to watch (which is a joke of course).  Pardon me for sounding like one of the girls catching you up on "our shows", but it does speak to this dynamic quite well.

On last week's episode, Roy Bender is "forced" to ask Mrs. (Karen) McCluskey to marry him by Susan, as well as "forced" by his doctor to give up salt.  Roy is a little miffed at Susan, and basically says to her (and I will paraphrase here):

"You ruined everything.  We had a good thing going here and you ruined it.  It is like salt.  I never gave salt one moment's thought until I was told I couldn't have it.  Then I wanted it more than anything.  Today, I sat behind a blue-haired old lady who I have seen a million times without giving her a second thought.  Now all I can do is think about her because I am getting married and will never be able to have her."  He then proceeds to plant a kiss on Susan's lips as a testament to where his focus is.

How many of us have experienced this on some level?  I would imagine most if not all of us.  It isn't so much that we want what we can't have as much as it is we want where our focus is.  Not being able to have something, that is having to reject it, gives it our focus and a power over us that it didn't have before this focus was drawn to it.  It is no different when we reject our lower selves.  Now for the rest of the story.

Later in the episode Susan is told by Karen that she has a shadow on her lung that may be cancerous.  Susan runs into Roy who has had a complete change of heart.  He explains (again paraphrasing) that he realized how much he loved her and that she was all he wanted.

This shows a shift in focus.  Rather than rejecting others because of his love for Karen, he embraced the love he had for her.  In this shifting of focus, the embracing of higher self (love) manifested love that is not possible in the practice of rejection.  It was all a matter embracing over rejecting, and the result was harmony.

I have done the same in embracing being a vegan.  I have not rejected meat and dairy, I have embraced a plant-based diet.  In this way I don't desire meat or dairy at all, but love the food I eat and the choice I have made.  I don't think about meat or dairy at all actually because my focus is on the choice I have made, not the choice I have rejected.  I often wonder if this same methodology employed in the addictions like drug use and smoking would make the change that much more likely to be.  I have used this method for many of my "addictions", and know it works for me.

Again, I would suspect that we could all point to an experience that bears this out.  That is something that we could all meditate on at a personal level and expand on depending on which vision of self you choose to focus on.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ