Love is like an artful masterpiece woven by its Creator into a beautiful tapestry. To seek such a beauty in the arms of another is to overlook the beauty that you your self possess. To be love without a need to have the loving expression of others is to know that only you can be its Creator. Be the artist and allow the world to be your canvas.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Trip Through the Fire
The light from the fire licked slowly on her face, dancing brightly off her eyes and exposing the fragile stillness of her gaze. I looked slowly at her, cautiously as if the very sight of her could be a danger from which there would be no return. I wanted so desperately to have it end in a way that would soothe us both, in a way that could have us both dancing about this fire in pure ecstasy, in pure love.
Such a hope would prove impossible on this night. Her bliss could not be found in my desires, nor mine in hers. One of us would certainly be dancing on this night but at the expense of the joy the other simply could not find. While we had packed lightly for this trip, we carried with us unseen baggage that had accumulated over the years. Even as she vehemently protested that she was not a "hoarder" and that she resented clutter, she certainly hoarded a resentment toward me unlimited by space and undiminished by time. I had done my part in this tragedy as I piled on the pain as one would pile on the charm and in equal delight. I had provided her the cause as she hoarded the effect, and we proved an ample tandem in both pain and pleasure although we shared certainly more in the former than the latter. Such potential wasted by the ignorance of fear and the hoarding of anger had rarely been seen by either, but so stuck on ensuring the grip of both would not resolve we they both to their own demise.
And so it was. Laying around the campfire surrounded by Nature in her glory provided the contrast to the folly of man. As she looked up at me there was a hint of sadness in her beauty compounded by the glistening of teardrops faintly finding their way into her eyes. It became eerily silent at the moment she spoke as if all of the world had paused to hear her voice, as if the universe had ended its purpose but to witness the charm of this woman.
"I just can't do it anymore. I love you but the pain is too great for me to get over." The universe could clearly see, as I could, the trail of tears pouring from her soul. To me, in this reality to which I was steeling myself to survive, these were not tears of sadness as much as they were tears of relief. She had finally found the end to the nightmare and turned the corner to the healing she so richly deserved. My absence would be the healing and this time would be the method by which a beautiful person such as she would end the torture of hoarding that which she had no interest in keeping.
I would be gone.
Such began my trip through the fire, the part of me that suffered in order to burn away fear to find love. This was no ordinary occurrence, it signaled the end of torture for me as well. No more clinging to the final branch of the past "me" that shot out from the sheer cliff of the present moment. So, in her tears I saw relief for her while I felt relief for me. This would be the moment that I would begin suffering anew while finally being able to take comfort in the knowledge that I suffer for the one I love...the Truth...the Way. As her words explaining her position teased the trees that surrounded us, my ears had move on toward the time when I could hear her laugh in delight or moan in ecstasy. My eyes did not see the visage of her sadness but rather saw the smiles of love I once got from her. The fingers that now played with a twig in nervous angst could not feel the stick but rather felt her hand in mine. Ah, such could have been the life we led, the love we shared, the memories we created in a life that neither hoarded nor created such pain that shredded love's potential. So, while I felt pain in the loss of such limitless potential and human understanding that only such companionship could bring, I took solace in the understanding that this moment was the most selfless one of my life.
She reached out to touch my hand, a sign of pity I allowed without reservation. My mind screamed at me to fight back while my heart simply beat to the rhythm she provided. Had this feeling and understanding but come a few years earlier this touch would have been much different. Rather than signifying the end it would have signified a continuance of Pure Love's grace providing us both the glimpse of heaven that love is supposed to provide. I threw the twig into the fire as she continued about trying but failing to overcome my failures while describing the indelible scars my actions had left. I absorbed every word with a countenance that suggested indifference yet betrayed my acceptance of what had to be. I loved this woman with all of my soul, and in that love I had to simply let her be.
Her explanation finished only served to expose my acceptance. She, as most would, thought my silence and seeming indifference to be an act of defiance that proved her point to the letter. She retired in frustration at my lack of response, leaving me to stare at the fire without thought but in complete contemplation. I could feel tears on my cheeks yet could not cry. I could feel me reaching out to her while my arms were stuck in paralysis. I could hear me calling for her though no sound could leave my soul. One side human suffering at the loss of what he valued so dearly, the other side Being knowing it was as it must be; the darkness of yin that allowed the light of yang to shine.
And that was that. The ending of ego's love that attached myself to her and the beginning of pure love that allowed her to go. Not all things that take a trip through the fire are destroyed, they are merely changed from one thing to another. As I feel the fire burn around me I don't look forward to the result, I merely allow the fire to complete its art. Through it all there is love, that endless array of fuel that allows the fire to burn brightly, that allows the scars to heal and the pain to end. To that end we must all take this trip at some point in our life, and we can either see the trip as painful and our fortunes to be at its end or we can learn from every step we take and every singe offered with the touch of flame. In this figurative, I long to touch the fire and not judge it, to heal the wounds I have created in my ego's desire to be "it", and to love my life as freely and as exorbitantly as possible. I seek not to be loved, but to love...I seek not to be carried but to carry.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Such a hope would prove impossible on this night. Her bliss could not be found in my desires, nor mine in hers. One of us would certainly be dancing on this night but at the expense of the joy the other simply could not find. While we had packed lightly for this trip, we carried with us unseen baggage that had accumulated over the years. Even as she vehemently protested that she was not a "hoarder" and that she resented clutter, she certainly hoarded a resentment toward me unlimited by space and undiminished by time. I had done my part in this tragedy as I piled on the pain as one would pile on the charm and in equal delight. I had provided her the cause as she hoarded the effect, and we proved an ample tandem in both pain and pleasure although we shared certainly more in the former than the latter. Such potential wasted by the ignorance of fear and the hoarding of anger had rarely been seen by either, but so stuck on ensuring the grip of both would not resolve we they both to their own demise.
And so it was. Laying around the campfire surrounded by Nature in her glory provided the contrast to the folly of man. As she looked up at me there was a hint of sadness in her beauty compounded by the glistening of teardrops faintly finding their way into her eyes. It became eerily silent at the moment she spoke as if all of the world had paused to hear her voice, as if the universe had ended its purpose but to witness the charm of this woman.
"I just can't do it anymore. I love you but the pain is too great for me to get over." The universe could clearly see, as I could, the trail of tears pouring from her soul. To me, in this reality to which I was steeling myself to survive, these were not tears of sadness as much as they were tears of relief. She had finally found the end to the nightmare and turned the corner to the healing she so richly deserved. My absence would be the healing and this time would be the method by which a beautiful person such as she would end the torture of hoarding that which she had no interest in keeping.
I would be gone.
Such began my trip through the fire, the part of me that suffered in order to burn away fear to find love. This was no ordinary occurrence, it signaled the end of torture for me as well. No more clinging to the final branch of the past "me" that shot out from the sheer cliff of the present moment. So, in her tears I saw relief for her while I felt relief for me. This would be the moment that I would begin suffering anew while finally being able to take comfort in the knowledge that I suffer for the one I love...the Truth...the Way. As her words explaining her position teased the trees that surrounded us, my ears had move on toward the time when I could hear her laugh in delight or moan in ecstasy. My eyes did not see the visage of her sadness but rather saw the smiles of love I once got from her. The fingers that now played with a twig in nervous angst could not feel the stick but rather felt her hand in mine. Ah, such could have been the life we led, the love we shared, the memories we created in a life that neither hoarded nor created such pain that shredded love's potential. So, while I felt pain in the loss of such limitless potential and human understanding that only such companionship could bring, I took solace in the understanding that this moment was the most selfless one of my life.
She reached out to touch my hand, a sign of pity I allowed without reservation. My mind screamed at me to fight back while my heart simply beat to the rhythm she provided. Had this feeling and understanding but come a few years earlier this touch would have been much different. Rather than signifying the end it would have signified a continuance of Pure Love's grace providing us both the glimpse of heaven that love is supposed to provide. I threw the twig into the fire as she continued about trying but failing to overcome my failures while describing the indelible scars my actions had left. I absorbed every word with a countenance that suggested indifference yet betrayed my acceptance of what had to be. I loved this woman with all of my soul, and in that love I had to simply let her be.
Her explanation finished only served to expose my acceptance. She, as most would, thought my silence and seeming indifference to be an act of defiance that proved her point to the letter. She retired in frustration at my lack of response, leaving me to stare at the fire without thought but in complete contemplation. I could feel tears on my cheeks yet could not cry. I could feel me reaching out to her while my arms were stuck in paralysis. I could hear me calling for her though no sound could leave my soul. One side human suffering at the loss of what he valued so dearly, the other side Being knowing it was as it must be; the darkness of yin that allowed the light of yang to shine.
And that was that. The ending of ego's love that attached myself to her and the beginning of pure love that allowed her to go. Not all things that take a trip through the fire are destroyed, they are merely changed from one thing to another. As I feel the fire burn around me I don't look forward to the result, I merely allow the fire to complete its art. Through it all there is love, that endless array of fuel that allows the fire to burn brightly, that allows the scars to heal and the pain to end. To that end we must all take this trip at some point in our life, and we can either see the trip as painful and our fortunes to be at its end or we can learn from every step we take and every singe offered with the touch of flame. In this figurative, I long to touch the fire and not judge it, to heal the wounds I have created in my ego's desire to be "it", and to love my life as freely and as exorbitantly as possible. I seek not to be loved, but to love...I seek not to be carried but to carry.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ
Thursday, December 31, 2009
A conversation of Conscience
For whenever people of the nations that do not have law do by nature the things of the law, these people, although not having law, are a law to themselves.
In some aspects, they are. But what is the higher purpose, living by the law of True Nature or living by the law of man?
They are the very ones who demonstrate the matter of the law to be written "in their hearts" (within) while their conscience is bearing witness with them, and between their own thoughts they are being 'accused' or even 'excused'.
So a conscience can either excuse actions or accuse actions.
You describe the sublime relationship here, whether or not you chose to. We all have the "law" (as you put it) written in our hearts. It is our True Nature not associated with any one religion or faith but in the unity of each of them. In order for that "law" to be manifested physically it has to have a bridge from the spirit to the physical world...and that bridge is what we can call "conscience" if we like.
However, our conscience has a man-made component that is both egoic and counter to this higher vision of self we are all born with. That is the first voice you hear in all matters, the one that judges, the one that blames, the one that believes it is right and that others are wrong. It is NOT the voice that seeks a higher purpose, it is the voice that ensures we do NOT achieve it. It is, in the figurative sense, the voice Eve heard in the Garden and the voice Adam listened to as he ate the apple. It is the voice the separates us from our higher selves - that part of us that is of the Absolute - that part of us called Being (or God).
No, if we wish to be our True Natures and to find and attain that higher vision of our selves we first must stop listening to the voice of ego. Instead, we must find our conscience. Again, this takes much practice and focus...which is usually too much work for most of us to undertake. Yet, for the seekers, it is an imperative activity to which all others depend. Our conscience is that voice that leads us to a higher purpose...the one we rarely hear let alone listen to...the one that is God.
Therefore a conscience cannot accuse or excuse, it cannot judge right from wrong because it only knows one side of the equation necessary for judgment. If it judges it is ego, not conscience, you are listening to. Rather, your conscience will lead you to "heaven" if you listen to it, which means you simply cannot judge the actions of others as right or wrong because you cannot tell the difference between the two. A nice lead in to:
Who'd want the conscience, or the voice within, of a serial killer?
We all have the voice. It's just that some egos are associated with the "good" of not killing, while others are associated with the "bad" of killing over and over again. Still, neither is listening to their conscience as described above. If they were, there would be no such thing as serial killing and we simply would not know ourselves as "good" for not killing or "bad" for doing it. Now you can see the purpose for the "bad", it allows the "good" to exist.
Wasn't Jesus conscience trained by Scriptural teaching and learning?
Perhaps, but perhaps not in the way you think. There are two things important in the "training". First, there is knowledge. That is what we learn in our schools, our churches, our faiths and our reading. The second, and equally important is wisdom. This is often overlooked. This allows the knower to employ the knowledge. One reason our schools suck so bad is that we attempt to teach knowledge without imparting wisdom. Therefore, most don't know what to do with the knowledge they have gained.
It would seem Jesus used the knowledge of scripture to impart wisdom on those he touched. He truly followed his conscience which at times seemed to go against what knowledge others took from their scriptural education. That is why he was at odds with them, and what may have led to his death. Wisdom would cause us all to listen to conscience.
If conscience was formed through the training you described, it would be egoic and not Divine. It could be said that his training, assuming he had much, led him to his conscience but it cannot be said that his training created his conscience.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
The difference in Heaven and Hell
There is a difference between heaven and hell. In heaven, everything is right and good, and in hell everything is wrong and bad. Soon, you will find that you are the Creator of either. ~Tom Grasso
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Q: Can't that 'voice within' be the dictates of conscience?
Depends, assuming I understand this question. There are many "voices within". Depends on which voice you are listening to.
There is a trick I have learned through listening. We all have a higher vision of our selves. That higher vision is our "soul purpose". When a voice is contrary to that higher vision, I don't see it as being the one I want to listen to. When it is in line with it, that is the voice that I strive to listen to. You will find that when we listen to the voice that works the "higher vision" of ourselves, we all would work in a unison not found in any Bible, and could work in a way to which a book like the Bible is not necessary.
First, you must know your higher vision. It is never what it seems at first, but can be found in deep meditation and prayer. It is a journey unto itself, one most people are too lazy or too ego-attached to undertake. The first higher vision you have of yourself is usually ego-generated. It is a defense mechanism of the ego usually appearing to be "good" while easily found although rarely attained. That is not the "higher", it is the first. It usually takes a very long time of focus, work and dedication to find that "higher vision".
Then the work continues to focus on being in line with that higher vision. It becomes easier as the focus needed becomes sharper through practice. Once you attain enlightenment you will see it becomes your True Nature.
I hear this "voice" clearly as a feeling of truth from within my soul. I am still trying to discover my "higher vision" and my "soul purpose" and realize that it has been a process since my youth. See, it ain't easy or quick!!
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
There is a trick I have learned through listening. We all have a higher vision of our selves. That higher vision is our "soul purpose". When a voice is contrary to that higher vision, I don't see it as being the one I want to listen to. When it is in line with it, that is the voice that I strive to listen to. You will find that when we listen to the voice that works the "higher vision" of ourselves, we all would work in a unison not found in any Bible, and could work in a way to which a book like the Bible is not necessary.
First, you must know your higher vision. It is never what it seems at first, but can be found in deep meditation and prayer. It is a journey unto itself, one most people are too lazy or too ego-attached to undertake. The first higher vision you have of yourself is usually ego-generated. It is a defense mechanism of the ego usually appearing to be "good" while easily found although rarely attained. That is not the "higher", it is the first. It usually takes a very long time of focus, work and dedication to find that "higher vision".
Then the work continues to focus on being in line with that higher vision. It becomes easier as the focus needed becomes sharper through practice. Once you attain enlightenment you will see it becomes your True Nature.
I hear this "voice" clearly as a feeling of truth from within my soul. I am still trying to discover my "higher vision" and my "soul purpose" and realize that it has been a process since my youth. See, it ain't easy or quick!!
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Our Government doesn't represent the people?
It was stated during an internet discussion by a libertarian friend of mine that the government does not represent the people, but rather bankers and the very wealthy. Below is my response:
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
It does represent the people, a people who have no interest in it whatsoever. You never do go quite far enough in what really is the cause in government. Sure, the bankers and wealthy have a foothold, but that is only because the PEOPLE have allowed them to. WE vote for two parties only, WE vote for incumbents entrenched in the bureaucracy, WE keep the status quo status quo.
So, the bankers take advantage of our laziness...you can't blame the dog for eating the scraps that fall on the floor can you?
I have a feeling you like to blast the current status quo because you fear the truth, that unless this society takes control we are lost, and in order to take control there has to be something that wakes them, and in order to be awakened they have to accept their blame for all that has happened up into that very moment. These things won't happen in this society...it has gotten too fat and too invested in the status quo. Even you are invested in this status quo, because without it you simply would not exist as you like...an "enemy" of the "enemy".
So...in order for this society to wake up, two things must happen. First, YOU must wake up as an individual (you think you are now because you believe you "know" things that everyone else is blind to, but you aren't because you blame the wrong things). Without you waking yourself up, you will never be part of the solution.
Second, this society must suffer. It is the only thing that wakes us up. All of these government programs are the beginning to that suffering that was destined the first time government employed someone to protect you, or instituted committees that regulated how you could build, or what you could build. The eventual suffering we will face is destined as we repeat the history other societies have created...it is a foregone conclusion.
I simply wish it to be me that suffers for the mistakes I have made and not my children. I don't want to pass this mistake on to them. I want to teach them from MY example of suffering how to live, how to be, and how to become wise beyond this insanity. Teaching them does not include blaming others for the mistake...it involves taking responsibility for self and working toward your sense of higher cause. It means being the example, not talking about it.
So, I hope to expedite the course of suffering so that it may be me who bears the brunt, not them. Let health care reign, let meaningless wars be fought, let's keep trying to kill an idea with a bullet or bomb, let's dump more and more into an antiquated war machine, let's worry about the meaningless distractions created for us so that we may never look at the heart of our existence. Tiger Woods cheats on his wife...front page news; 50 million people in the US can't afford the right amount of food doesn't even get an honorable mention.
I just want us to hurry up. I don't have much time yet and I don't want to pass this on to our children. They are the ones who need to rebuild the house of cards we have built...only this time with brick.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Monday, December 28, 2009
Why put Christ "back" in Christmas?
The following is an excerpt from an online discussion of the meaning of Christmas, its pagan-like rituals and what is the "right" thing to do during the Christmas season. This is my response to a rather heated debate between a myself, a Christian and an atheist on the meaning of Christmas. What seemed to be my key observation was how angry the Christian was getting in relation to the atheist's remarks. Why, I wonder, do we have the need to see the outward manifestation of our beliefs in others? Why is it so necessary that our paths be not only accepted, but walked, by others? As the Observer, I found not only the anger in others, but my need to mention the "wrongness" of others as a distraction from my path of inward experience. In this, however, I realize I needed to have the outward experience in order to know the need for inward reflection on it.
Namaste.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
If we could all just see what all of this does...what it all means. The entire debate is a distraction.No one is truly wrong in the activity of debate, it is what it is without error or judgment if such judgment can be eliminated. While the opinions may be "wrong" for me (making them "wrong" in my opinion), they are not truly "wrong" in the collective sense, the universe would judge my path as "wrong" or "right" as the other. In this sense, they just "are".
Religion, when not an inward ritual or protestation of faith, fails to be meaningful regardless of what outward signs of correctness there may be. Religion, when not an inward activity of a devotion one has chosen as his or her path, fails to be a path at all, but more of a "billboard" advertisement of what the path should be for the holder of the sign. If we all just did what we say others should do without saying anything at all, wouldn't this world be a much happier place to carry out this existence?
Christians could justify Christmas just by living Christ in Christmas. The action of having everyone else justify it makes it a meaningless and trivial ritual.
We are so soaked in our need to make others see things our way that we fail to be the way. That's my observation of this entire thread, my input included. I have failed to be focused on my path as my path, while allowing others to seek their destination in their own way. I offer my apologies.
Namaste.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Sunday, December 27, 2009
A Conversation of Ego
Me:
In this experience, in the "realm of relativity", spirit needs to the ego to find its purpose. When we move on to the "realm of the Absolute", our souls certain have no more use for ego. Remember, ego is a creation of God so that God may experience what It is through what It is not. Therefore, it is not only necessary, but perfect.
Bryan X:
In this experience, in the "realm of relativity", spirit needs to the ego to find its purpose. When we move on to the "realm of the Absolute", our souls certain have no more use for ego. Remember, ego is a creation of God so that God may experience what It is through what It is not. Therefore, it is not only necessary, but perfect.
Bryan X:
I disagree on the point of the spirt needs the ego to find what it is. That is giving the ego weight which veils the oneness that you already are. If we give the ego weight and put it over awareness (spirit) then we have become the unstable. Unstable leads to insecurity mental anguish for you are identifying with something that will constantly be changing and in flux. Go to the core. Find the SELF, not the self.
Me:
Our experiences might be different Bryan. I have found, in mine, that the ego and the suffering it causes has helped me lift the veils and find my spirit. I cannot give the ego any more weight that my soul decides it has...for whatever purpose my soul has for it.
You seem to wish to judge ego instead of see it as a tool. In my experience, my ego has been a chisel, my spirit the sculptor, and my experience the marble. In the Divine Triune (That Which Gives Rise To, That Which is Risen, That Which Is or Father, Son, Holy Spirit) my spirit has given rise to my ego which in turn creates what is so that my spirit can experience itself and continue the creative process. I cannot judge my ego as bad as it perfectly fulfills its purpose. Without it, my soul could not experience itself, so I love the ego in its purpose. This is rather easy to do or, to use your analogy, "weightless" when the perspective is NOT OF THE EGO, but rather in seeing the ego as it is.
What you seem to be doing is giving the ego much more weight than it deserves through your judgments. Learn to see if from the perspective of the Seer and not the tool. Then, you will see just how perfect and necessary each of our egos are.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
You seem to wish to judge ego instead of see it as a tool. In my experience, my ego has been a chisel, my spirit the sculptor, and my experience the marble. In the Divine Triune (That Which Gives Rise To, That Which is Risen, That Which Is or Father, Son, Holy Spirit) my spirit has given rise to my ego which in turn creates what is so that my spirit can experience itself and continue the creative process. I cannot judge my ego as bad as it perfectly fulfills its purpose. Without it, my soul could not experience itself, so I love the ego in its purpose. This is rather easy to do or, to use your analogy, "weightless" when the perspective is NOT OF THE EGO, but rather in seeing the ego as it is.
What you seem to be doing is giving the ego much more weight than it deserves through your judgments. Learn to see if from the perspective of the Seer and not the tool. Then, you will see just how perfect and necessary each of our egos are.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Today, A moment of wakefullness?
Today I feel love exploding inside of me. It is as if a great warmth is surrounding my Being left frozen and numb by time. I feel the life returning, the color enveloping the colorless, the rush of life filling the void left by death. I feel reborn.
Last night I dreamed. I dreamed of things that were, that are, and that will be. I felt purpose in my Being, a drive in my soul to experience purpose. From a book rose a memory and from my soul a command: "If you had but the faith of a mustard seed you could move mountains. You don't have much time left to move that which you were sent to move." I awoke with purpose, and a renewed understanding that my purpose will unfold if I just allow it to. My faith may be able to move mountains, but only if I allow it to.
I love my wife, I love my children. I simply love. I love the stranger who I held the door open for while I was getting my morning coffee. I love the beans that allowed my coffee to be. I love the rain in my bare head, the sweat running down my back at the gym, the pain in my arms as they worked to failure, because all of these allowed me to know that I was Being. I love my new dog, the memory of my old dog and the challenges each allowed to be. I love the essence of lust my wife gives me, the challenge of patience my son gives me, the reflection of self my daughters provide, and each and ever moment that all of this existence is giving me.
To say that at this moment I have arrived in such clarity is an understatement of what is. I cannot describe completely or accurately what is inside me at this moment save to say that what is inside me at this moment has changed what is not as I can see it. The world is clearer right now, more beautiful, with each sight and each sound being clearer than I can ever remember it. I can hear the silence more clearly, the light more vividly, and the things that are allowed to be by the presence of silence and light in a way new to me. Such is the beauty of what is at this moment.
I will follow my purpose as it unfolds, and listen to my Inner Voice as it allows me to feel such instruction. Such life, such purpose shall not be forgotten. I have seen the purpose of anger, of hatred, of fear as darkness that allows this light to be. I have felt the heat of battle as it has scorched my face, the wind risen veil of anger as it hides the love I wish could be. They are part of me, and in order for me to be they must be. These are not "me", they are but a part of the whole which is allowed to be by the light of love that is inside me. In knowing the fear as I have I can see the love, in knowing the anger I can see the compassion, in knowing the "bad" I can recognize the "good". I can see the place of each, the parts of me that allow the whole to exist. I must not grasp to live, I must let go to Be.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Last night I dreamed. I dreamed of things that were, that are, and that will be. I felt purpose in my Being, a drive in my soul to experience purpose. From a book rose a memory and from my soul a command: "If you had but the faith of a mustard seed you could move mountains. You don't have much time left to move that which you were sent to move." I awoke with purpose, and a renewed understanding that my purpose will unfold if I just allow it to. My faith may be able to move mountains, but only if I allow it to.
I love my wife, I love my children. I simply love. I love the stranger who I held the door open for while I was getting my morning coffee. I love the beans that allowed my coffee to be. I love the rain in my bare head, the sweat running down my back at the gym, the pain in my arms as they worked to failure, because all of these allowed me to know that I was Being. I love my new dog, the memory of my old dog and the challenges each allowed to be. I love the essence of lust my wife gives me, the challenge of patience my son gives me, the reflection of self my daughters provide, and each and ever moment that all of this existence is giving me.
To say that at this moment I have arrived in such clarity is an understatement of what is. I cannot describe completely or accurately what is inside me at this moment save to say that what is inside me at this moment has changed what is not as I can see it. The world is clearer right now, more beautiful, with each sight and each sound being clearer than I can ever remember it. I can hear the silence more clearly, the light more vividly, and the things that are allowed to be by the presence of silence and light in a way new to me. Such is the beauty of what is at this moment.
I will follow my purpose as it unfolds, and listen to my Inner Voice as it allows me to feel such instruction. Such life, such purpose shall not be forgotten. I have seen the purpose of anger, of hatred, of fear as darkness that allows this light to be. I have felt the heat of battle as it has scorched my face, the wind risen veil of anger as it hides the love I wish could be. They are part of me, and in order for me to be they must be. These are not "me", they are but a part of the whole which is allowed to be by the light of love that is inside me. In knowing the fear as I have I can see the love, in knowing the anger I can see the compassion, in knowing the "bad" I can recognize the "good". I can see the place of each, the parts of me that allow the whole to exist. I must not grasp to live, I must let go to Be.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I lie
I lie because I fear.
I fear rejection, failure, loss, suffering, death, and ambivalence.
I fear because I am asleep.
I sleep in order to experience all that I fear. This experience will allow me to know love and provide me a means to be loving.
In order to love I must first learn to love me. I am not bad, I am not evil, I am not...
I am as good or as bad as anything else. I am perfection as created, experiencing that which I must in order to walk the path I have chosen long before this life began. I am love as much as I am fear and can be either upon choosing one over another. I can be awake or asleep depending on my choice. Neither is wrong, neither is right, neither simply is. All things are there for my use to achieve my moment's purpose. I must stop resisting...
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
I fear rejection, failure, loss, suffering, death, and ambivalence.
I fear because I am asleep.
I sleep in order to experience all that I fear. This experience will allow me to know love and provide me a means to be loving.
In order to love I must first learn to love me. I am not bad, I am not evil, I am not...
I am as good or as bad as anything else. I am perfection as created, experiencing that which I must in order to walk the path I have chosen long before this life began. I am love as much as I am fear and can be either upon choosing one over another. I can be awake or asleep depending on my choice. Neither is wrong, neither is right, neither simply is. All things are there for my use to achieve my moment's purpose. I must stop resisting...
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Q: "Is my salvation up to me?"
Q: (Paraphrasing) Do I need to understand that desire, hunger, passion, or lust is a "dream" I need to wake up from? If my salvation is up to me, I am screwed because I simply wish to eat when hungry regardless of how many times I tell my body "it's a dream, you are not hungry". I need not feel guilty from the listening to my body.
I would say don't replace one identity with another. You will only learn what you are ready to learn. You are experiencing all that you must in the way that you must. You can choose (yes, you have the choice) to be completely aware or to be completely unconscious. Neither is wrong!
If you are hungry, you may choose to eat or be free of the desire. If you want to enjoy Christmas, so be it. If you wish to be free of considering Christmas as any different from any other day, so be it. Don't, for one minute, submit to the idiocy of others who deem to tell you what is proper, what is right, as if they somehow know better. They are free to tell you whatever they wish, but you are free to listen to whatever you wish. And I use the word "idiocy" to describe the notion that anyone on this forum or elsewhere can somehow instruct you on the "right" way to live or be.
I rarely read this forum or engage in discussions here. I find the "commune" sense contrary to my purpose of the moment. Something drew me to read this passage at this time, and to respond. I don't question it, it just is. As you will be, or as any of us will be. Once the "Being" becomes united in community it fails to be anything other than the collective identity. I simply cannot see the act of replacing the Bible with another guide any better than living a lie.
God will tell you what you need when you are ready, and it might not be in this lifetime. The fact that you are questioning this is a sign that perhaps you are ready to seek the source. If so, follow your path. If not, follow your path. Or not.
One last thing. Believing that "none of this is real" because you read it in a New Age book means nothing. You must find this out for yourself in order to make your choice. Until then, it may ALL be real...or it may not. A book will not get it done for you, you must discover the path, walk the path, and then emerge from the destination as you were meant to. The inane meanderings of others who protest that "none of this is real" are part of the dream, or not, depending on your perspective. They may know it not to be "real" or know it to be a "dream", but few have actually experienced the dream, or peeled away the layers to find the illusion. The book itself may be a guide to such enlightenment, or it may be nothing more than a way to distinguish those who know from those who are.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
I would say don't replace one identity with another. You will only learn what you are ready to learn. You are experiencing all that you must in the way that you must. You can choose (yes, you have the choice) to be completely aware or to be completely unconscious. Neither is wrong!
If you are hungry, you may choose to eat or be free of the desire. If you want to enjoy Christmas, so be it. If you wish to be free of considering Christmas as any different from any other day, so be it. Don't, for one minute, submit to the idiocy of others who deem to tell you what is proper, what is right, as if they somehow know better. They are free to tell you whatever they wish, but you are free to listen to whatever you wish. And I use the word "idiocy" to describe the notion that anyone on this forum or elsewhere can somehow instruct you on the "right" way to live or be.
I rarely read this forum or engage in discussions here. I find the "commune" sense contrary to my purpose of the moment. Something drew me to read this passage at this time, and to respond. I don't question it, it just is. As you will be, or as any of us will be. Once the "Being" becomes united in community it fails to be anything other than the collective identity. I simply cannot see the act of replacing the Bible with another guide any better than living a lie.
God will tell you what you need when you are ready, and it might not be in this lifetime. The fact that you are questioning this is a sign that perhaps you are ready to seek the source. If so, follow your path. If not, follow your path. Or not.
One last thing. Believing that "none of this is real" because you read it in a New Age book means nothing. You must find this out for yourself in order to make your choice. Until then, it may ALL be real...or it may not. A book will not get it done for you, you must discover the path, walk the path, and then emerge from the destination as you were meant to. The inane meanderings of others who protest that "none of this is real" are part of the dream, or not, depending on your perspective. They may know it not to be "real" or know it to be a "dream", but few have actually experienced the dream, or peeled away the layers to find the illusion. The book itself may be a guide to such enlightenment, or it may be nothing more than a way to distinguish those who know from those who are.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Handshake
"I extend my hand to you, but have no attachment to you doing the same. My extended hand need not be filled to experience its purpose." ~Tom Grasso
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Monday, December 21, 2009
As I...
As I talked today about all I knew, God said "listen". As I walked today aimless about, God said "look".
It is so easy to love the noise of ourselves so deeply that we forget to hear. It is so easy as we head to our destination to forget to look at the marvels on our path. Take time to be still and listen. Take time while exploring purpose to look around you. Not all things are said in sound, and not all destinations are found at the end of the journey. ~Tom Grasso
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
It is so easy to love the noise of ourselves so deeply that we forget to hear. It is so easy as we head to our destination to forget to look at the marvels on our path. Take time to be still and listen. Take time while exploring purpose to look around you. Not all things are said in sound, and not all destinations are found at the end of the journey. ~Tom Grasso
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved
Deepak Chopra Asks: What's the connection between spiritual energy and sexual energy?
This question is beautiful in that it allows us to explore so many different things all in one meditation. As an American, we can certainly see how sexual energy's connection to spirit has been removed from our culture. We have created sexual energy as sinful in most cases, and have packed it into a neat little box full of conditions but usually devoid of instruction. Many of us learn at a young age that what our bodies feel and desire is wrong and out of line with God's will, and the resistance to this desire is in line with the spirit. The education itself often causes sex and spirit to be completely devoid of one another, leaving us to seek alternatives to replace the void created in the split.
In my experience, however, sexual energy is connected to us, the human Being, in more ways than most of us realize. Sex is part of who we are, as instinctive to us as breathing and as meaningful to us as prayer. Depending on our recognition of its source, sexual energy can be the most rewarding of actions or the cause of great guilt and suffering. For some, sex is an egoic function meant to temporarily satiate egoic desire, a desire that can never quite be filled in the ego's mission for more and better. It becomes an addiction of sorts, where the identity is clouded by the need to replace a normal self-loathing with a feeling of superiority or of accomplishment. That feeling nearly never comes or, at the very least, proves to be very fleeting. This causes it to be repeated over and over again always with the same results.
I can only speak from my experience here. There are no degrees of Psychotherapy hanging on my walls, no certifications for sexual therapy to say I "know". In this experience I have found the ego's need for sexual satisfaction to be anti-climatic (no pun intended). I have felt the great tinge of need when the ego feels threatened, the call of the voices all stating that sexual satisfaction is the way to all satisfaction or as a means to regain control when afraid. They lie. Or at least they lie in the context that physical sexual satisfaction alone can satisfy or provide control. They do not. The voices are silenced for but a moment at climax, but usually return before your pants are back on to create in your mind all that caused you to look for satisfaction in this manner in the first place.
Then comes along the Spirit. It speaks to you in a much different way. When you are with a lover...no not a "booty call" or a "friend with benefits"...but an actual lover, the Spirit speaks to you in ways that magnify the feeling and the moment. The voices end, the fear fades, the need for control gives way to the need to accept. You "listen" not to a voice inside of you, but rather to all that is inside of you. Spirit, that which is Love Incarnate, becomes physically manifested through the action of sex. Spirit, the Creator, creates love through the process of making love; the physical manifestation of the Spirit's desire to be Love through the conversion of sexual energy into the art of making love. In this, spiritual energy and sexual energy become one in the same, the molting of the mind, body and soul into One Being.
This is not to say that egoic sexual energy is not of Spirit. It is simply devoid of the recognition of Spirit in the act. The experiences I have had with egoic sex have brought forth a tremendous understanding of the act of Love. As a result, I have found that desire and needs in the act of Love are expressions of that Love. No fear, no guilt, no voices, just the action of converting the Love (energy) inside of me to something tangible in the physical universe. If you wish to experience it, just open your heart and close your thoughts.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
In my experience, however, sexual energy is connected to us, the human Being, in more ways than most of us realize. Sex is part of who we are, as instinctive to us as breathing and as meaningful to us as prayer. Depending on our recognition of its source, sexual energy can be the most rewarding of actions or the cause of great guilt and suffering. For some, sex is an egoic function meant to temporarily satiate egoic desire, a desire that can never quite be filled in the ego's mission for more and better. It becomes an addiction of sorts, where the identity is clouded by the need to replace a normal self-loathing with a feeling of superiority or of accomplishment. That feeling nearly never comes or, at the very least, proves to be very fleeting. This causes it to be repeated over and over again always with the same results.
I can only speak from my experience here. There are no degrees of Psychotherapy hanging on my walls, no certifications for sexual therapy to say I "know". In this experience I have found the ego's need for sexual satisfaction to be anti-climatic (no pun intended). I have felt the great tinge of need when the ego feels threatened, the call of the voices all stating that sexual satisfaction is the way to all satisfaction or as a means to regain control when afraid. They lie. Or at least they lie in the context that physical sexual satisfaction alone can satisfy or provide control. They do not. The voices are silenced for but a moment at climax, but usually return before your pants are back on to create in your mind all that caused you to look for satisfaction in this manner in the first place.
Then comes along the Spirit. It speaks to you in a much different way. When you are with a lover...no not a "booty call" or a "friend with benefits"...but an actual lover, the Spirit speaks to you in ways that magnify the feeling and the moment. The voices end, the fear fades, the need for control gives way to the need to accept. You "listen" not to a voice inside of you, but rather to all that is inside of you. Spirit, that which is Love Incarnate, becomes physically manifested through the action of sex. Spirit, the Creator, creates love through the process of making love; the physical manifestation of the Spirit's desire to be Love through the conversion of sexual energy into the art of making love. In this, spiritual energy and sexual energy become one in the same, the molting of the mind, body and soul into One Being.
This is not to say that egoic sexual energy is not of Spirit. It is simply devoid of the recognition of Spirit in the act. The experiences I have had with egoic sex have brought forth a tremendous understanding of the act of Love. As a result, I have found that desire and needs in the act of Love are expressions of that Love. No fear, no guilt, no voices, just the action of converting the Love (energy) inside of me to something tangible in the physical universe. If you wish to experience it, just open your heart and close your thoughts.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
The Essence of Love In a Time of Hate
"Healing is the physical manifestation of love from the universe. It is the nature of all things to heal, the truth of all things to love, and the essence of all things to experience what love is not in order to see all that love is." ~Tom Grasso
Storms rage and kill. Man is killing man and nature with equal abandon. Bullets fly and bombs drop, children are being blown to bits not for their security, but for the feeling of security that others halfway across the world will have as they board their planes, ride their trains, and gather for their entertainment. The oceans are laden with the vestige of man's hate for his own planet, an example of human self loathing created somewhere between his quest for fire and his quest for easy forgiveness. You see it all, you view it in totality as another polar bear dies and another glaciers shrinks in evidence of the capitulation of man to his ego, the replacement of man created in the image of God with God created in the image of man. As you view the destruction with a tear running down your cheek and a cause in your heart you are left to ask one question.
"WHY?"
We often fail to see the beauty in things we consider "bad". It appears that we replace our emotions with our thoughts, our feelings with our judgments. We replace God with ego, and ignore the communication we have with God in favor of the communication we have with ego. In this replacement, it appears we have lost contact with the Infinite Perfection because we have concentrated on communicating with the Infinite Imperfection. When we communicate with Perfection, we see that there is no such thing as bad outside of our ego. There is no such thing as evil outside of our imperfect need for it. It is when we can not only understand "why" but see the purpose of the "bad", we then lose the judgment of something as "bad". This unique state of awareness allows acceptance of all things as necessary. We replace all things "good" and all things "bad" with all things that simply "are".
All travesties and tragedies have a purpose. They allow the opportunity for action, for the "soul" purpose to be. There are no tragedies greater than any other except in our minds. There are no actions better than the others except in our own minds. There is no healing more miraculous than any other except in our own minds. There is no deed more splendid than any other except in our minds. The mind is where we as God create, where the physical manifestation of Being and ego becomes what is. The mind is the bridge between Spirit and body, between God and man, where That Which Is Risen gives That Which Gives Rise to the ability to create That Which Is. In this dynamic, we often stop at the mind instead of going beyond it to seek what is providing the mind its purpose.
So the answer to "why" is because all things are a matter of the necessity of experience. All things "bad" that happen are opportunities for "good" to exist. All things "good" that happen exist only because "bad" exists equally. This is true in every case where either exists; one is because the other is. Because of this certainty, neither is truly good or bad, they are equals in the light devoid of ego.
So it seems that in this physical universe we will always experience the essence of love in times of hate because that is the way it must be.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
Storms rage and kill. Man is killing man and nature with equal abandon. Bullets fly and bombs drop, children are being blown to bits not for their security, but for the feeling of security that others halfway across the world will have as they board their planes, ride their trains, and gather for their entertainment. The oceans are laden with the vestige of man's hate for his own planet, an example of human self loathing created somewhere between his quest for fire and his quest for easy forgiveness. You see it all, you view it in totality as another polar bear dies and another glaciers shrinks in evidence of the capitulation of man to his ego, the replacement of man created in the image of God with God created in the image of man. As you view the destruction with a tear running down your cheek and a cause in your heart you are left to ask one question.
"WHY?"
We often fail to see the beauty in things we consider "bad". It appears that we replace our emotions with our thoughts, our feelings with our judgments. We replace God with ego, and ignore the communication we have with God in favor of the communication we have with ego. In this replacement, it appears we have lost contact with the Infinite Perfection because we have concentrated on communicating with the Infinite Imperfection. When we communicate with Perfection, we see that there is no such thing as bad outside of our ego. There is no such thing as evil outside of our imperfect need for it. It is when we can not only understand "why" but see the purpose of the "bad", we then lose the judgment of something as "bad". This unique state of awareness allows acceptance of all things as necessary. We replace all things "good" and all things "bad" with all things that simply "are".
All travesties and tragedies have a purpose. They allow the opportunity for action, for the "soul" purpose to be. There are no tragedies greater than any other except in our minds. There are no actions better than the others except in our own minds. There is no healing more miraculous than any other except in our own minds. There is no deed more splendid than any other except in our minds. The mind is where we as God create, where the physical manifestation of Being and ego becomes what is. The mind is the bridge between Spirit and body, between God and man, where That Which Is Risen gives That Which Gives Rise to the ability to create That Which Is. In this dynamic, we often stop at the mind instead of going beyond it to seek what is providing the mind its purpose.
So the answer to "why" is because all things are a matter of the necessity of experience. All things "bad" that happen are opportunities for "good" to exist. All things "good" that happen exist only because "bad" exists equally. This is true in every case where either exists; one is because the other is. Because of this certainty, neither is truly good or bad, they are equals in the light devoid of ego.
So it seems that in this physical universe we will always experience the essence of love in times of hate because that is the way it must be.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
Friday, December 18, 2009
The Snowflake
To see a snowflake, perfect in its design, magnificent in its seperateness, but complete in its Oneness is to understand your own place in the universe. Revel in your uniqueness that exists as a result of your Oneness and float through this time that takes you to your destiny. ~ Tom Grasso
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
Thursday, December 17, 2009
An Answer to the Question: "How has America gotten to this point where debauchery and decadence rules the day?"
We have gotten to this point because neither side is right, neither side has the answer, neither side is the moral righteous. And the more they think they do, the less they are right. The more they attempt to inflict themselves on others, the more they do the opposite of what they intended.
Both ideologies (conservative and liberal) have created in our society a population that cannot think on its own, cannot act without being told in some way to act, and have created in their minds the notion that someone somewhere must tell them what is right and what is wrong. This has happened in every society...every civilization has fallen for nearly the same cause...and we are no different. Our fall just seems faster because we think we are right and have the resources to continue the delusion.
We have not imparted WISDOM into our society. We may KNOW a lot (and even that is questionable), but we never truly learn how to think on our own. Our schools teach us what to think about a subject, our parents teach us how to live an what to think in their image, and we never fully learn to develop WISDOM. So, we keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again while actually working to convince others to make them with us. And if they question us on the mistakes we label them, make fun of them, and humiliate them into some corner of our society we do not wish to hear.
Those who believe they are right from the outset may never understand this. Everyone not like them is wrong. I say we are both wrong. The minute you have to live like me or me like you we are both wrong. The minute I seek to inflict who I am on you through the collective I am wrong. The minute I blame you and not me for the ills of society I am wrong. The minute I point my finger I am wrong. The second I do not consider me I am wrong. The minute I open my mouth without action to follow I am wrong.
The minute I need not speak but through action may be the first time I have ever been right.
An important thing to remember is that decadence is only decadence to YOU. You define it for yourself and then seek to make it so for everyone else. In this exercise, we have forgotten how to let others BE. So, we make them wrong and classify them as "less" than we are and in turn make everything about them wrong. This is one silly practice, and because of it we have created a society that can no longer be itself without thinking itself "decadent" if it doesn't act just like those who have defined it.
I would venture a guess that if we stopped classifying all of this meaningless garbage we would find that we really aren't all that bad. We tend to focus on meaningless drivel that does not deserve attention while allowing the meaningful parts of our existence flounder. It is this focus, or lack of it, that is undermining our society because it undermines the individuals who make up that society.
As it will. When you are the richest nation on earth with the most debt and the most toys, you tend to lose focus. "Things" become the most important aspect of life, money becomes the focus, and you are willing to do just about anything to acquire things and make money. You have, at that point, sacrificed who you are for who you think you are. You have become the illusion.
The only cure is to wake up. This requires deep inward focus and attention to self. Your ego has created a word you use often, "selfish", and made it bad so that you never wish to focus on self. Focusing on "self" makes you bad, whereas diving into the worlds of others makes you "concerned", and "good".
I ask you one question, what has all of the desire to make all of that not you exactly like you accomplished? It seems to me that all of your desire to make the world like you has done nothing but given you the false impression that the world is falling apart because of its failure to be like you. That is your mistake, not the world's.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
Both ideologies (conservative and liberal) have created in our society a population that cannot think on its own, cannot act without being told in some way to act, and have created in their minds the notion that someone somewhere must tell them what is right and what is wrong. This has happened in every society...every civilization has fallen for nearly the same cause...and we are no different. Our fall just seems faster because we think we are right and have the resources to continue the delusion.
We have not imparted WISDOM into our society. We may KNOW a lot (and even that is questionable), but we never truly learn how to think on our own. Our schools teach us what to think about a subject, our parents teach us how to live an what to think in their image, and we never fully learn to develop WISDOM. So, we keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again while actually working to convince others to make them with us. And if they question us on the mistakes we label them, make fun of them, and humiliate them into some corner of our society we do not wish to hear.
Those who believe they are right from the outset may never understand this. Everyone not like them is wrong. I say we are both wrong. The minute you have to live like me or me like you we are both wrong. The minute I seek to inflict who I am on you through the collective I am wrong. The minute I blame you and not me for the ills of society I am wrong. The minute I point my finger I am wrong. The second I do not consider me I am wrong. The minute I open my mouth without action to follow I am wrong.
The minute I need not speak but through action may be the first time I have ever been right.
An important thing to remember is that decadence is only decadence to YOU. You define it for yourself and then seek to make it so for everyone else. In this exercise, we have forgotten how to let others BE. So, we make them wrong and classify them as "less" than we are and in turn make everything about them wrong. This is one silly practice, and because of it we have created a society that can no longer be itself without thinking itself "decadent" if it doesn't act just like those who have defined it.
I would venture a guess that if we stopped classifying all of this meaningless garbage we would find that we really aren't all that bad. We tend to focus on meaningless drivel that does not deserve attention while allowing the meaningful parts of our existence flounder. It is this focus, or lack of it, that is undermining our society because it undermines the individuals who make up that society.
As it will. When you are the richest nation on earth with the most debt and the most toys, you tend to lose focus. "Things" become the most important aspect of life, money becomes the focus, and you are willing to do just about anything to acquire things and make money. You have, at that point, sacrificed who you are for who you think you are. You have become the illusion.
The only cure is to wake up. This requires deep inward focus and attention to self. Your ego has created a word you use often, "selfish", and made it bad so that you never wish to focus on self. Focusing on "self" makes you bad, whereas diving into the worlds of others makes you "concerned", and "good".
I ask you one question, what has all of the desire to make all of that not you exactly like you accomplished? It seems to me that all of your desire to make the world like you has done nothing but given you the false impression that the world is falling apart because of its failure to be like you. That is your mistake, not the world's.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Rushing Tide of Time
I have a purpose, a reason for Being that is so complete and so perfect that my soul's agreement with God was to forget it before I was born. Such seems to be the price of being born that one should forget such perfection and completeness in exchange for the experience of being what the soul is not. It is the absolute perfection of this existence, that utter perfection can experience utter imperfection so that it can BE. When one remembers this purpose, the folly of what can be this "life" (what we call all we know) becomes clearly necessary so that we may know all that we are.
The purpose of this blog is not to preach, but to experience. I have been given a desire to write, to express what is inside of my Being in this way. Recently, it has made much less sense for me to hide this "light under a basket" for it was given me for a reason. What that reason is I have yet to discover, and what will be the result I see no sense in questioning or speculating about. It is what it is, and in understanding that I have no purpose here I find no pressure, just the flow of creativity when it comes and when there is the possibility to share.
To share does not mean with anyone else, to share means to take that which is within me and expose it to the light. If others find this, read this, and see value in this so be it, but it is not written for any purpose other than to exist in itself as it was meant to exist.
I welcome this experience with my heart wide open, with this soul's embracing light loving the darkness that has allowed it to be experienced. I find love in my soul, peace in my heart, and the glorious excitement at was is to become of this moment.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
The purpose of this blog is not to preach, but to experience. I have been given a desire to write, to express what is inside of my Being in this way. Recently, it has made much less sense for me to hide this "light under a basket" for it was given me for a reason. What that reason is I have yet to discover, and what will be the result I see no sense in questioning or speculating about. It is what it is, and in understanding that I have no purpose here I find no pressure, just the flow of creativity when it comes and when there is the possibility to share.
To share does not mean with anyone else, to share means to take that which is within me and expose it to the light. If others find this, read this, and see value in this so be it, but it is not written for any purpose other than to exist in itself as it was meant to exist.
I welcome this experience with my heart wide open, with this soul's embracing light loving the darkness that has allowed it to be experienced. I find love in my soul, peace in my heart, and the glorious excitement at was is to become of this moment.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved
Friday, November 27, 2009
An Ode to Dempsey (November 18, 2009)
You are but an old man now,
Seeking to define what time has done to you,
Finding that strength escapes you,
As did the youth you so eagerly took for granted.
You are but an old man now my friend,
I watch you struggle for that last glimpse of life,
To be with those you love,
With those for whom your loyalty was never-ending.
I am but an old man now,
Yet young was I when you first came to me,
How my struggle became your struggle,
And yet you sat by me regardless of who I was.
We are but old men now,
And as I watch you fade into memory,
I know that this place you have built without effort
Will be a part of me forever.
For who could know that a true best friend,
Could be found in one who has never spoken a word but has said so much,
But who has in this moment taught me
That anger should never replace the pain I knew I’d feel in your departure.
But now I will watch you until I can watch no longer,
And comfort you as you have comforted me,
And love you as you have loved me,
And know that the gift you give is in the tears I now shed.
I shed these tears for the two of us,
And for those who love us, who will sit with us without question,
For we are old men now my friend,
The end is near…we shall be comforted.
Seeking to define what time has done to you,
Finding that strength escapes you,
As did the youth you so eagerly took for granted.
You are but an old man now my friend,
I watch you struggle for that last glimpse of life,
To be with those you love,
With those for whom your loyalty was never-ending.
I am but an old man now,
Yet young was I when you first came to me,
How my struggle became your struggle,
And yet you sat by me regardless of who I was.
We are but old men now,
And as I watch you fade into memory,
I know that this place you have built without effort
Will be a part of me forever.
For who could know that a true best friend,
Could be found in one who has never spoken a word but has said so much,
But who has in this moment taught me
That anger should never replace the pain I knew I’d feel in your departure.
But now I will watch you until I can watch no longer,
And comfort you as you have comforted me,
And love you as you have loved me,
And know that the gift you give is in the tears I now shed.
I shed these tears for the two of us,
And for those who love us, who will sit with us without question,
For we are old men now my friend,
The end is near…we shall be comforted.
Simply (October 29, 2009)
Like as if a pebble through still waters,
Awareness ripples through the story of my life,
Seeking to see beyond that which is the illusion of reflection,
Slowly defining that which is beneath the surface.
As though the seeker and not the sought,
The truth that ripples through the delusions of stillness,
To allow true stillness to be, to all no distortions between
This and that, here and there, then and now.
That which is in the Deep has become the here and now,
That which was the surface slowing sinks into the Abyss,
To feel, to Be, is to be numb and to Be not,
To be there is to know what it is to be here.
To have is to realize what it is to have not,
To see is to know certain blindness, to be bad is to know what goodness is,
To seek is to know no search, to cry is to know pure bliss,
To hate is to know love and to lie is to know truth.
I am..
Not simply as some thing, but as all things.
I am…
Not simply as God but as my own Creation.
I am…
Not as what I seek to be but as what you have made me.
You, the other, the same, my Creator as I am surely yours.
For what am I if not what I am in your mind,
And what are you if not what you are in my mind.
Good, bad, kind, mean, right, wrong,
What can it be if not me? For you cannot exist
If I do not exist, you cannot be if I do not make you so,
And I am just a figment of my own imagination as you are yours, and we each other's.
You are truth in all that you are because you are truth in all that you are not.
You are the bane of the existence to that which loves that you are.
You are to experience that which you were not, in order that you may finally be.
You are because you were not and because of that you will be.
Simply.
Awareness ripples through the story of my life,
Seeking to see beyond that which is the illusion of reflection,
Slowly defining that which is beneath the surface.
As though the seeker and not the sought,
The truth that ripples through the delusions of stillness,
To allow true stillness to be, to all no distortions between
This and that, here and there, then and now.
That which is in the Deep has become the here and now,
That which was the surface slowing sinks into the Abyss,
To feel, to Be, is to be numb and to Be not,
To be there is to know what it is to be here.
To have is to realize what it is to have not,
To see is to know certain blindness, to be bad is to know what goodness is,
To seek is to know no search, to cry is to know pure bliss,
To hate is to know love and to lie is to know truth.
I am..
Not simply as some thing, but as all things.
I am…
Not simply as God but as my own Creation.
I am…
Not as what I seek to be but as what you have made me.
You, the other, the same, my Creator as I am surely yours.
For what am I if not what I am in your mind,
And what are you if not what you are in my mind.
Good, bad, kind, mean, right, wrong,
What can it be if not me? For you cannot exist
If I do not exist, you cannot be if I do not make you so,
And I am just a figment of my own imagination as you are yours, and we each other's.
You are truth in all that you are because you are truth in all that you are not.
You are the bane of the existence to that which loves that you are.
You are to experience that which you were not, in order that you may finally be.
You are because you were not and because of that you will be.
Simply.
Friday, July 24, 2009
This Mind
Alone I fall but the morrow comes,
And aye such tenderness escapes the lot of me,
I am lost or so it seems,
Beyond the capacity of this mind to see.
Once the sound of music pained,
The look of a trampled man never gave me pause,
And yet such burden borne on me,
Was this mind's own rigid, frightful cause.
For hate, dislike, lost and found,
Are but visions of fantasy like flags unfurled,
It's true nothing in this dream has changed,
Except how I, this mind, see this world.
And aye such tenderness escapes the lot of me,
I am lost or so it seems,
Beyond the capacity of this mind to see.
Once the sound of music pained,
The look of a trampled man never gave me pause,
And yet such burden borne on me,
Was this mind's own rigid, frightful cause.
For hate, dislike, lost and found,
Are but visions of fantasy like flags unfurled,
It's true nothing in this dream has changed,
Except how I, this mind, see this world.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Timeless Life
Divine, I slip out to the shore,
Enticed by ocean's lapping sound,
I hear the silence that gives me pause,
In this space I find such truth profound.
To be born today but forever alive,
Is to step anew where my feet once tread,
I swear I can feel the waves but tease my skin,
Yet when I look I can only see a sandy bed.
Felt I those waves as once alive,
But now have but sunken to the sea?
Perhaps they never where but in my mind,
That part of ocean somehow part of me.
Alive! I rush to breathe at last,
From Root to Heart, from Om to Crown,
This destiny that suffers not,
What is left of "me" I leave to drown.
Escaped I from the lie that was,
Onto the shore of truth's own lapping wave,
Once what I want hath died what is can live,
I shall not miss those things that I have lave.
Let go! Let go! this somber soul,
Feel time slipping from your hands,
For that which is alive only but in your mind,
Shall wash away as Timeless life demands.
Enticed by ocean's lapping sound,
I hear the silence that gives me pause,
In this space I find such truth profound.
To be born today but forever alive,
Is to step anew where my feet once tread,
I swear I can feel the waves but tease my skin,
Yet when I look I can only see a sandy bed.
Felt I those waves as once alive,
But now have but sunken to the sea?
Perhaps they never where but in my mind,
That part of ocean somehow part of me.
Alive! I rush to breathe at last,
From Root to Heart, from Om to Crown,
This destiny that suffers not,
What is left of "me" I leave to drown.
Escaped I from the lie that was,
Onto the shore of truth's own lapping wave,
Once what I want hath died what is can live,
I shall not miss those things that I have lave.
Let go! Let go! this somber soul,
Feel time slipping from your hands,
For that which is alive only but in your mind,
Shall wash away as Timeless life demands.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Dear Mother
I have been laying awake for the last hour, struggling within myself not to be attached to my feelings of anger and sadness for what you have done. I have attempted to meditate, reviewed the blessing of my life and basically did all I could do to let these feelings pass except write this to you. I wish to let it out of me now in order that the light it is exposed to shall end such attachment. So here I sit alone in the darkness allowing my spirit to write absent of any thought to guide it from this abyss. Such honesty may prove painful, but necessary, on this path to more enlightened moments. My sadness is only compounded in my seeming need to write that which could prove so painful to others.
You have stolen too much from me, and as I regress back into a feeling of anger over what you have done I realize that it is truly just sadness disguised in a more soluble form of emotion to me. You have beaten tears out of me, you have lied anger into me, and you have stolen from me all I could have been. That is certainly not true of this moment, I am as I must be, but you must realize that what YOU are has offered little to this world beyond children stolen from their essence and driven into lonely darkness. Such a legacy left by someone who I wish could feel the selfless love around her is truly something that wreaks such painful havoc such as the desperate sadness I feel at this moment.
You have lied, and in your lies you have taken much more than you have given from the souls of those who, through birth, lay committed to your care and love. You remain this moment so selfish of love and unselfish of hate that you spread that hate like a disease around you. You have belittled your daughter into a life of such servitude that the truth smells so foul she must run from it. You have created in your world a reality so devoid of truth that any semblance of it has been removed, often with reasons just as fabricated as the lies that created them. You have driven your son into a life of ended despair that caused him to offer similar pain to the ones he loves the most. You have not been the light; that beacon of love that the ships you send into the world may find direction. No, you have been the bastion of darkness that causes those ships to run aground, stuck in the mud as helpless vessels of the pure hatred you have born into them.
You have poisoned me, and in such a condition we spread that poison to others who you have also rejected in your failed reality. You have caused me to reject a grandmother whose only fault was to not be part of the ingredient to your affliction. You caused me to hardly know a grandfather whose only memory I have was one of patient, caring love. You have stolen years from a father and his son, and in doing so created such pain that both seemed to have relived over and over again the only attachments to joy they could find from each other. This is just a small tasting of the poison you have shared with the world around you, a world who neither deserved such a fate nor asked for it.
Today, however, you failed. I have found my father, and understand in my short conversation with him that we share a bit more than just a bloodline. We share what you have created, your masterpiece of pain that left a aged man with a trembling voice and a younger version of him with tears in his eyes. Today you failed to beat every tear from my eyes. No, I shared a few with the world around me as an antidote to the poison you have fed it, and I left it a hope for continued health tomorrow.
And as I look into my mind's eye I see my own children, one who is left to tears over the thought of "Mr. and Mrs. Grasso" who were once her grandparents and the other two much luckier in having never met them, and I renew an oath to work to keep your poison from their hearts. I am so ravaged by the illness at times I am unsure of my abilities in this regard, but committed just the same to ending your cycle in me. I can only hope that the new memories and visions in my heart can replace those you have created. I pray the love and sanity I have found grow wildly in my soul to replace the scars and fear you have burrowed into it. I realize that I have this power to remove you like a tumor because only I can create you into anything other than a distant memory. That is where you belong - in the words of one of my favorite songs - "In My Rear View Mirror".
You have created you the monster, but I keep it alive. It is high time I finish the exorcism, and in meeting the man who should have always been a part of my life I pray to do just that. I realize why you needed to remove him, he knew the truth and you needed to keep us from it. Rather than be the truth you created it, and in doing so turned a man who was nothing more than a good husband and father into a monster so much like you. I find it odd that your description of him - the monster you created - is actually a self-description, and I find it odd that as you sit still at night you don't see that irony. It is YOU who sought removal of your self from the lives of your son and his family who could have so unselfishly loved you, and it was YOU who forced the removal of a man, my father, from his children while destroying all he worked for in the process.
And the song replays like a broken record along the time line of your life. Misery, tears, anger, hostility and separation follow in your wake as if you are a tornado spawned from hell and not satisfied until all beauty is removed from heaven above it. I wonder if the price was worth the trip, as it seems more long for you to be in their rear view mirrors than want you in the car with them.
I have forgiven the beatings you provided me...as from the same song they "made me wise". I am not sure I have forgiven you the tears my daughter sheds at the very discussion of your selfishness. It would seem, given what I know of you, the reaction you craved. You get your importance from the misery of others, and if there is one piece of advice I offered my daughter at your expense it was to not give you such power. It is what you crave, what quenches your thirst, and to steal it away from you is the only way to slay the beast that lives in your soul. Perhaps when her tears no longer are created at the thought of you the forgiveness will be given me to share.
So now, I will walk this path given me in complete bliss at the opportunity it has brought. Time will tell how complete this path makes me, but I have confidence that I will be as I always am: where I need be. My only desire, if you can call it that, is that I walk the rest of my journey cured of the illness you have bequeathed me. I have found the antidote, love, I just need to perfect my taste for it. Such perfection will be the end of you.
In spite of all of this I still love you, my mother, and feel an immense degree of sadness over your condition. Perhaps that sadness is magnified by the fact that your condition is so easily cured, for I have found that the truth is truly a cure for all blights on the soul. I just wonder if you have not lived for so long in your fantasy that you can no longer see a different reality. Such sadness cannot be born long on a soul, take it from your son who has had to live it to some degree for much too long. So, despite my anger and sadness I will always have my arms prepared to open for you should you choose to find love and truth in your life. That seems to be proof enough to my spirit that I am truly finding cure of what you have made of it. And in that, I end this with a smile and a hopeful recognition of what fate can bestow.
You have stolen too much from me, and as I regress back into a feeling of anger over what you have done I realize that it is truly just sadness disguised in a more soluble form of emotion to me. You have beaten tears out of me, you have lied anger into me, and you have stolen from me all I could have been. That is certainly not true of this moment, I am as I must be, but you must realize that what YOU are has offered little to this world beyond children stolen from their essence and driven into lonely darkness. Such a legacy left by someone who I wish could feel the selfless love around her is truly something that wreaks such painful havoc such as the desperate sadness I feel at this moment.
You have lied, and in your lies you have taken much more than you have given from the souls of those who, through birth, lay committed to your care and love. You remain this moment so selfish of love and unselfish of hate that you spread that hate like a disease around you. You have belittled your daughter into a life of such servitude that the truth smells so foul she must run from it. You have created in your world a reality so devoid of truth that any semblance of it has been removed, often with reasons just as fabricated as the lies that created them. You have driven your son into a life of ended despair that caused him to offer similar pain to the ones he loves the most. You have not been the light; that beacon of love that the ships you send into the world may find direction. No, you have been the bastion of darkness that causes those ships to run aground, stuck in the mud as helpless vessels of the pure hatred you have born into them.
You have poisoned me, and in such a condition we spread that poison to others who you have also rejected in your failed reality. You have caused me to reject a grandmother whose only fault was to not be part of the ingredient to your affliction. You caused me to hardly know a grandfather whose only memory I have was one of patient, caring love. You have stolen years from a father and his son, and in doing so created such pain that both seemed to have relived over and over again the only attachments to joy they could find from each other. This is just a small tasting of the poison you have shared with the world around you, a world who neither deserved such a fate nor asked for it.
Today, however, you failed. I have found my father, and understand in my short conversation with him that we share a bit more than just a bloodline. We share what you have created, your masterpiece of pain that left a aged man with a trembling voice and a younger version of him with tears in his eyes. Today you failed to beat every tear from my eyes. No, I shared a few with the world around me as an antidote to the poison you have fed it, and I left it a hope for continued health tomorrow.
And as I look into my mind's eye I see my own children, one who is left to tears over the thought of "Mr. and Mrs. Grasso" who were once her grandparents and the other two much luckier in having never met them, and I renew an oath to work to keep your poison from their hearts. I am so ravaged by the illness at times I am unsure of my abilities in this regard, but committed just the same to ending your cycle in me. I can only hope that the new memories and visions in my heart can replace those you have created. I pray the love and sanity I have found grow wildly in my soul to replace the scars and fear you have burrowed into it. I realize that I have this power to remove you like a tumor because only I can create you into anything other than a distant memory. That is where you belong - in the words of one of my favorite songs - "In My Rear View Mirror".
You have created you the monster, but I keep it alive. It is high time I finish the exorcism, and in meeting the man who should have always been a part of my life I pray to do just that. I realize why you needed to remove him, he knew the truth and you needed to keep us from it. Rather than be the truth you created it, and in doing so turned a man who was nothing more than a good husband and father into a monster so much like you. I find it odd that your description of him - the monster you created - is actually a self-description, and I find it odd that as you sit still at night you don't see that irony. It is YOU who sought removal of your self from the lives of your son and his family who could have so unselfishly loved you, and it was YOU who forced the removal of a man, my father, from his children while destroying all he worked for in the process.
And the song replays like a broken record along the time line of your life. Misery, tears, anger, hostility and separation follow in your wake as if you are a tornado spawned from hell and not satisfied until all beauty is removed from heaven above it. I wonder if the price was worth the trip, as it seems more long for you to be in their rear view mirrors than want you in the car with them.
I have forgiven the beatings you provided me...as from the same song they "made me wise". I am not sure I have forgiven you the tears my daughter sheds at the very discussion of your selfishness. It would seem, given what I know of you, the reaction you craved. You get your importance from the misery of others, and if there is one piece of advice I offered my daughter at your expense it was to not give you such power. It is what you crave, what quenches your thirst, and to steal it away from you is the only way to slay the beast that lives in your soul. Perhaps when her tears no longer are created at the thought of you the forgiveness will be given me to share.
So now, I will walk this path given me in complete bliss at the opportunity it has brought. Time will tell how complete this path makes me, but I have confidence that I will be as I always am: where I need be. My only desire, if you can call it that, is that I walk the rest of my journey cured of the illness you have bequeathed me. I have found the antidote, love, I just need to perfect my taste for it. Such perfection will be the end of you.
In spite of all of this I still love you, my mother, and feel an immense degree of sadness over your condition. Perhaps that sadness is magnified by the fact that your condition is so easily cured, for I have found that the truth is truly a cure for all blights on the soul. I just wonder if you have not lived for so long in your fantasy that you can no longer see a different reality. Such sadness cannot be born long on a soul, take it from your son who has had to live it to some degree for much too long. So, despite my anger and sadness I will always have my arms prepared to open for you should you choose to find love and truth in your life. That seems to be proof enough to my spirit that I am truly finding cure of what you have made of it. And in that, I end this with a smile and a hopeful recognition of what fate can bestow.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Into the Rain
Such pity poor does Nature show
To those she must endure,
To be free alive beyond what minds contrive,
Is her destiny for sure.
These eyes can see so easily,
Through panes of weathered glass,
Nature's plan to shake off this man,
Or have his ego shunned en masse.
Such tears have formed throughout the years,
Now come pouring from the sky,
And through this weathered window pane,
Comes the understanding why.
This box is sealed with mental locks,
She offers me the key,
With pain assumed by us insane,
We create all reality.
This box is why I can stay so dry,
And absent of her pain,
But through that door there is much more,
So I walk Into the Rain.
Through that door into the light, from the confines of darkness into the freedom from it I walk. Unsteadily, as if walking for the first time, I take my first step beyond what I know into the Rain. Why does such pure water feel so dirty? Why does the chill course through my body as if I am feeling life for the very first time? I stumble a bit, unsure of my balance as I venture outward, but somehow I realize that the more I seem to venture from the confines that held me, the more I seem to venture outward, the more I venture inward. This Rain, as it cascades down my now bare skin onto the Earth that is now part of me, is bringing me alive as if for the very first time.
We are but one,
One body, one soul, one part of Creation,
We are all part of the same Sea,
And in this existence we share,
We are all but teaspoons from this Sea,
And surely one day we will all return to Her.
Our spoons may look different,
The bowls may be larger or smaller,
The handles may be ornate or plain,
But it is not the spoon that matters,
For it is just a vessel, a distraction from the Sea.
I realize that as much as our egos seek to separate us from all that is, we are not separate from any of it. Although ego provides us with physical differences we are not different except in our perception of the physical. Although our minds offer us borders from which to divide ourselves, we are not different. As the mud runs through my toes I realize that somewhere someone is also allowing the mud to run through their toes. The same Earth, the same air, the same sky, the same Rain, the same emotion, all is the same but the vessel that carries the Sea. In the Sea we share a Oneness and the same purpose, and it is the purpose of ego to have us forget the Sea and to focus on the vessel that carries it. In this sense, the battle is not between "good" and "evil", but between awareness and ego.
So, with arms outstretched and eyes focused on the sky, I walk into the Rain.
To those she must endure,
To be free alive beyond what minds contrive,
Is her destiny for sure.
These eyes can see so easily,
Through panes of weathered glass,
Nature's plan to shake off this man,
Or have his ego shunned en masse.
Such tears have formed throughout the years,
Now come pouring from the sky,
And through this weathered window pane,
Comes the understanding why.
This box is sealed with mental locks,
She offers me the key,
With pain assumed by us insane,
We create all reality.
This box is why I can stay so dry,
And absent of her pain,
But through that door there is much more,
So I walk Into the Rain.
Through that door into the light, from the confines of darkness into the freedom from it I walk. Unsteadily, as if walking for the first time, I take my first step beyond what I know into the Rain. Why does such pure water feel so dirty? Why does the chill course through my body as if I am feeling life for the very first time? I stumble a bit, unsure of my balance as I venture outward, but somehow I realize that the more I seem to venture from the confines that held me, the more I seem to venture outward, the more I venture inward. This Rain, as it cascades down my now bare skin onto the Earth that is now part of me, is bringing me alive as if for the very first time.
We are but one,
One body, one soul, one part of Creation,
We are all part of the same Sea,
And in this existence we share,
We are all but teaspoons from this Sea,
And surely one day we will all return to Her.
Our spoons may look different,
The bowls may be larger or smaller,
The handles may be ornate or plain,
But it is not the spoon that matters,
For it is just a vessel, a distraction from the Sea.
I realize that as much as our egos seek to separate us from all that is, we are not separate from any of it. Although ego provides us with physical differences we are not different except in our perception of the physical. Although our minds offer us borders from which to divide ourselves, we are not different. As the mud runs through my toes I realize that somewhere someone is also allowing the mud to run through their toes. The same Earth, the same air, the same sky, the same Rain, the same emotion, all is the same but the vessel that carries the Sea. In the Sea we share a Oneness and the same purpose, and it is the purpose of ego to have us forget the Sea and to focus on the vessel that carries it. In this sense, the battle is not between "good" and "evil", but between awareness and ego.
So, with arms outstretched and eyes focused on the sky, I walk into the Rain.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Think
Some dream - to be lost in it all,
To think that this matters is simply to think
And to think is to die,
And to die is to dream and to not wonder why.
Some time - it just passes by,
To count the seconds is to think within time,
And to think is to die,
And to die is to think as the time passes by.
Some things, we hold on as tight as we can,
To hold on to these things is to think who we are,
And to think is to die,
And to die is to hold on to these things as life flashes by.
One side you are God, the other you're man,
And to live in a dream is to think that you can,
And to think is to die,
But to live is to be as the thoughts roll on by.
Right or wrong the thought matters not,
To think that your right is the start of the fight,
See to think is to die,
But to live is to be absent of thought in your mind.
To think that this matters is simply to think
And to think is to die,
And to die is to dream and to not wonder why.
Some time - it just passes by,
To count the seconds is to think within time,
And to think is to die,
And to die is to think as the time passes by.
Some things, we hold on as tight as we can,
To hold on to these things is to think who we are,
And to think is to die,
And to die is to hold on to these things as life flashes by.
One side you are God, the other you're man,
And to live in a dream is to think that you can,
And to think is to die,
But to live is to be as the thoughts roll on by.
Right or wrong the thought matters not,
To think that your right is the start of the fight,
See to think is to die,
But to live is to be absent of thought in your mind.
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