My wife and I got into a discussion about the use of electronics by our children, ostensibly due to my youngest daughter's upcoming birthday and my desire to buy her an iPod touch. Well, not actually what "old timers" would call a discussion, we were texting each other from about 45 miles away, which is very ironic given the topic. Veronica was against the idea, understandably given what is going on with kids and electronics in the world today. It seems wherever you go you can see a young child or teen with some form of electronics (sometimes running into walls while walking), and it is easy to see why any parent would be reluctant to introduce such mind-numbing distractions. Not to mention the costs of getting that broken nose fixed, most people today are oblivious to the world around them when using electronics, with rubbernecking at an accident on the highway replaced with texting about it and good sound family discussion being replaced with texting and an occasional grunt when asked "how was your day dear?" So I get it. How on earth could any parent buy their 6-year old an electronic device that captures their attention better than any explosion could?
Yet, how can you not?
My goal here was not to gift a device that would be used as a new-age version of a pacifier. It would not be turned over to my 6-year old with the intention of allowing it to absorb her mind like the sponge we have seen so often. It would not be to hand it to her at dinner so she could ignore her family. It would not be used in a way that would allow her to miss the world between points A and points B. It would not be used in place of good, sound parenting to teach the boundaries of living in our society. Rather, I see it as a way to teach exactly all of those things and allow good parenting to occur. When I see a person of any age (myself included) so engrossed in their electronic device that they cannot tell you what they had for dinner five minutes ago it does cause the cursory shaking of my head. When I see an man across the restaurant texting away while his wife is telling him about her day only to realize that the "man" is a mirror I completely understand where my wife is coming from. When I see a kid so engrossed in a video game at the dinner table that she can't even eat her dinner I get it. Hold on a second...
...what did you say dear? Sorry, I was typing on my computer. Sweetie, you there? I guess she'll text me.
Anyway, my goal in getting the iPod touch was multifarious (a fancy word I learned on my computer). First, I think she would love the games I put on it. Second, a kid today without a great working knowledge of modern electronics can't set up my home entertainment system for free, which is a travesty in any household (of course the trick would be getting them away from their games long enough to do the work). Third, it would allow us to parent her and teach her boundaries when using the iPod, something that was certainly not available to us considering my parents would still view pocket calculators as "those new fangled contraptions". What I see in kids and adults today isn't the fault of the technology, but the fault of parents or of those who are responsible to teach boundaries. You know, boundaries? "Don't put your hand on the stove Michael", or "Don't climb on the table Gianna", or "Tom, blah blah blah blah" (I am, after all, still typing on my computer). It isn't the kid's or the technology's fault when that kid is handed a video game at dinner and allowed to play with it throughout the entire dinner without ever coming up for air. It isn't the kid's fault that you have to call them 50 times because they can't hear anything but the beeps coming from the screen. It isn't the kid's fault that they miss the entire world around them because the are trying to get Mario to a new universe. It isn't the kids fault he loves to write on his computer (I think I just heard something about the need to evacuate...nah, that must have been the PS3 game going on in the living room).
The fault lies solely on the shoulders of those whose job it is to be parents. It's the fact that we aren't teaching and that we aren't parenting that causes kids to walk into walls. So, my fear is that when my daughter gets to the age my wife deems appropriate for such games, she will not have the necessary skills to put the damn thing down to enjoy what matters (or to learn that getting to Level 1,000,443 does not) nor the knowledge that what those around her are trying to say is more important that Mario jumping to an alternative universe. I can almost hear the arguments now between two stubborn females...one not understanding the beauty of the game and the other not understanding the beauty of the world around her as the veil of Nintendo cascades down upon the world she used to see. So I believe we teach her now so that when the veil does come down around her she can easily blow it to one side to see beyond it, even if Micheal and I would certainly get a kick out of the "female" discussion. I guess the question still is in me that wasn't really addressed in the discussion (I reread the texts and I am SURE it wasn't). How can we teach her the place this technology should have in her life if we don't get her the technology and introduce it into her life? If we don't, she will only learn from the examples of her peers, something that scares me more than any iPod ever will.
The man in the mirror is laughing at me right now. Damn him and his judgmental ways. I had better go now before my wife unplugs the compu...
The views expressed here are not indicative of any one person or set of events. Any resemblance to real events is either coincidental or simply in your own mind. Get over it, if this angers you, you probably need to talk to the person in the mirror. ALWAYS READ THE FINE PRINT!!
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Idea of Loving Relationships We All Hate to Have
It can be such a weird reality sometimes. I have to say that I find inspiration in some of the most unusual places and have come to realize that I just never know when or where such movement of spirit will happen. I guess I have learned to just take it as it comes and to appreciate the movement as it occurs. Such appreciation is as fleeting as the movement itself, and nothing becomes more apparent then the futility of grasping such outward signs of love then when I find myself in the contented state of my inspired mind.
I was fortunate to be reading a friend's posting on relationships, and in understanding the recent loss she had one could easily see the outward expressions of pain and the resulting eagerness she had to overcome the suffering her attachment to another created. The ego works in crazy ways in this instant, with the action of blaming the other for her own suffering followed by the ignoring of the reaction she was having to the suffering followed by the pretense of indifference at the loss itself. This observation got me wondering, what is this idea we have created about relationships and how does this idea correspond to the human condition? This rather boring discussion I have been having with myself asks to be shared with others for reasons why I have not discovered (or created) yet.
I begin looking at this dynamic not in the dualistic way most of us see things, but through the eyes of a Being who sees things in three "dimensions". Utilizing this triad, one can see clearly the advent of suffering in one's life. We create the conditions by which we suffer in our attachment to something that is not real. We create everything in our lives, from conditions that allow love or hate, joy or sadness, misery or happiness. I don't see us actually creating misery for example, I see us as knowing misery and then creating the conditions by which we experience misery. The same can be said of any physical or mental reaction we have in this existence.
Since we create these conditions, we are the Creator. In my remembrance of "Who I am", I see me as the Creator experiencing Himself by knowing what I am not. In order to experience happiness, I must first know sadness. In order to experience misery, I must first know joy. In order to experience Heaven I must first know Hell. In order to experience Enlightenment I must first know suffering. Now, I remember this quite clearly and my spirit tells me this is truth each time I am inspired while expanding on this truth with the realization that none of this is "bad". Sadness is not bad, happiness is not good. Both are equally important to the spiritual being having the most human of experiences, which is our purpose in the first place. Without the necessary sadness I could not have the purpose of experiencing either the sadness or the joy. Therefore, that sadness is just as good as the happiness to the spirit, regardless of what the ego tells me is real.
This may appear to be a very dualistic approach, but I can't see it that way as I study it in the very three dimensional way my spirit exists. In approaching this in a manner of spirit, I see that three distinct areas exist in any human experience the spirit may have. The spirit has no choice but to live in this "world of three", for without that world (what we call the universe), the spirit cannot experience itself. The three areas are: Creator, Creation, Experience. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. That Which Gives Rise To , That Which is Risen, That Which Is. These three things, in whichever way you wish to describe them, exists in order the the Creator to experience Itself (creation) through Experience. Experience is what exists as a condition of creation. While this is not a new approach or definition, it is the way my spirit speaks to me when I am willing and able to listen.
In this idea we have called "relationships" it is important to note that I am speaking specifically about the human relationships we call "love", but are really nothing of the sort for most of us. For most of us, "loving relationships" are creations of our mind. Our minds create the condition of "love" and the relationship is born. Now of course this is not real love, we attach conditions to the condition by which we must continue in this relationship. Each of us must be faithful, kind, considerate, truthful, and whatever other conditions we may place on each other in order for the relationship to qualify as "loving". We know deep down somewhere that True Love does not place such conditions on anything, in fact the act of being in True Love eliminates any conditions and therefore is not a condition unto itself. Rather, our creation of the condition we call a "loving relationship" is very egoic in nature, so is never very permanent even in its longest durations. Imagine the peace and harmony you would feel if you could just relinquish your demands for the existence of conditions you have placed on the loving relationship your ego created. Imagine the lack of suffering you would entertain not only upon yourself, but on the one you believe you love.
Impossible, I know. You could not tolerate a cheating partner. You could not tolerate lies. You could not tolerate the other person being who they are at that moment if that person did not fit your mold of an ideal partner. You create in your relationship the necessary quid pro quo that all egoic relationship have. You need something from them in order to give something of yourself or else the result is suffering and the experience of misery for both of you. The other person suffers for having to pretend, you suffer for having created the condition by which pretending is necessary. The roles we play are the swords we live by, and those of us who live by the sword will surely die from it. Only True Love can heal the wounds that sword will surely inflict one day.
One must understand that all of this is necessary and therefore is not bad. It is PERFECT. The real question here is whether or not this experience will lead you to a better understanding of why you had it in the first place and of who you are. That is the purpose of experience and of this illusion we call reality, so that you may determine who you are and find harmony in the existence you can create with this higher vision of yourself. Life is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation, and as we create our existence each time around, we are allowed unique insight and access to the voice within that is our guide. The question is, are we looking and are we willing to listen?
I guess the idea of loving relationships is one we all hate to have. They are painful at times. Most of them end up hurting us in the most profound ways. Yet each of these are opportunities for exploration and further creation. The cycle of creation never ends; it begins in Love, exists in Love, and destroys itself in Love so that it can create anew. You have created the condition of love from your spirit (Pure Love) so that you can have this great experience we call "life". It is the very act of in-spiraton. Embrace it all, enjoy each moment, and find that glimpse of awareness that is born from the experience itself. It is your purpose, and to that end there can be no higher.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ
I was fortunate to be reading a friend's posting on relationships, and in understanding the recent loss she had one could easily see the outward expressions of pain and the resulting eagerness she had to overcome the suffering her attachment to another created. The ego works in crazy ways in this instant, with the action of blaming the other for her own suffering followed by the ignoring of the reaction she was having to the suffering followed by the pretense of indifference at the loss itself. This observation got me wondering, what is this idea we have created about relationships and how does this idea correspond to the human condition? This rather boring discussion I have been having with myself asks to be shared with others for reasons why I have not discovered (or created) yet.
I begin looking at this dynamic not in the dualistic way most of us see things, but through the eyes of a Being who sees things in three "dimensions". Utilizing this triad, one can see clearly the advent of suffering in one's life. We create the conditions by which we suffer in our attachment to something that is not real. We create everything in our lives, from conditions that allow love or hate, joy or sadness, misery or happiness. I don't see us actually creating misery for example, I see us as knowing misery and then creating the conditions by which we experience misery. The same can be said of any physical or mental reaction we have in this existence.
Since we create these conditions, we are the Creator. In my remembrance of "Who I am", I see me as the Creator experiencing Himself by knowing what I am not. In order to experience happiness, I must first know sadness. In order to experience misery, I must first know joy. In order to experience Heaven I must first know Hell. In order to experience Enlightenment I must first know suffering. Now, I remember this quite clearly and my spirit tells me this is truth each time I am inspired while expanding on this truth with the realization that none of this is "bad". Sadness is not bad, happiness is not good. Both are equally important to the spiritual being having the most human of experiences, which is our purpose in the first place. Without the necessary sadness I could not have the purpose of experiencing either the sadness or the joy. Therefore, that sadness is just as good as the happiness to the spirit, regardless of what the ego tells me is real.
This may appear to be a very dualistic approach, but I can't see it that way as I study it in the very three dimensional way my spirit exists. In approaching this in a manner of spirit, I see that three distinct areas exist in any human experience the spirit may have. The spirit has no choice but to live in this "world of three", for without that world (what we call the universe), the spirit cannot experience itself. The three areas are: Creator, Creation, Experience. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. That Which Gives Rise To , That Which is Risen, That Which Is. These three things, in whichever way you wish to describe them, exists in order the the Creator to experience Itself (creation) through Experience. Experience is what exists as a condition of creation. While this is not a new approach or definition, it is the way my spirit speaks to me when I am willing and able to listen.
In this idea we have called "relationships" it is important to note that I am speaking specifically about the human relationships we call "love", but are really nothing of the sort for most of us. For most of us, "loving relationships" are creations of our mind. Our minds create the condition of "love" and the relationship is born. Now of course this is not real love, we attach conditions to the condition by which we must continue in this relationship. Each of us must be faithful, kind, considerate, truthful, and whatever other conditions we may place on each other in order for the relationship to qualify as "loving". We know deep down somewhere that True Love does not place such conditions on anything, in fact the act of being in True Love eliminates any conditions and therefore is not a condition unto itself. Rather, our creation of the condition we call a "loving relationship" is very egoic in nature, so is never very permanent even in its longest durations. Imagine the peace and harmony you would feel if you could just relinquish your demands for the existence of conditions you have placed on the loving relationship your ego created. Imagine the lack of suffering you would entertain not only upon yourself, but on the one you believe you love.
Impossible, I know. You could not tolerate a cheating partner. You could not tolerate lies. You could not tolerate the other person being who they are at that moment if that person did not fit your mold of an ideal partner. You create in your relationship the necessary quid pro quo that all egoic relationship have. You need something from them in order to give something of yourself or else the result is suffering and the experience of misery for both of you. The other person suffers for having to pretend, you suffer for having created the condition by which pretending is necessary. The roles we play are the swords we live by, and those of us who live by the sword will surely die from it. Only True Love can heal the wounds that sword will surely inflict one day.
One must understand that all of this is necessary and therefore is not bad. It is PERFECT. The real question here is whether or not this experience will lead you to a better understanding of why you had it in the first place and of who you are. That is the purpose of experience and of this illusion we call reality, so that you may determine who you are and find harmony in the existence you can create with this higher vision of yourself. Life is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation, and as we create our existence each time around, we are allowed unique insight and access to the voice within that is our guide. The question is, are we looking and are we willing to listen?
I guess the idea of loving relationships is one we all hate to have. They are painful at times. Most of them end up hurting us in the most profound ways. Yet each of these are opportunities for exploration and further creation. The cycle of creation never ends; it begins in Love, exists in Love, and destroys itself in Love so that it can create anew. You have created the condition of love from your spirit (Pure Love) so that you can have this great experience we call "life". It is the very act of in-spiraton. Embrace it all, enjoy each moment, and find that glimpse of awareness that is born from the experience itself. It is your purpose, and to that end there can be no higher.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ
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