The Path to Heaven (our Source)

It is said that the path of heaven can only go through hell.  If this experience is known, and the way to heaven is hell, then perhaps it must be reasoned that the path to hell is everywhere heaven is not.  If one can see that there is no true duality in our existence unless we have created it, then one can see that there is, in fact, no place that heaven is not.  Yet, perhaps the hell that we experience in heaven's absence (or the veil that separates us from experiencing the heaven that we are in), is nothing more than our creation.   It would be like a guppy in a large bowl who can only see the water saying "there is nothing but this water, no bowl, no air; nothing but this water".  The things beyond his grasp are not absent, they are simply not seen and therefore not known.  If he has not seen it he cannot know it, and therefore cannot experience it.  Yet it is there.


The path to heaven does not appear to me to be something we "get to".  We do not walk aimlessly through this life until we finally die and then see heaven.  The guppy will eventually get to the bowl or the air if he just stays still. Encountering the bowl or air is not incumbent on any action on his part.  Eventually the veil will be lifted.  It is no different in our quest for that which we were told exists, but that which we can't remember experiencing.  We were there before we were "born" and will be there after we die because, in essence, we have never left it.  Rather, we have created water to separate us from the bowl and the air.  We wonder aimlessly through the water.  We fight the currents and wonder why we haven't moved or have fallen backwards.  We dive to the depths and wonder where all the air is and, in fact, question whether the air exists at all.  We create the veil of doubt because of our own actions if they don't work out to the purpose we have also created.  Yet, nothing changes but in your mind.


I believe Jesus was an enlightened man dealing with guppies swimming about.  When he said to follow him, that he was the path to heaven, what exactly did he mean?  Did he mean that being Christian got you to heaven?  No, Christianity did not exist when Jesus did.  Did he mean that preaching and teaching would get you there?  No.  So what did Jesus mean when he said to follow him to heaven?


Look at the stages that are known about Jesus.  He lived as a man, learned his religion's traditions and virtues, and then discovered an enlightened path along the way.  He saw the bowl and the air and although he couldn't tell you much about them, he knew not only how he got there but that they existed.  So, he tried to tell us how to get there so that we could know, and thereby experience, heaven.


Heaven is all around us, but we can't see it.  It isn't because it is some mystical place to which we are not privileged, but rather because of the veils of distraction we have created that block us from viewing it.  Perhaps Jesus wished to offer us an extreme example of what is necessary to lift the veils and move beyond the distractions.  Perhaps, as I believe, this is what he meant by "follow me".


Jesus lived as a man.  He fasted (ascetic), prayed (meditated), and practiced compassion and love.  Those things alone are not enough to know heaven.  In order to know something, you must first know its opposite.  You know day because of night, light because of darkness, yin because of yang.  Therefore, in order to know the paradise that is heaven, you must first know that suffering that is hell.  I don't believe that many of us could relate to Jesus' life as "suffering".  We aren't given that information (although fasting for 40 days and nights would seem to suggest some ascetic form of suffering).  So we are given the extreme in order to understand that suffering must be part of any experience of heaven.  Without it, we simply would not know what heaven was.


So Jesus suffered and died, which in my experience is an analogy for the suffering and death we face before knowing heaven.  That can happen in this existence we call life without the death of the body.  Death is nothing more than the lifting of the veils we have created in order to understand a much deeper reality; a reality that is, at its most quantum level, our Source.  What we call "heaven".  I have died many times in this existence, and as each layer is removed I get closer to the core.  As each veil is lifted I begin to see.


So, in effect, every path to heaven must go through hell.  It doesn't matter if you believe that Jesus existed as a man or see him as God.  It doesn't matter if you don't believe that God exists or have a wonderful relationship with God.  It remains the same for each of us. 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Each Cell of a Tree is Just Like Me!

Observance is a gift that should not be overlooked.  I love to just sit quietly and observe everything around me without interfering.  It's refreshing to see the universe spin around me, how it all works just exactly as it should.  I can inhale and get air, I can exhale and give a gift.  All without doing anything at all.

I was stuck, as has been the case a lot lately, sitting at an airport gate just waiting.  Sometimes I find work to do, but this time I just wanted to sit and watch.  Some people where hurriedly rushing about, others were taking their time, some had family and friends and others, like me, were alone.  Some were sleeping, some were being frustrated for one reason or another, others were reading or watching TV.  And some were just doing what I was doing - observing it all.  

I realized something in a memory I had.  I wondered if I viewed this activity from above if it would look like the video of the bloodstream I saw once.  A rush of activity with each pulse of the heart followed by stillness.  In that stillness there was still activity, and  in the rush of activity there was stillness.  It all seemed chaotic yet it all had beautiful purpose; an organization of creation inspired by what was necessary.  When I viewed this video, as I viewed the activity around, me I realized that each component of this activity was individual in nature yet serving a much higher purpose.  Each cell was itself, yet fulfilling a purpose it was created to fulfill.  I have no idea whether or not that cell realized what it was doing, but I realized that it had very little choice no matter how much choice it thought it had.  I must fulfill its purpose, for its purpose was being fulfilled with each passing moment.

With this, my mind shifted toward a tree.  I love trees...they embody what I see as a "microcosm of existence".  Each tree has a component that is individual in nature yet cannot survive without the others.  A branch is a branch.  A leaf is a leaf.  A trunk is a trunk.  Roots are roots.  They are individual components of the universal thing we call a "tree", each integral to the other, each necessary for the other to fulfill its purpose.  In this way, the purpose of the leaf is to give the roots an opportunity to live their purpose.  It is no different when we view anything we can see in this existence; our ecosystem is built on this premise as is our entire universe.  Everything serves everything else.  Nothing serves everything and everything serves nothing.  Light and darkness serve each other.  Both are individual, yet cannot be without the other.  It is a consistent theme in our universe.

Our greatest gift to the universe is just to be.  The cell of a tree's trunk doesn't spend its time worrying about whether or not the cells of its root are working.  They are too busy doing what they need to do.  Our red blood cells don't worry about what the white cells are doing, they are busy fulfilling their purpose.    It isn't selfishness to do what you intend to do because when you fulfill this purpose you provide a gift to others so that they may do the same.  In this way, I am not an individual, but a part of a whole.  I create so that you may create.  You are so that I may be.  Without each other we simply do not exist.

We are no different from the cells of a tree, or the cells of our own body.  We are as temporary as every cell in our bodies (most of which renew every year).  We were before we are and will be after were gone, as this existence is but a transition.  A mighty oak was once a tiny seed, it just kept on fulfilling its purpose without question and will continue to do so even after it has fallen.  We are no different, we are not separate, we are ONE.

So, as I write this on a plane I see all of the people around me.  We are individuals, but one on a plane.  I will look at the ground as we land and see the rush of activity coupled with beautiful stillness.  I will see an entire universe below me, all necessary for it all to be.  This story never ends, this story never dies, and this story never gets old.  After all, it is our purpose.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

"I Did Not Know" (A Practice of Inspiration)

I simply did not know.  I felt the energy the first time our eyes met; like the shock of cold water running down my sunburned back it felt oh so good while exposing what was oh so bad.  I needed it, I needed you but was not ready.  Or so it seemed.  I was an infant, and there you were demanding that I run when I had so much to learn before I could walk.  You weren't demanding, I was demanding.  I could have let you go to your own wonders, yet I selfishly demanded that you walk this path with me.  I was begging for it to be whole; the voice within me saying "this is it" while the voices around me were saying "this is over".  So I ran, blistering my feet softened by self-loathing.  So I ran, abrading my knees with each stumble, scarring my legs with each fall.  So I ran, until you were broken and I was healed.  I learned to run before I learned to walk and I forced you to crumble with the stench of my fear.  The fear that kept me still even as my legs were making the motions you required of me...of what I had to require of myself.  I ran as to not lose you.  I ran as to not have to let go of the only piece of me that felt real. 


Yet I did not know.  The tear-stained site of where your smile once stood remained proof of my ignorance.  My longing heart broken by the steel coursed remembrances of time simply did not know how to beat.  Such pitiful displays of weakness bound us together by sheer force of will - shear force of fear of what lie on the other side of knowing.  My sheer force was destructive; yours moved mountains.  My force caused pain; yours created love.  My will laid barren a once beautiful oasis; yours spawned life anew from a craggy cliff.


So what do I owe this practice of inspiration, this creation brought from the example you have given me?  Your love, my dear, the cooling spring in the desert, the chilly breeze on a hot summer's day.  Your steadfastness in the most uncertain of times; your example of what love is in the midst of a torrent of fear.  My hand is all I have to offer, my heart is all I have to give.  It is yours as I have no need for it beyond you.  Perfection is not my middle name and sorrow follows me as surely as this shadow reminds me of who I am without the Light.  Yet now I know, for you have shown me.  Now I know.


All I know I learned from you.  Others taught me fear, you taught me love.  My life had been a story of suffering, you gave me an opportunity to see.  I am but a sapling, but you helped me break through the soil.  I did not know how great life could be until I realized how bad it was.  How bad I was making it.  Yet from that seed nurtured by what Love Is I stand, a sapling in the woods with you as my Sun, my Rain, my subtle air.  I inhale in joy as I bask in the Love you have given me.  I feel your touch as I enjoy all that being is spirit provides.  In this I know.


What was born from what I did not know I surely now know.  I did not always see this sun, I sometimes lose sight of the way, yet from the darkness I stand still and all I need do is listen.  Listen for you.  Yes, now I know.  I am home wherever I can hear you.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

The Stone Cutter

I received this story from a Facebook friend and was so touched by it that I felt it worth sharing.

The Stonecutter
Author Unknown

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day he passed a wealthy merchant's house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it - a huge, towering rock. "How powerful that rock is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a rock!"

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the rock?" he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.

Just a lovely story, uncompromising in both its simplicity and its message.  


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

The Awakening

There are times when the journey takes us to unexpected places where the events of the moment do not seem to be so enlightened, or peaceful, or ordained as those we would not rather forget.  Yet, as we overlook those moments we can find purpose in them.  Yesterday was such a day for me, a day part of me would much rather forget, a day in which it appeared I was on a rain-slicked path spinning my wheels and going nowhere but backward.  Yet today, at the dawn of a new beginning, I can view those moments from where I am and not where I expected to be.  I can see purpose, and embrace that purpose.

It began Sunday night with dreams that kept me up most of the night.  I can't say I was particularly horrified at any of them, but they just kept waking me up.  Dreams don't ordinarily have a frightful effect on me; I see them as pathways to another time or existence and often just allow them to be in my mind until they fade away.  Yet those dreams had a compounding effect on me throughout the day, causing me to create sadness, anger, frustration and hopelessness in me.  Late last night I struggled with whether to write about that day or not, wanting to protect the innards of my mind from the light that stings it.  Yet, as I awoke this morning I felt as if the light was the only thing that could save me from my mind.  I decided to share.

The dreams continued last night.  They are not necessarily linear; they seem to be random examples presented to me of continuous anger, fear and frustration.  Yet I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose, as if the voice I heard in the background telling me to "keep focus on that which you are" rang true beyond the events going on around me in my dream-state.  It didn't start that way on Sunday night, but it ended that way last night.

The most vivid dream I had on Sunday night was both frustrating and saddening to me.  I was at a campfire on a beach somewhere.  It was both cold and hot, with the air being frigid enough to turn my breath white but also being warmed by the searing heat of the fire.  A group of people I know (who will remain nameless) are beating on someone I don't know, or may know.  The man being beaten kind of looks like me, but it is too hard for me to tell...although in my dream's mind I wonder if it is me somehow.  They are hitting him with bats, fists, and kicking him with thuds so loud it would seem to shake the earth around us.  The victim is not protesting, he is only smiling...an eerie vision of pain being overcome by pure joy.  I wish I could say "they" were beating him, but I must say "we" were, and it seemed as if the beating was happening only to stop him from the simple act of smiling.

I can still feel the sadness in my heart as I beat on him.  I could hear a voice inside of me telling me to stop, but there was a much louder voice of fear telling me that if I stopped I would be next.  So I joined in, pretending to laugh with the others, pretending that I wasn't suffering at my own hand, pretending that none of it mattered.  The sweat on my body from the effort chilled me, and I could feel as if I was freezing under the might of my own effort.

Then I woke up.  I rubbed my face, and silently said a "what the fuck" before closing my eyes and stilling myself back to sleep.  The other dreams were not as long (as I remember them), and not as vivid.  Each time I woke up I felt a bit more frustration, a bit more anger, and a LOT more sadness.  It seemed as if the purpose of me sleeping was self-torture, and if the purpose of waking was to inspect the wounds.  At one point, it was about 3am, I wondered if I should stay awake only to wake up again at 4:13 asking the same question.  I could not stay awake although I did not want to fall asleep.

So I woke up a bit later than usual on Monday.  I showered, and began work as usual, but felt as if I could explode any moment.  I felt exhausted, wondering what tragedy was about to hit me like a train and expecting to be hit on the head by the sky at any moment.  I can say that most of the anger and fear were gone in me, replaced by a complete feeling of sadness, remorse and a distinct feeling of worthlessness.  Was it the dreams that got me to this or where the dreams helping me get over this?  That question finally popped into my head as I lay down reading the book Jesus by Deepak Chopra.  I wondered if this book had caused the dreams, perhaps triggering some hidden emotion in me that was being released in my subconscious.  Regardless of "how?” the question became "why?" as I sought to discover the cause of suffering within me.

I have to say that in my meditation before falling asleep I begged for an answer.  What was it about these dreams that caused me to feel such enormous sadness and worthlessness?  Was I sad because I felt worthless or worthless because I felt sad?   I firmly believe in working hard to focus on that inner voice within us.  It tells us all we need to know.  I can see throughout my life all of the distractions I have created in order to not listen to that voice.  I can see ego's clear purpose in distracting us from our "inner God" so that we may create situations that make that "inner God" shine through.  The trick is never in identifying those distractions or even in hearing the voice within, but in being able to find focus on it and in maintaining that focus.  That is where I fail mightily (if there is such a thing as failure in this regard).  I have identified that voice, and can hear it clearly, but somehow manage to be distracted more often than not.  I get lost in inane arguments about politics, religion, finances with others.  Yet, the clear distraction comes within me.  My need to talk...my need to be heard...my need to discover distracts me from my need to create and my need to just simply "be".

Psalm 46:10 states it clearly.  "Be still and know that I am God".  I used to focus on the "still" part.  It has been my experience that stillness is the only action necessary to know God (and you would be amazed at what you find when you find "God").  The recurrence of the "dream by the fire" last night caused me to focus on another part of this psalm in my mediation this morning.  "Be".  The command in this Psalm is not "still"...the command is "be".  The action is not "still", the action is "be".  It would appear to me that I have had it all wrong...that stillness is not where you find God...it is where you know God.  To find God you must "be" and in stillness you know the God you find in Being.  All things of God come from what you find in the presence or absence of stillness.  If all depends, of course, on how you seek to define God.

As I said, the dream did return last night.  It was a bit more vivid than the night before.  There was the hot fire raging before me, with my focus being distracted from this light by a group of people beating on someone.  I grabbed a pallet board and headed over to be "one of the crowd" with the nervous excitement anyone who has ever engaged in violence feels.  Yet, I looked at the man prone on the ground, smiling, I felt the sadness again.  Yet, I didn't feel sad for him.  He was still smiling and finding joy in this moment.  He was being hurt, no doubt about it, but he wasn't suffering.  He was accepting who we were even as we weren't accepting who he was.  He was accepting where he was and what was being done.  This enraged the crowd who simply seemed to want to beat the joy out of him.  I could imagine this is how Jesus felt during his torture.   Although he felt pain he did not suffer.  Jesus suffered before his arrest as he struggled to accept.  Once he accepted that the cup would not pass, the suffering ended.  This must have enraged the Romans so used to defiance shriveling before their torturous methods.  Acceptance can end the suffering in one but magnify it in another who refuses to accept.

I realized at this moment in my dream that I didn't feel sadness for him, but for us.  I felt such enormous grief for those like me at that moment who felt a need to torture and hurt a person not like them.  I felt sad for me for being so distracted by the crowd as to lose sight of who I was.  I felt the remorse of a million pounds bear down on me.    I wondered if any Roman torturer felt this feeling as he beat the life out of a man who simply accepted the moment.

I dropped the board I was holding as walked through the crowd.  Everything stopped just long enough for me to lie down next to the man.  Again, he looked like me but with a straggly goatee that went down to his nearly his chest.  He was bald, but was too bloody and swollen for me to say for sure that I was looking at myself.  I just have a feeling that this was me...and my focus clearly stayed on the two of us for the moment we were allowed.

"Hello, brother" was all the man said.  We both smiled and...

I awoke.  

The questions immediately popped into my head in the darkness of an early Tuesday morning.  Do I wish to be the Romans or the man?  Do I wish to be the meek or the powerful?  Do I wish to inherit the earth or die trying to hold on to what is not permanent and not mine to hold on to?  Do I wish to be eternal or restricted to time?  What is my focus?  That’s the great thing about purpose.  It never ends, not even with the death of my body or the death of my thoughts.  The purpose of light will always be to shine; the purpose of darkness will always be to define the light.  There have rarely been greater moments of joy than what is in my heart this moment.  I may be challenged.  I may lose focus.  But purpose? Well that I can never lose.

Namaste.

The Changes Love Has Made in Me

I so wish that you could see,
The changes Love has made in me,
Into this world I was born anew,
Conceived by Love first found in you.


Darkness truly helped me find,
The sunshine that now lights my mind,
For what was once a spec of light,
Has now restored a blind man's sight.


I thank you here through art and pen,
And beg of you to live for Now...not then,
Know me now so you can see,
The changes Love has made in me.



©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Two Peas in a Pod

I watch others move as if drones,
going about their rituals in some repetitive fashion,
creating drama where there is none
as if that is a cure for their mundaneness.

I see some obsessed with thoughts,
telling themselves through demanding of others
that somehow they have the answer
to the evils of the world.


They judge themselves through their judgments of others,
they complain about themselves when they forget who they are,
they hate themselves as they bomb others into submission,
this hate cleverly disguised as some dramatic love they swear to so strongly.


They act with bravado when at their weakest,
they protest in others the same in themselves.
They work so damn hard to be separate from One,
then eagerly complain about the suffering that difference provides.


I shake my head in utter disbelief and then...
I realize I am staring at others as others are staring at me.
We are all shaking our heads at the other's dismay
Two peas in a pod as the wise like to say.


I am not separate from you.
You are not separate from me.
We are no different except in that which we create.
You are my blessing, you give me the opportunity to see what I am,
I have always just needed to look, to see, with eyes so shut as to see for the very first time.


Imagine if I could just experience that which I know.
That you are me and I am...you.
Do the branches of one tree hate each other?
Do the droplets of water in the ocean push each other away?
Do two peas in the pod share such wisdom this way?



©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Ask

Do I stop this insane projection of what I think?
That which some will call "preaching"?
Do I hide such light under a basket or simply let it be
For others to read by or choose to ignore?


I ask God simply,
"Why do I have this need to speak"?
God's reply was equally simple,
"You are."


I have such need to breathe
Although I never asked for it.
I have such need for my soul to escape its bounds,
Although I never asked for it.
I long for silence, that I ask for...
Yet it does not come,
I am looking for it in the wrong place.

I am stuck with the noise,
Though I did not ask for it.
I am stuck with the memories of suffering past,
I did not ask for them.
I long for acceptance, that I ask for...
Yet it does not come,
I am looking for it in the wrong place. 


The sun surely never asked to light the world,
Yet it does.
The earth surely never asked to be killed by us men,
Yet it is.
My mouth never asked to utter one word,
My hand never asked to write one phrase,
Yet it will.  Yet it does.


God says,
"Why do you question your purpose?"
I say, "because others tell me to",
We laugh at the thought.
Does the earth question why it spins?
Does the moon question why it lights the night sky?
Do the stars ask why they define the void?
Perhaps not, they know no better.
They have not yet met those who do.


We tend to think purpose a constant.
Yet it seems to change like the seasons.
Somedays it is the purpose of the clouds to rain,
Others it is to snow.
So my purpose today may be to rain,
Tomorrow it may be to snow.
Next week it may be to just remind us of how much we love the sun.
Yet I cannot stop being a cloud,
Just as you cannot stop judging what I should be.


So this I say...
You may hate me for my words.
You may ignore me for my thoughts.
You may simply love me for who I am,
or seek to change me for who you are.
You may hold me for my warmth you see,
or shun me for all my cold you feel.
You may simply want me for what I am,
or turn your back on me for what you think.
Yet I will be...me.

Perhaps one moment I will be who you ask me to be.
Perhaps that moment I will not be who others need me to be.
Who has the right to complain in that moment?
I will not be you...I cannot be you
I must be me...
Is it selfish to breathe as I must?

Is the sun selfish to shine as it does?
I guess if you get warm from it it is not,
Yet if you allow yourself to be burnt it is.
The sun just shines...we create in it what we wish to see.


Are we selfish for expecting them to be different?
While we focus on speck in the eyes of others,
the beam in our own surely grows dark.
Are we selfish for Being?
Or are we selfish for expecting others to be
what we ask them to be?


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Be LOVE

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Glimpses of who I AM

I can only know emptiness through the illusion of fullness.  Love through the illusion of fear.  Eternity through the illusion of time.  I know who I AM through the illusion of that which I create myself to be.

Our existence, what we egoically call "our lives", has the purpose of creation.  We create our circumstances, our loves, our hates, our dreams, our goals, our fortunes, our misdeeds, our SUFFERING continuously in this egoic cycle of creation.  Yet in every moment of this existence is the Observer, the Experiencer of this creative cycle which is the Source of who we are living and sharing in the experience itself.  To know this Self is to know your Source, and to know your Source is to know who I AM.  Once you know the I AM, the hold these illusions have over you begins to fade.  You need not believe in anything, you just need be.  You need not have anything, for there is nothing you don't have.  Labels fade.  Judgments end.  Life becomes eternity.

I have seen these times in very short flashes in my life.  These moments are what have gotten me through the the nightmares I have create for myself and others.  These moments are what I strive to know...those glimpses of what I AM are powerful and full of joy.  They are not "bad", they are perfect because they lead me to what I AM.  Such joy is known through the illusion of fear necessary to experience it.  This is what makes both perfect.

Enjoy both moments...seek not to judge them but allow them to be.  You will find peace.




©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

OM

You are my OM,
My love, my beautiful sky.
My transcendent light, my harmless flower,
Mine which does not belong to me.


I fall into Your graces,
We are One in Your disguise,
To see such brightness, To feel such warmth
Is to be absorbed into Love's sweet harmony.

Forget what I was, take all that I am,
Be still beside me and share in this Silence,
Feel my love and share me Yours,
As the glue that makes us whole.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

A Babe in the Womb

I am but a babe in the womb.  I do not know that I am supposed to have more than I have right now.  I do not  know that I am supposed to have more space to move.  I do not know that I should be demanding more than I need from this place where "I am".

I have not yet learned that there is so much more than the creation going on around me.  No one has taught me yet that I should fear what is happening, or what may happen, or what may not happen.  I have not been instructed yet in the fine art of wanting more, of desiring something other than what I have now, or even of looking into the future for a quest I may never see.

At some point my fingers and toes are webbed.  I don't even care, I just accept.  I do not know that they are supposed to be different in order to be "normal".  In fact, I don't even know how to see "normal" beyond what is right now.  My eyes are fused shut.  Yet, I see all that I need to see.  What could possibly be better than what is?

I can hear noises around me.  I react suddenly because they distort the silence of what is around me.  I have learned to love the silence although I did not know that until I first heard the noise.  Some in a much different universe will marvel at my reactions and do what they can to ensure I react over and over again.  I don't complain, I just am.

I don't seek to harvest this space I am in.  I have no need to harm others for my sustenance, it is being provided to me by my Creator.   Wealth is idiocy to me, for what would I do with more than I have now?  I do not destroy this womb in the search of wealth or more.  I need not pollute my body with ways of feeling better than I do now since that would be impossible. 

My time here is short, but I have no concept of time.  I just exist in this moment and accept all that is provided for me.  I have no memories of where I was before I came to this place, and I don't mind that convenience.  Not knowing where I have been nor caring where I am going allows me to enjoy where I am in joy.  I grow, and allow what has Created me to work through me.

I am perfect.  Then one day I am born and meet the world.  I forget my perfection and seek my imperfection.  My parents show me all of their imperfections in order to continue the cycle of being imperfect so that I can exist in this imperfect world.  I resist it all, strive for more and more, and question the very nature of my existence.  I graduate into being "human", suffering mightily in the education and longing for that which I will never get.  Yet, somehow, I believe I am better and smarter than the babe in the womb although I am not sure how.  What now appears to suggest that I know so much more seems to prove that I know so much less.  With each act of war, with each selfish act of acquiring more than I need, with each passing moment in which I count the seconds of my life waiting for the next instead of living for the now I prove how much less I know.

For some, the journey will be and end in such condition.  For others, they will be born anew into the understanding of experience.  They will look at their aging fingers with joy.  They will appreciate their space without attachment.  They will see the billions of points of light coming from within the darkness we call "sky".  They will live simply in order to allow the planet to be without harm.  They are the meek, and they shall inherit the earth.

Peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Enter the Silence

Friend, whisper to me that which you long to feel,
Allow us to forget what we think and see who we are,
And in the calming of those storms raving our hearts from without,
Let us see the beauty of what is from within.

Do not hesitate, for the time is at hand!
The Lord has come, can you feel Him inside you?
Silence your mind, allow your soul
And the Kingdom of All That Is will be seen.


In my death I have come to be in my Life,
And in my life have come to be in my death,
For only one of the four is real,
And only that which Is can be called "truth".


Behold, the darkness has set upon us,
Yet through the sliver of my eyelids barely parted
A thousand suns have come alive in the midst of night,
Both Being so the other may be known.


I change my mind and I change the world,
Take this hand outstretched in Love and change the world with me,
We close our eyes and see for the very first time,
We enter the Silence in true harmony.



©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Silence

I am but a slave to those kisses that will never come,
Wishing me away through some slot in the wall that has been created.
I do so wish for love unabridged by that which was,
For unkempt, free, unchained acts kept holy in the hearts of the players.


Free me! Allow me to be!
For I am but a slave to the freedom that shall never be free,
I seek that in you which is not yours to give
and long for nectar that you do not produce.

I am a fish held fast in a sea free of water,
I flop around as if dancing to the tune of Emptiness.
Pour that which will save me into my lungs,
As I seek to know how I got here in the first place.

Do so be my friend, my partner in this endless noise,
And walk with me into the Stillness,
Allow us to cast out those things that whisper so wrongly in our ears,
And listen to the only thing the speaks the truth of lovers eternal.

Silence.


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Where the Pitman Rink Use to Be (an ode to friends and memories)

As if I've stumbled onto memory,

I've tripped in distant past,

A moonlight park, a player's bench,

An eternal moment cast.

 

To leave that place I've never left,

A soul in disarray,

An old man stares at that moonlit ground,

Still to feel his youth's dismay.

 

To know such place as hallowed truth,

Is to know much mental fear,

And to know such ecstasy as was on this ground,

Is to know that he was here.

 

I shall not forget the sweat and tears,

I used to set me free,

And time can't change what Love had made,

Where the Pitman Rink Used to Be.

  The old place is gone forever. Torn down as time wore it's warped boards and chipped is rugged asphalt. Yet to me this place shall always exist. It may be important to share such fond memories with those who were so integral in making them. We are not guaranteed any moment past this one, so to share it is a priceless gift.

 

It surely is an anonymous place to most, and there must be a million such places effecting a million such people as me. Yet I can still remember meeting Timmy Broger down there, and the many different characters who used to play hockey "just for fun" on the weekends and after work. I can remember having to sweep the broken bottles off the place before we played, or in having to shovel the surface before a league game. But mostly I can remember the laughter of friends and the bonds that were forged there. I can remember Derek and John in all of their youth and the teams that we made not just to win, but to just have so much fun that we would never forget those moments. God I owe Derek and John so much for taking the time to build those teams and the memories that will forever walk with me.

 

Of course we didn't always use the rink for hockey. I can remember moments burned into my mind forever in the joy that only friends could share. It is remarkable what perspective one can gain with experience, but to relive those moments in my mind is as almost to shout "slow down Tom, enjoy this moment for all of its worth!" In my old man's eye I look through my youth at such special memories.

To you, my friends, who made one place a bastion for such remarkable memories I can only offer my love in return. There are other places like this with other friends; places where we go by now only in passing but hold such valuable memories. For me such places exist like the Woodbury Height's McDonalds where I have some awesome memories. Skater's Choice…The Oak Tree…Ewan Lake…the lake at Marshall's where I not only skated by where Vince saved my life…the Spectrum where I not only saw my first hockey game but saw my first concert and, yes, Van Halen at least six times…the Pitman apartment…Evesham Skating Center…Down on Mainstreet…Spuds and Suds…Veteran's Stadium where Nana took me to my first two Phillies games with her old lady's group…to the late Frank Centrione who gave me two summers of awesome memories with Sam Casella…to St. Joseph's Elementary…to the Joe Louis Arena where I saw my first Flyer's game out of Philly and to the 50% of their fans who wore Eric Lindros sweaters…to Aunt Kathy's house that showed me there was hope and love when I thought neither existed…to Underwood Hospital for not only stitching me up more times than I can count but for also helping bring three of the most beautiful gifts into the world…to the football field at Lamb's Road Church and the Sunday Slaughter that was only bested by the Friday and Saturday night get togethers…

 

To those friends who made this life so special, I send you love for the great times I can look back on (pardon for the maiden names). To John and Derek who tolerated me in my presence as well as in my long-term absences and who could see right through me…to Cliff Henderson who not only schooled me about Hall and Oates but who also had the best video store in town… to Mike Parker who helped me up after a beat down in Salem…to Frank Durso who was always there with a ride and a wit and who always was looked for a remedy for being thin (silly as that sounds) as well as for a way for a Chevy to beat a Mustang…to Terry Fisher for trying to understand a mind gone haywire and for forgiving (usually) I am not sure I can ever repay you…to Jeanine Bilderback for being a great friend in a time when I felt so alone in the world…to Kristy Pace who not only exposed me to a new way of thinking but challenged me to think (as well as for getting me to the Joe)…to Robbie Hopkins for being so nice and sweet and giving and to exposing me to her friends who were just like her…to Aunt Kathy who I love with all of my heart who knows…to Chuck Coverly who was my first best friend and will be always there…to Vince Coates who saved my life in so many ways and provided me an escape from hell every once in a while…to Debbie Kidd who gave me a place of refuge on so many levels so many times… to Sister Assumpta who I still cherish in my heart … to Dave and Kristin Fritz who are just too awesome for words...to Steve Bobo and the officers of 6-6 who make that place such a joy to volunteer for...

 

To my father who I lost as a young boy and have found again as a man…to my mother and stepfather who raised me and provided me experiences that would allow me perspective Now…to my sister who shared with me some hell and I hope will share with me some heaven…to my in-laws who are my parents in heart and mind and who have showed me so many things in such a short period of time…to my niece and nephews who have so much to offer the world the future looks that much brighter…

  
To my children who found me lost and gave me some light to head to and to my wife Veronica who has softened me with the tough love I needed and gave me a mirror to which I could see myself; she has seen the worst of me and the best of me and still has decided I am worth the effort…

 

I love you all.

 

I may add to this list from time to time as memory allows. I send this out in the hopes that we all can share in a special memory and/or a special place in our hearts. If the smiles and warmth I have felt in my heart from the gift of memory you have provided me in this moment can be shared then what a special gift it is indeed.

As for now I leave with some lyrics from a Pearl Jam song called "Just Breathe":

Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh

Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..
Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You're all I see.

Peace.

Her in all My Glory

I have heard the sweet whispers mellow in my ear.  She calms me, softens me, smooths me out for the time Being.  I can feel Her presence surround me, catering to my whims and desires while allowing in me that higher vision of my Self.  I can nearly touch Her as I reach for Her but there is no form for me to grasp.  I let go and let God, and She softly caresses my soul and surrounds me with light.


I beg of Her to reveal Herself to me and instantly I know Her reply.  She already has; She has never hidden from me.  She was there the moment I was born and in the moments before I ate of the apple; nurturing, caring, providing for all I need.  I have put veils between us, cautiously constructing walls to climb and layers to peel.  I have hidden Her from view with the tears of attachment and the betrayal of that attachment from what is.  I have carefully constructed flags and idols to hide Her from view.  I have heard Her speak and dismissed it as the wind; I have heard Her sing and dismissed it as my imagination.  Yet still She remained with me through the blurred vision of eyes gone to suffering, wiping away the blindness from my eyes.  She was there to wipe the dust from my face as I ran from what I was toward what I wanted to be.  She was there to comfort as my dreams stole attention away from Her and there when the dreams became nightmares in their failure.  Through the mud, snow and sunshine we have walked together, a journey that was to take me to what is and what I am.  Never judging me She was just there, comforting, singing, whispering in the hopes that I would see and hear while never wishing me ill in my failure.


Now I sit in stillness, Her glow tempting me for the attempt at grasping, my focus resolved in allowing this to be without interfering.  I hear Her sweet whispers in my ear, "My Son, you will arrive one day.  This moment when you are Love and no thing else shall be your eternity."  I let Her go and in the process become one with All That Is.  In focusing just on Her I lose sight of what Is, and in the letting go of Her I can see all that She is not.  It all blurs into One, and for that moment I can feel Her through it all.  I am Love, I am this moment, I am...


Peace.

I give thanks to those moments of suffering that have given me this moment just as I equally give thanks to those moments of joy that allow suffering to be.  The veils and obstacles I have built in my life through the egoic possession of my mind to what I want and what I think I am.   I need not hold on to "dreams" or visions of what I seek to be; rather I can let them go and let God.  I need not pass judgment on others based on what I know or think them to be.  I simply am as they are.  In equal parts I can let go of who I think they are as I let go of who I think I am.

The Tao that can be expressed is not the eternal Tao; The name that can be defined is not the unchanging name.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Salvation

In my experience, salvation is not saving one from who he is, but rather in being free from the attachment to who we think we are or aren't.


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

"I am"

"I am".  I have no need to prove what I am to that which I am.  I only need prove what I am to that which I do not believe I am...hence the separation that ego creates so that you can experience what you are through the knowledge of what you are NOT.


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Embracing a higher vision

The process of experience brings me to this moment.  I give thanks.

As we develop the relationship with our higher selves it becomes very clear that there are two very distinct "selves" that we interact with.  There is the "lower" self, characterized by ego and personified as Satan in the Bible and Mara in Buddhism, Kali in Hinduism, and Shaitan in Islam.  We are often drawn to belief that this lower self dwells outside of us, and tend to separate it from us in this personification.  There is also the "higher" self characterized by love, compassion, peace and harmony.  We have personified this higher self and called it "God" in most faiths.  We also attempt to separate the personification from our selves.

The mechanism for either attempts at separation for either higher or lower selves is a function of ego.  By understanding that we these are not separate from us, we can understand the power we have in creating the conditions through focus on either one.  Once we take the responsibility for our actions, we understand this power we have and can then begin creation anew in line with what we seek.

When we are "possessed" by Satan or any of these characters, we are actually possessed by our own egos through the embracing of the lower self.  We have embraced the lower self in this manner, so in effect it is not actually possessing us as we are possessing it.  Yet, the attraction consumes us and we enjoy the experience we are meant to have in this relationship.

When we embrace our "higher" self, the action is similar although opposite to when we embrace our lower selves.  We act in accordance with that higher self, and manifest love, compassion, peace and harmony.  This attraction consumes us and we enjoy the experience we are meant to have in this relationship. 

It is important to note that, for reasons that will be explained, we should not be judging one as "bad" or "good", "worse" or "better".  They just are necessary to the experience that is our purpose and perfect because each allows the other to be.  We create the experience we wish to have through choice.  We can choose to be in line with our lower selves or higher selves at any time and in this way we are the Creator of all things.  We should also not judge which choice others have made for we can only create what is in ourselves, not what is in others.  It is also important to note that we should not be attached to the outcomes of either choice we make but rather enjoy the moments these experience provide.

From here on I would like to speak from a personal place that may not be universal for everyone.  It may be unique to me or not, but it is what I know through the sum of my experiences that have led to this moment.  As a result, I wish to speak for my quest to embrace that vision I have of higher self and to live in harmony of the vision.

I meditating on this, I came to realize that I once spent my life in rejection.  I rejected everything, from love to hate, from peace to violence, from truth to lies.  In this meditative review, it became quite apparent to me that when we come from a place of rejection, that is when we "reject" that which we do not wish to have, we actually attract it.  For me, in rejecting the lower self manifestations like cheating, lying, stealing, coveting, hating, and fighting  I am actually attracting them because they are part of my consciousness.  I give them power over me because they become my focus even if that focus is on the rejection of them.

An example of this would be what I was taught as a practicing Catholic.  I was taught about the rejection of Satan, that is rejection of the lower self.  In the practice of rejection, we reject those physical manifestations of the lower self which does, in effect, give those manifestations a power over us.  The rejection of them becomes the focus, so in effect they become the focus.  This practices gives Satan, or that personification of the lower self, power.  Otherwise, Satan does not exist.

Today, I don't reject much of anything, let alone Satan.  I can see the folly of this, the giving of power to something that simply would not exist had we simply not given it power.  What I do is embrace that which I envision as my higher self.  So rather than rejecting lying, I embrace the truth.  Rather than rejecting violence, I embrace peace.  Rather than rejecting cheating, I embrace honesty.  In this way, I can focus on the higher self, and give it power.  You simply cannot give something power by rejecting its opposite, in fact you eliminate or reduce the power that which you are seeking has when you only focus on its opposite.  Proof of this resides in my present moment, where I don't see lying, or evil, or bad in my life.  I only see love, harmony, and peace.  I know both, and have experienced both, so can speak from this perspective of experience without the supposition that many without such experience need to employ.  For that, I see all of these experiences as necessary and perfect.

Finally, I would like to offer a "real-world" experience that speaks to this point that I believe we can all relate to.  I will use an example from "Desperate Housewives" that I would like to say my wife forces me to watch (which is a joke of course).  Pardon me for sounding like one of the girls catching you up on "our shows", but it does speak to this dynamic quite well.

On last week's episode, Roy Bender is "forced" to ask Mrs. (Karen) McCluskey to marry him by Susan, as well as "forced" by his doctor to give up salt.  Roy is a little miffed at Susan, and basically says to her (and I will paraphrase here):

"You ruined everything.  We had a good thing going here and you ruined it.  It is like salt.  I never gave salt one moment's thought until I was told I couldn't have it.  Then I wanted it more than anything.  Today, I sat behind a blue-haired old lady who I have seen a million times without giving her a second thought.  Now all I can do is think about her because I am getting married and will never be able to have her."  He then proceeds to plant a kiss on Susan's lips as a testament to where his focus is.

How many of us have experienced this on some level?  I would imagine most if not all of us.  It isn't so much that we want what we can't have as much as it is we want where our focus is.  Not being able to have something, that is having to reject it, gives it our focus and a power over us that it didn't have before this focus was drawn to it.  It is no different when we reject our lower selves.  Now for the rest of the story.

Later in the episode Susan is told by Karen that she has a shadow on her lung that may be cancerous.  Susan runs into Roy who has had a complete change of heart.  He explains (again paraphrasing) that he realized how much he loved her and that she was all he wanted.

This shows a shift in focus.  Rather than rejecting others because of his love for Karen, he embraced the love he had for her.  In this shifting of focus, the embracing of higher self (love) manifested love that is not possible in the practice of rejection.  It was all a matter embracing over rejecting, and the result was harmony.

I have done the same in embracing being a vegan.  I have not rejected meat and dairy, I have embraced a plant-based diet.  In this way I don't desire meat or dairy at all, but love the food I eat and the choice I have made.  I don't think about meat or dairy at all actually because my focus is on the choice I have made, not the choice I have rejected.  I often wonder if this same methodology employed in the addictions like drug use and smoking would make the change that much more likely to be.  I have used this method for many of my "addictions", and know it works for me.

Again, I would suspect that we could all point to an experience that bears this out.  That is something that we could all meditate on at a personal level and expand on depending on which vision of self you choose to focus on.




©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Matthew 25:32-46

Matthew 25:32-46 (New American Standard Bible)

32"All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats;

33and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.

34"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

35'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;

36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?

38'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?

39'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'

40"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'

41"Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels;

42for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink;

43I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.'

44"Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?'

45"Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.'

46"These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

When I first read this part of the New Testament, I was under the guidance of a nun in Catholic school. To me, in my youthful exuberance of not knowing, this seemed to suggest such a mystical view of the world from a place most of get to see. The moral of the story to those entrusted with my religious education was simple: act like Jesus and show compassion and caring toward the world and you go to heaven. Act like the goat and go to hell.

 

At that time, I simply accepted that the moral of this story was that simple. Yet, there was something inside of me that begged to see it as more, to understand the story as well as the meaning from the perspective of the one who was telling the story. As I thought about it (a process that continues to this day), I wanted to understand what this would mean to someone who truly sees the universe for what it is in its suffering and in the condition we as humans Being have created within that universe.

Today, after enjoying nearly 30 years of experience since that lesson, I can see this from a perspective that I could not see as a young boy without that experience. The whole analogy makes perfect sense where before something did not sit right between what I felt and what I knew. Allow me to explain.

 

In this existence there are two types of people having their experience at any given time. On the one side, there are the sheep. They live a life of acceptance and purpose completely in harmony with the Love that created them. In this harmony they offer compassion to the world around them, they give to the world without judgment. In this harmony they experience the bliss of Love, and in doing so inherit the Kingdom that was prepared for them from the foundation of the world. That foundation, of course, is Love.

 

The other type of person is the goat. The goat lives a life of ego, always striving to get more. They are so entangled in their quest for more and better that they do not have the time to show the world true compassion. They do not give of themselves to others, and they judge others from this perspective of ego. They are attached not only to the quest for things, but also to the things themselves. The result of these attachments is suffering, and in this suffering they cannot inherit the Kingdom. It isn't that they aren't worthy; it is simply a consequence of their lust devouring their attention from Love.

 

To me, it is that simple. There are no magical equations which you need to follow, no religion you need protest faith to in order to overcome this condition. The act of repentance is all that is needed. Now let me clarify. Repentance is not the simple act of asking for and receiving forgiveness. It is the recognition of the cause of your suffering, and the actions necessary to eliminate those causes from your existence. Saying "I am sorry" and having the person you offended replying, "You are forgiven" is NOT repentance. You need not seek forgiveness for the suffering you cause in others because you cannot cause suffering in others. They are the cause of their own suffering. What you can do is forgive yourself for the suffering you caused yourself (which is very likely the cause of suffering attributed to you in others) and remedy the cause of your suffering. You have then repented acting in complete harmony with Love, and in this action find the Kingdom of God is very near.

 

The amazing thing about this process is that while you may reduce or eliminate suffering in your own life that is not an automatic guarantee that you will eliminate it in those whose lives you touch. In fact, your own detachment from the things that cause suffering may very well cause suffering in others. This seems hardly possible, but those who are inflicted with the illness of ego will lash out at you for not sharing their affliction. Their egos see you as a threat to their cause, and react as any threatened animal would. These people will lash out, condemn you, and "kill" you or find varying degrees of punishment between.

 

As I share with you what I see in the passion of Jesus before and during his execution later, I believe you will see a great example of harmony with Love. As the story goes, Jesus accepted the "cup" but did not waver in his Love for those who so blindly and brutally inflicted their egos on him. This example is one that is a true litmus test for our own harmony with Love just as all great spiritual practices the world over provide. Could you forgive those who were brutalizing you even at the moment of impact? Such Love cannot be overlooked as extraordinary, it must be seen as something we should strive to make very ordinary.

 

I would also like to offer a perspective on the "heaven" and "hell" mentioned here. As we will dive into later, the way I was taught Heaven and Hell never seemed right to me either. The idea that there was some place my soul would be sent depending on what my mind and body did simply made little sense to me. I began to wonder, "What is paradise and what is suffering to a soul that seemed to feel neither". Anyway, as mentioned I discuss this later but in the context of this story we see the parallels that could be easily drawn. As we act in a way that either makes us sheep or goats, there is always something called "consequence". To the person who is being the sheep, that harmony with Love experience creates a state of Bliss. That Bliss, the state of grace created by the harmony we have with Love, is Heaven. It is the natural state of our soul, which is Love, experiencing itself in the presence of what it is not.

 

Hell, on the other hand, is the consequence of acting in accordance with ego much in the way the goats did in this story. The suffering, the pain, the anguish, the rage are all part of the consequence of those out of harmony with Love. Hell is the price you pay for living in ego, the results of attachments both made and completed in a world of things. It has been my experience (one that is ongoing even as I write this chapter) that one reason giving is a way out of this Hell is because is proves a detachment to things. You can only give what you do not have an attachment to and not suffer. Even as you give away that which you love you still suffer in the beautiful act of giving. You are still in Hell even though you are acting in accordance with Love because the attachment itself, not the things you are attached to, is the cause for this consequence. Things are not the issue, wealth is not evil, rather the attachment to it promotes an unhealthy relationship out of harmony with Love. It is not some great act of love to give away that which you are attached to, but rather a great act of love to not be attached in the first place.

 

In my experience, I have learned (and still continue to learn) to not love things. Sure, I enjoy playing with gadgets, getting stuff as fruits of my labors. Yet I am increasingly becoming detached from these things, as if I am saying "sure, I have them, but they don't mean anything." Yet, I find suffering in the loss of some things I have, or are not willing to part with others. This is my condition because I recognize I am not perfect, and this condition is not bad…it will just come with a consequence.

 

That is the one thing I take from nearly every experience I have: there is no such thing as "bad" except that which is judged by our egos. When I see something as bad, I realize immediately (or pretty darn close to it) that it is my ego talking. I then seek to watch the ego instead of become the ego. My mind can create anything as bad or good depending on its perspective at the moment, but Love simply sees it as what it is. As something occurs, my ego immediately determines the level of threat it feels and instructs the mind to create in it either good, bad or indifferent. My soul, my level of Being Love, just sees it. It is an experience to the soul, nothing more. To our Beings, everything our ego-minds judge as good or bad is necessary for the experience it seeks. Heaven and Hell are consequences our ego-minds must face as a result of our actions. As Love, our souls simply experience this consequence as necessary. This lack of judgment seems to be pointed out in the sentence "I was in prison and you came to Me." Jesus seems to suggest here that he would be in prison just as a criminal would. This would also suggest that there is no judgment, no need for the rendering of punishment beyond what man deems necessary as consequence. When you are without judgment, someone in prison certainly is no more or less in need of your compassion and Love as is anyone else.

 

That leads me to a final point. I have wondered about the use of the word "eternal" in this story. It would seem to suggest that during this judgment we are doomed to an eternity of either Heaven or Hell. It does seem to make sense to me deep within me. Forgiveness seems to be the staple of Jesus' message in the New Testament. Yet it would seem that this story would not provide for forgiveness. The contradiction rattled me for some time since it simply seemed to suggest that there would be a time when God and/or Jesus would no longer forgive, and an eternity of pain would be the consequence. This notion just did not sit well with what I felt to be right.

 

It dawned on me one day that eternity did not mean forever. Since our souls cannot suffer nor know time, what would be meant by eternity in this case? No, I did not investigate the translation of eternity, nor did I go to the original text for evidence of some truth. Rather, I just did what I always do when questions like this come up; I searched in the Word of God within me. It came to me suddenly one day as I was reading this passage and meditating on every line.

 

Eternity is the moment. At the very moment of consequence you are spending the eternity of that moment in Heaven or Hell. There is nothing beyond that moment, the present moment. The past does not exist within it, nor does the future. It is all that is or ever will be. It is eternity. Every action you are either being a sheep in harmony with Love or a goat in line with ego sure to experience the consequence provided you by that experience. As you experience the consequence in the now, you are either in heaven or you are in hell and you are in that condition for the eternity we call the present moment.

 

This life's experience is a choice and a consequence for that choice all for the experience.

 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥
ツ

Human suffering

For in every moment of human suffering is found an opportunity to rise above it.

Haiti Earthquake Aftermath Montage from Khalid Mohtaseb on Vimeo.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I’d Rather Walk in Hell

I've whittled time to its sharpest edge,

And cut myself to the bone,

I've seen the scars from where you've bled,

It's no wonder I'm alone.

 

I've felt the sting of anger's vent,

That I never meant to share,

You've turned, you've cried, you've walked away,

I guess it's only fair.

 

If you could see me now my dear,

I would be your destiny,

Instead you're blind with memories,

So you waste the best of me.

 

There is no hand to reach for mine,

No subtle, loving touch,

Instead there is just bitterness,

As if loving is too much.

 

I bid you dear to set me free,

And I will bid you well,

For if you cannot love me now,

I'd rather walk in Hell.

 

The Path Less Traveled

I walk...I meditate...I meld into everything around me as if it is all One.

With the sun rising on my face and the snow crumbling under my feet I walk.  I experience the calmness of this moment through the change my feet are creating through the destruction of my step.  I can feel the silence through the sound of snow crunching with each moment.  I can sense the warmth of the sun through the chill of this winter's morn.  It is all part of One, it is all perfect.

The path I took to these moments was clear.  Snow plows had cut a path to the walking/jogging paths adjacent to a local recreation park.  The walk was brisk but a bit icy until the moment it came to to take the paved walking paths.  Today, those paths were covered with anywhere from 4-6 inches of snow.

I had a choice here.  I could walk the path not traveled since the 28 inches of snow fell a few days ago, or I could walk a path cleared for me by others.  As I examined both choices, I realized that this was a metaphor for my life and the observations I have of the lives around me.  On one side there is the path relatively smooth, cleared by the hands of others that would require minimal effort to traverse, and on the other side a path whose very essence was an obstacle.  I could not know how deep the snow would get as each moment (step) passed, or if there would be ice to stumble on, or frankly what laid before me in the smoothness of the snow that spanned as far as I could see.  On one path there was the illusion of safety and security and on the other the illusion of danger in the unknown.  Yet both were illusions that would allow me to have the experience I wished to have.

As I took my first steps in the deep snow, I readily accepted the labor involved in as each step passed.  I barely noticed the cars as they sped by on the relatively clear roadway.  Their sound became part of the nature that surrounded me, barely detectable above the rush of wind through the trees I walked next to.  I could feel the sun beginning to crest over the horizon behind me, and it seemed that nature itself was taking her cue from the sun about to bid it "good morning".  The birds came alive in song, the squirrels began their daily activities, and it seemed that even dogs began barking in unison with life around me.  It all was so perfect.

A feeling came over me at some point in this meditation.  I realized that acceptance was the key to this moment of joy.  I wondered about our society, this illusion of "we" created by our minds for the human need of companionship, acceptance and yes, confrontation.  Had I become a metaphor for this "society"?  Was I so attached to the ideal of comfort that the very idea of discomfort became bad?  Was I so attached to the desire for love that the very idea of being myself had become foreign to me?  Had I become so attached to my ideas of "right" and "wrong", those very illusions created by me in order to judge myself and others, that I was unwilling to just let others "be" in who they were in their own dream?

Perhaps why I made the choice to walk the harder path at that moment.  I sought to be outside that which I considered "comfortable" or "safe".  Perhaps I have the notion of "comfort" and "safe" so that I can have the experience I am having now, the moments of discomfort and insecurity.  Perhaps the reason I have either (or both) experience is so that I can realize that the experience itself is nothing more than an illusion, that I am no more ensured security in my bed at night than I am on a rickety bridge above a bottomless pit.  I am ensured nothing except the experience this life offers, for life itself is nothing more than a continual loop of varying experiences the purpose of which is to nurture the soul.

In a passing moment of fancy I wondered whether I would have made it to this moment had I chosen what seemed like the "safer" path.  I realize that thoughts like this are meaningless except in providing proof of their meaninglessness.  Yet, there is some validity to this thought if only to say that we must accept this moment as all we will ever have, as all that we are ever promised, and to enjoy the experience of this moment in all of its glory.  To this I open my heart to this moment, and give thanks to It for the experience it has created, and that this ability to dream beyond what I am.

Namaste




©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

The Idea of Loving Relationships We All Hate to Have

It can be such a weird reality sometimes.  I have to say that I find inspiration in some of the most unusual places and have come to realize that I just never know when or where such movement of spirit will happen.  I guess I have learned to just take it as it comes and to appreciate the movement as it occurs.  Such appreciation is as fleeting as the movement itself, and nothing becomes more apparent then the futility of grasping such outward signs of love then when I find myself in the contented state of my inspired mind.

I was fortunate to be reading a friend's posting on relationships, and in understanding the recent loss she had one could easily see the outward expressions of pain and the resulting eagerness she had to overcome the suffering her attachment to another created.  The ego works in crazy ways in this instant, with the action of blaming the other for her own suffering followed by the ignoring of the reaction she was having to the suffering followed by the pretense of indifference at the loss itself.  This observation got me wondering, what is this idea we have created about relationships and how does this idea correspond to the human condition?  This rather boring discussion I have been having with myself asks to be shared with others for reasons why I have not discovered (or created) yet.

I begin looking at this dynamic not in the dualistic way most of us see things, but through the eyes of a Being who sees things in three "dimensions".  Utilizing this triad, one can see clearly the advent of suffering in one's life.  We create the conditions by which we suffer in our attachment to something that is not real.  We create everything in our lives, from conditions that allow love or hate, joy or sadness, misery or happiness.  I don't see us actually creating misery for example, I see us as knowing misery and then creating the conditions by which we experience misery.  The same can be said of any physical or mental reaction we have in this existence.

Since we create these conditions, we are the Creator.  In my remembrance of "Who I am", I see me as the Creator experiencing Himself by knowing what I am not.  In order to experience happiness, I must first know sadness.  In order to experience misery, I must first know joy.  In order to experience Heaven I must first know Hell.  In order to experience Enlightenment I must first know suffering.  Now, I remember this quite clearly and my spirit tells me this is truth each time I am inspired while expanding on this truth with the realization that none of this is "bad".  Sadness is not bad, happiness is not good.  Both are equally important to the spiritual being having the most human of experiences, which is our purpose in the first place.  Without the necessary sadness I could not have the purpose of experiencing either the sadness or the joy.  Therefore, that sadness is just as good as the happiness to the spirit, regardless of what the ego tells me is real.

This may appear to be a very dualistic approach, but I can't see it that way as I study it in the very three dimensional way my spirit exists.  In approaching this in a manner of spirit, I see that three distinct areas exist in any human experience the spirit may have.  The spirit has no choice but to live in this "world of three", for without that world (what we call the universe), the spirit cannot experience itself.  The three areas are: Creator, Creation, Experience.  Father, Son, Holy Spirit.  That Which Gives Rise To , That Which is Risen, That Which Is.  These three things, in whichever way you wish to describe them, exists in order the the Creator to experience Itself (creation) through Experience.  Experience is what exists as a condition of creation.  While this is not a new approach or definition, it is the way my spirit speaks to me when I am willing and able to listen.

In this idea we have called "relationships" it is important to note that I am speaking specifically about the human relationships we call "love", but are really nothing of the sort for most of us.  For most of us, "loving relationships" are creations of our mind.  Our minds create the condition of "love" and the relationship is born.  Now of course this is not real love, we attach conditions to the condition by which we must continue in this relationship.  Each of us must be faithful, kind, considerate, truthful, and whatever other conditions we may place on each other in order for the relationship to qualify as "loving".  We know deep down somewhere that True Love does not place such conditions on anything, in fact the act of being in True Love eliminates any conditions and therefore is not a condition unto itself.  Rather, our creation of the condition we call a "loving relationship" is very egoic in nature, so is never very permanent even in its longest durations.  Imagine the peace and harmony you would feel if you could just relinquish your demands for the existence of conditions you have placed on the loving relationship your ego created.  Imagine the lack of suffering you would entertain not only upon yourself, but on the one you believe you love.

Impossible, I know.  You could not tolerate a cheating partner.  You could not tolerate lies.  You could not tolerate the other person being who they are at that moment if that person did not fit your mold of an ideal partner.  You create in your relationship the necessary quid pro quo that all egoic relationship have.  You need something from them in order to give something of yourself or else the result is suffering and the experience of misery for both of you.  The other person suffers for having to pretend, you suffer for having created the condition by which pretending is necessary.  The roles we play are the swords we live by, and those of us who live by the sword will surely die from it.  Only True Love can heal the wounds that sword will surely inflict one day.

One must understand that all of this is necessary and therefore is not bad.  It is PERFECT.  The real question here is whether or not this experience will lead you to a better understanding of why you had it in the first place and of who you are.  That is the purpose of experience and of this illusion we call reality, so that you may determine who you are and find harmony in the existence you can create with this higher vision of yourself.  Life is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation, and as we create our existence each time around, we are allowed unique insight and access to the voice within that is our guide.  The question is, are we looking and are we willing to listen?

I guess the idea of loving relationships is one we all hate to have.  They are painful at times.  Most of them end up hurting us in the most profound ways.  Yet each of these are opportunities for exploration and further creation.  The cycle of creation never ends; it begins in Love, exists in Love, and destroys itself in Love so that it can create anew.  You have created the condition of love from your spirit (Pure Love) so that you can have this great experience we call "life".  It is the very act of in-spiraton.  Embrace it all, enjoy each moment, and find that glimpse of awareness that is born from the experience itself.  It is your purpose, and to that end there can be no higher.


©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ