Thursday, July 31, 2008


i do feel that which i should not
such a time cannot be left unnoticed
for it owns us all, treats us to such ecstasy,
and then shows us such things are but nothing.

to feel such fluttering on my crown
to feel such spring from within my root,
is to feel nothing but what is intended
and to see intent in all that i feel.

from this heat to cold
from this life to the next
to seek beyond such an invisible wall
is to peek around into the end of infinity.

alive! this is alive!
for the gaps between the stars above
create the space to serve their existence
the pain shall be endured by each of them.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

In the cause of suffering

It is late this night, a long day has passed, each moment different than the next, each leaving a little less in the tank. It seems as if my mind is on empty, the thoughts of the day wearing it paper thin, and I am left to sit in a chair staring at the lightning as it reigns havoc over the evening sky.

My youngest daughter has left me to get her bath, her mom carrying out what should be the day's final debate with my ever knowing child. The lightning grows worse, closer, the sound of the thunder draws near. It does not appear long before we are in the midst of the storm, which most likely will end my nights excursion into the free flow of words from heart to keyboard.

Yet this storm reminds me of something, as often nature does, of what causes action and purpose may be. I think of suffering, that ever present Teacher, and how nature can teach us all things. In man's decision to be separate of nature, he can't help but to forget that which nature will teach. We attempt with all of our might to end suffering, treating it as some parasite on our Being, and look for ways outside ourselves to end it. We buy things, stuff ourselves full of food, become glued to the television, seek for removal of reality by means of drugs, all the while never postponing suffering. In fact, most of the time our escapes magnify the effects of the lesson.

Suffering has become my friend. I learn from it, never trying to hide it, embrace it when it visits, and treat it with the respect it deserves. I never try to dampen its arrival, but rather I open my arms to it. I simply just wait to see what the lesson will be.

It is in the cause of suffering that we will learn, and in that learning we become closer to that which ceases all suffering. In the face of physical pain, there are times when we simply have no choice but to dampen its effects, but we should certainly make every effort to embrace the pain and to allow it to lengthen our thresholds. Make all efforts to not complain about this pain, not to embrace it as part of you, but rather observe it as a dispassionate bystander who is watching someone else having this experience.

In the cause of mental or emotional pain, understand what it is that is causing this pain. In a relationship breakup, is it the other person who is making you feel this pain, or is it the identification with the relationship that you have lost that is bringing on the anguish? In the case where your partner has inflicted some pain on you, do you identify so much with the loss that you must relive it over and over again? Is that loss really the cause of the pain or is the pain the cause of the loss? Find the source of such pain, the real source, and find a key to happiness. Do not identify with the pain, do not relish in it, do not look for it, and do not let it own you. Simply understand its source and let it be, and like a snake ready to strike shy away from it less it become a part of you in the most uncomfortable way possible. Remember, if you do not own the object, you cannot own its loss, and therefore you cannot experience any pain at the loss of it.

Another bolt cascades from the darkened sky. Nature is ridding itself of something, embracing the destructive force of lightening in order to do so. Suffering is like these bolts, the clap of thunder, the thrash of heavy winds, the beating of such a torrential downpour. Yet at the end of this moment of suffering in nature the air is cleaned, the ground thirst quenched, the weakest branches purged. Suffering off all beings results in such a cleaning and nourishing, one must embrace it as such to benefit from it. The tree does not hide from the wind, the ground from the rain, the air from the lightning, it embraces it as part of the moment, as the cleansing it is.

There are times when I seek the end of suffering or look to diminish its effects, but those times are lessening, becoming less frequent. I look forward to the moment when I can embrace those times with the same joy that I embrace the sunrise. One must realize that for every downhill race there is an uphill climb, that there is a base for every summit reached. One we can accept the suffering and learn from it, we will truly achieve the happiness that such suffering was meant to foster.


One of the many Iguanas to live with us humans on St. John. They are very cool to hang out with.

St. John Palms 1

Got to love those island trees...palms in St. John, USVI

The Philly skyline as seen from inside the old Tweeter Center during a Pearl Jam concert - June 2008.

Fourth of July Fireworks

Absolutely awesome display - Freedom Park in Medford.

Such Eternity

Dream to dare this instance,
When she touches me
She caresses my skin
Whispers softly in my ear
Allowing me but to live this moment.

Find for me a second
As she holds me in her hands
Stroking the essence of her man
Teasing me with the anticipation of what is to come
Yet allowing me to find no greater pleasure than what is.

Share with me no other
As she guides me to her essence
We connect as Beings made as one
Rhythmic movement spawned as time stands still
For all things disappear in what we are.

We collapse into each other
This is no end but the continuation of the beginning
For as she whispers softly the promise "I love you"
I can feel such eternity in her soul.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

To what does this journey begin?

This morning before I left for a meeting in upstate New York, I had some time to enjoy nature and seek its wisdom. One can always find solace and wisdom among the things of God, and as you become centered in this place you find God within you. Times like this help bring clarity, peace and perception back to Being, and help shed light on the insanity of unconsciousness that claims the soul regularly.

As the bright red sun peeked through clouds slightly above the distant horizon, I had the opportunity to feel the presence of God in the stillness. I just sat there, enjoying the very slight breeze in my face, the warmth on my skin, and the feeling of connectivity that this stillness offers. It is in moments like this that Being is confirmed, life's promise renewed, and focus brought back on to purpose rather than pursuit.

I love the sunrise, it is hard to find a more still and quite time on Earth. It is so still, so quiet, that yes, the break of dawn is a sound deafening to the soul.

I watched the birds fly and listened intently not only to the songs they offered but the silence that allowed them to be. I wondered what those birds thought of us as they circled high above in all areas of our home. I wondered if they could even relate to our insanity, to our reluctance of purpose in pursuit of things, and I realized at that point that the bird is surely smarter in most moments than we are.

I felt the asphalt turn to grass (I walk barefoot regularly), and wondered if grass could think how it would judge those of us who walked upon it. I wondered if the soles of our shoes protected the grass more than we believe they protect us. I came to realize that in its not being able to judge us as anything, the grass was truly more aware of its purpose than we are of ours.

I came to rest upon a large tree, one of several that I saw as I made my way through the mountains of upstate New York. I noticed how the leaves pointed toward the sun, partially curled by the dryness of the ground where it was destined to set its roots. I realized that the tree never asks for more than it needs, nor uses more than God gives it, and yet this tree will most likely outlive me and possibly my children. It bears no signs of stress in its thirst, no signs of frustration at not having a more beautiful place on which to rest, and yet there it is as strong as intended serving a purpose not beyond itself.

It was quite evident at that moment that we are all connected to these Beings, to the birds, to the grass, to the trees, to all life enjoying its unique existence on this home. I was reminded of an old native American saying, "there is no tree so foolish as to have its branches fighting among themselves." A tree is so aware of its purpose that it serves that intelligence without the struggle of things that don't run in line with that purpose. It has a time to sprout, a time to grow, and a time to die. In the short time between its birth and death, it [I]serves[/I] a purpose, perhaps invisible to most things of thought, but there nonetheless.

All beings in this universe serve the same purpose. And what separates humans on this planet from all other beings is the diversion from purpose to pursuit, from intelligence to stupidity, from awareness to unconsciousness. And while you may be judging me and this prose, a vast world of possibilities escapes your grasp in the moment you waste not seeking purpose inside your soul.

To find your purpose, just stop thinking about it. What inspires you? What does your Being do [I]when you do not think[/I] about being? When you are no longer seeking you can only hope but to find. When you are no longer thinking you can only be in stillness. When you are in stillness you can feel the presence of God.

In the very near future, a great change will take place on this earth. Out of the fire will rise a new Earth and a new Spirituality. The meek shall inherit the Earth, and war and violence will cease to exist. We will endure great suffering, and some will see the end to their existence while others will see a change in theirs. People will no longer seek a collective identity, or any identity, nor will they judge others. They will be as the grass, the tree, and the bird, serving an intelligence far greater than their own, in a way that offers light to all. The journey begins the day you become aware of that which makes you blind.

"Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find..."


Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Jihad

To stand on the sidelines
Not to fight for something unAmerican
Is truly the most patriotic of duties.

To stand idly by
And to not kill someone not your enemy
Is truly the most honorable action.

To take that 20 footer and still find love in your heart
That is the most human of actions.
Even if it seems more and more unlike the humans you know.

To be but a glimmer of peace
In a nation striving for anything but
Is God's clear commandment for us all.

To love thy neighbor
Although thy neighbor is an ass
Is what all that of God has taught.

To seek for love as your neighbors lob bombs
Does not make one less honorable than those who lob them
It is the most honorable of work.

So, while you master war
I will master peace, in the essence of that which made me
In that I will fight until I die.

Friday, July 11, 2008


Far away
A bomb drops
Silence begets misery.


One day
Buildings fall
The world suffers.

Change 1

Bygone eras remain as thus
The truth we think is part of us
Yet truth can change in but a tick
Yet the self remains as sick.

The Essence of Privacy

It has been asked where my priorities are, so maybe it is only fair to answer.

I believe more in the individual than in the collective. The individual can surmount more adversity, solve more problems, address more issues than can any collective mind ever created. Our nation was not made great by its collective, but by extraordinary individuals who worked on behalf of the collective. Whether it was the handful of individuals who founded this nation, or each individual at Valley Forge who endured great hardship on behalf of a collective, or the individuals who rose above the collective to repel tyranny during World War II, it has always been the individual who has made this nation great...not the other way around.

We ceased to think as individuals in the early part of the 20th century. Many writers reflecting the times wrote about this loss of the individual, and they predicted a troubling time in America as a result. They were, unfortunately, correct.

The counter-culture of the 1960's sought to bring back the individual, but it too was ruined by a sense of the collective. Today, we can't think for ourselves without first running our thoughts through the collective mindset in ourselves, Republicans must think like Republicans, Democrats like Democrats, union rank and file must think alike, police officers who see wrongdoing in their collective cannot speak out against it, and as a nation you either agree with the collective or you are not part of the collective. You can no longer be American while disagreeing with it.

In other words, you cannot be an individual anymore. You cannot think thoughts based on something beyond collective thought. You cannot act in opposition with the collective. You must live like a drone on an island of drones if you want to survive.

Or else the ATF will burn your building down and kill you all. Maybe the FBI is listening in to your phone calls. Maybe Google and even this forum report your every move to some super-secret agency posing as an internet service provider.

The issue of privacy is an individual one. Privacy is simply the act of one acting as in individual away from the collective. It is one of the last bastions of individuality left in our nation, and it is under attack. It is under attack by big business interested in tracking your every move. It is under attack by a government using fear to make you feel as if this attack somehow serves you well. Collectives like religions have a long history of attacking the individual, at some points killing a person rather than let them not be like the collective. It is even under attack within yourself as some struggle with how they feel versus how they are supposed to feel.

It is simply up to you as individuals to determine how much of yourself you are willing to give away. Either you can stay tied to the binds of materialism which is the essence of such loss, or you can reject it all and move forward as yourself. You can either identify with a collective or you can choose not to. Ultimately in that decision comes an air of responsibility, one that you cannot pass off.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Light and dismal, this thread that binds
Us all to all things that matter so much,
That the endless noise of those insane minds
Have taken the place of the simple touch.

It is now odd to love as it is the norm,
To seek out more the more we seek,
For the form of love is now the love of form,
and the less we know the more we speak.

We look to tomorrow in the hope we find,
That which is touching us so presently,
For in this conversation of the mind,
It is the ego that speaks so obnoxiously.

Do not rush to feel the hope that's passed,
Nor seek to see that which may never come,
Just love the love in the Now so vast,
And worry not about what shall Now become.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

A New Earth...One

The change is happening, the news brings alive the reaper.
To whom shall taste his scythe; the unconscious shall fall,
To take with them all that shall slowly seep into the abyss,
The darkness to which only the Dead shall call.

Need not that to which escapes your grasp,
Seek not that which you are not to find,
yet allow in each of us the cause of suffering,
To escape such insanity and pleadings of the mind.

Fear not, for you suffer this day,
Not for eternity, but so that you suffer no more,
the Horsemen come, the drum bangs slowly,
Keeping time in this crime of time's detour.

See that! new life is arisen,
Be part of it, it is part of you.

Daily Prayer

I will not be a terrorist in this world.

I will not be a murderer in this world.

I will not suffer the indignity of not accepting the awareness so easily given to me by my Creator.

I will not treat the definition of honor as if it were my socks, to be changed when I don't like how it smells anymore.

I will honor the teachings of Jesus, Buddha, and Lao-tzu not just when it suits me, but more so when it doesn't.

I will accept suffering into my world as a means to the end of it.

I will search for the unity in all things, for that is where truth resides.

I will give up what I AM in order to find out what I AM.

I will end the insanity of the mind simply by not identifying with it.

I will be love in whatever form the present allows it to take.

I will serve man in whatever capacity the present allows.

I need not search for the Source (God) for I am part of it and it is part of me.

Daily mantra...

I will not be a terrorist in this world.

I will not be a murderer in this world.

I will not suffer the indignity of not accepting the awareness so easily given to me by my Creator.

I will not treat the definition of honor as if it were my socks, to be changed when I don't like how it smells anymore.

I will honor the teachings of Jesus, Buddha, and Lao-tzu not just when it suits me, but more so when it doesn't.

I will accept suffering into my world as a means to the end of it.

I will search for the unity in all things, for that is where truth resides.

I will give up what I AM in order to find out what I AM.

I will end the insanity of the mind simply by not identifying with it.

I will be love in whatever form the present allows it to take.

I will serve man in whatever capacity the present allows.

I need not search for the Source (God) for I am part of it and it is part of me.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Untitled IV

I do not stive to be unlike,
Any other that God has made,
Yet to be untrue to the least of you,
Will surely see me fade.

Presence in nature - One

To be within nature, that which spawned us all into this existence we know as "human", that which gave life to this world, that IS life in this world, now that is to find Heaven on Earth as surely as it is to find stars in the universe. To see the nature man has since forgotten, that vestige of life he once called his "Mother", to feel the offering of such on my skin, the coolness of it all on my being, to be present in nature is to be in the midst of God itself.

To walk among these things is to realize that nature honors us much more than we honor it. It provides for us, sees to our sanity, provides us entertainment, and gives us that unique understanding of the I before the things of form cloud the self. We attempt to harness its power, to control its might, and pretend so arrogantly that we are in some kind of control, yet more often than not nature can end our arrogance with but a shrug of itself. We are truly but a flea on nature, an obscure parasite that is here at its behest, and can leave much the same. We cannot and are not in control of our destiny, and the sooner we end our arrogance that somehow we are the dominant in this relationship the sooner we will be at peace with all that is.

We would end the life of a natural thing without pause, as if somehow it is less than us. This is because we fail to see that what makes that living being what it is is the same that makes us what we are. It is not in the intellect of the being that offers its superiority, nor is it in strength of form, nor can it be found in cause or purpose; for nothing in nature is superior to another, all things serve a purpose united in the moment it exists that cannot be altered except by unconsciousness. It can even be said that things altered in unconsciousness serve a purpose, either to awake that which is unconscious or to offer a step toward that purpose. Still, man seems to be the only being in nature who is not aware of its purpose.

In proof of purpose, I offer you a bird I observed this afternoon. Some might say a bird's purpose is to have offspring, to continue its species. Others might say that the bird's purpose is to live and die. I, however, observed this golden finch's purpose as it was singing. It was quite obvious that that bird's purpose was to sing. It gave no thought to nest building at that moment. It gave no thought to laying an egg, or hatching a chick; no - its only thought was of singing. It seemed to give all of its energy and commitment to the song. What a beautiful song it was, for the finch gave itself completely to the song without a moment's concern of what was to happen or what was to be, all things at that moment was as it must be..

I heard a story once about a dog understanding purpose and presence better than any man. If you walk into a room, a dog reacts with love and affection galore. Leave and walk back in five minutes later, the dog reacts the same. Why? Because it cares little for the past and nothing of the future, it just knows what is at the present moment. The second part of the dog metaphor has to do with reaction and the past. If you beat a dog, really abuse it, and 10 years later walk into a room with the dog, it very likely will bite you. The difference between man in his unawareness (lack of presence) and the dog is that the dog didn't spend those 10 years thinking about biting you. He went about his life being a dog, until that very moment when he saw you again. That dog also probably didn't react afterward either.

Yet as humans we carry around a bunch of excess baggage. We hold grudges, struggle with the insanity of our lives, and often suffer mightily because of it. We listen repetitively to the noise of thought in our head, choosing the insanity of thought over the sanity of presence. We fear that which we cannot understand, even personifying our Creator as if it were a man so that we could understand it better. We look outwardly for a savior, a man who will give us salvation because we cannot understand that in our making we have salvation inwardly - inside us all.

We have lost our individuality, our ability to work things out ourselves. We strive to interfere. We must save each of us from ourselves, passing laws that serve a purpose of futility. Seat belt laws are a great example. We have to interfere so much that we make it unlawful NOT to wear a seat belt while driving! This lack of awareness does not take into consideration that all things will be as they must be, whether or not the seat belt is worn! Nothing that is to happen can be stopped, no matter what law we pass in another arrogant attempt to enforce our will over that which will be.

"I do not stive to be unlike,
Any other that God has made,
Yet to be untrue to the least of you,
Will surely see me fade."

When we are no longer in tune with nature, or understand that all things happen as they must, then we are doomed to fail as a human experiment. Since in can be readily assured that we are not human beings seeking a spiritual existence but rather are spiritual beings enjoying a human experience, we must surely find ourselves in tune with that which binds us to our Source. Otherwise, we cease to be relevant in that existence, and when we come to be so out of tune with our purpose as to no longer matter, we will cease to exist on this plane. To use a modern NFL metaphor, it would be like seeing 150-pound offensive lineman and 350-pound wide receivers on the field, all wearing ballet slippers. It just doesn't fit. Since we are spiritual beings enjoying a uniquely human experience, once we cease to behave in line with spiritual beings we cease to exist in the manner we no longer have a relevancy necessary to exist. We cease to be who we are, so we cease to be.

Presence acts like a capacitor on a circuit board (assuming I remember electronics at all). It (presence) gates down the ego so that we perform in purpose. Once that capacitor blows, and the current (ego) flows unchecked, the power is too great and the board destroys itself. We are in the midst of a capacitor who is about to fail, so either we can fix it and move peacefully in purpose or it will fail at the result will be catastrophic.

This does not serve as a threat, or even a warning, as I am ready for whatever each moment has in store for me. As indicated in the Book of Revelations, a "new earth" will arise along with a "new heaven", showing that after the failure of the capacitor the new board will be created. In this new "board", the new Earth will share with a new heaven a state of peace; the new "heaven being spirituality and awareness, with the "new" earth being the purpose of all who are alive to share in the awareness.

peaceful world: Vipassana Meditation

peaceful world: Vipassana Meditation

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Do you remember how it felt?
The stinging sound of that angry belt?
The force of hatred so easily,
Born down on us such treachery?

Perhaps this life has seen you pause,
You need for which such evil caused,
You submit that for what mine own eyes saw,
The sounds of footsteps spur such recall.

Or change in you have forgiven such,
Or act as if you have done as much?
Do you forgive so fast such a past as well
Or is it fear you have in what such past will tell?

Such dismay in such forgot,
You honor those who honor not,
Close your eyes as not to be forced to see,
The light of such honor's misery.

Turn your back on he who won't,
Silence time for he who don't,
It won't change that for which you cannot run,
You seek respite for that which there is simply none.

The burden, girl and little boy,
The man who loved you did destroy,
The blame you passed from one to next,
The pain found in such context.

A sister is a sister not,
As evil lives in honor's slot,
A brother who is dead to thee,
Shall not silence each day's misery.


It is the sorry soul of the angry man,
Who is destined to repeat that for which he may never apologize,
And who is destined to have such anger repeated onto himself,
That is the hell for which he strives.

To wallow in such disgrace is the angry man,
Yet to never admit the pit in which he swims,
He will never understand the stench that remains upon his very being,
It is true he shall walk in such mud forever.

Release all that eats of you,
Understand that this moment is not that which created the beast,
And understand that the past is the food that feeds it.
Let go, and let God, the Being who is the Source of you without such pause.

You - control the moment, and do not let the past control that which is,
Rather seek the moment for itself, allow it to be as it should,
Feel the peace of such awareness as it washes over you,
Clearing the mud and stench and renewing your life eternal.

Seek and ask for such forgiveness,
but do not hold on such forgiveness to move beyond,
Relate to what is now, not to what was,
Seek that which is, not that which could have been.

And soon the beast will disappear,
A faint dot of darkness over a renewed landscape,
And you will be free,
Secure as the Observer, not the thinker, secure as the Being, not the human.