Ask and You Shall Receive

Original photograph by Sandy Chase

I am sitting here, goose bumps covering my skin and tears welling up in my eyes. Each hair on my body is alive as if each is reaching for the sky while my body seems to be melting into the space beneath it.  My breath is still slow, my heart content to beat in time with the rhythm that has pulsed through it.  I am alone but not lonely.  I am still but far from doing nothing.  I am alive and I am aware even as the universe fades from view in eyes wide open.


Thus ends my midday meditation.  It’s not the first time that I have been graced with such an explosion of emotion.  Once, when I was about 14, I had such a tremendous experience while meditating that I stopped practicing until I could better understand the experience.  In that moment I cried like a baby as a sense of love came cascading down from points all around me.  I felt the room fade away as all that remained was the sense of love that filled the areas where intense pain once dwelled.  Light filled darkness, and the unusual experience of joy filled my heart.  Needless to say, I was not prepared to handle it.


I was not alone but I was lonely in my youth.  I was a tortured soul if ever there was one, with parents who instilled such agreements in me as “I am not worthy” or “I am nothing”.  They also created agreements for me that caused me to fear love, to fear commitment, to fear giving myself freely and to fear trusting in anything with a heartbeat.  Yes, they drew up the contracts but it was me who readily agreed to sign them.  I did not understand the latter part of that equation until after my children were born and love began to invade places I kept locked deep within me.  Today, those places are becoming "public parks" where anyone can visit without a moment's hesitation on my part.


It was not until recently that I decided those contracts must become null and void.  Now, you just don’t cancel a contract with fear or anger.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Rather, you must replace those contracts with agreements that make them null and void.  You don’t “ask” for release, you release yourself (action, by the way, is the purest form of asking).  I’ll say that again, this time without the parentheses. Action is the purest form of asking. Perhaps, for those of you who don’t know me, this requires a bit of explanation using my patented analogies.


Say I want to have a successful business in landscaping and I am a very creative landscaper with many talents for the task.  I sit in silent prayer asking the Universe (or God) to make my business successful.  I do this for countless hours a day, several days a week for several weeks in a row.  At the end of the practice, I look at my sales figures in total disbelief.  “Zero sales!?,” I shout.  “The universe must hate me.  That law of attraction stuff is nothing but nonsense!!”


I suggest that is simply not so.  What you have truly done is ask the universe to make you successful at sitting still and praying, to which it replied “YES!”  I have found in my experience that action is the only question the Universe actually understands.  If I sit in a church somewhere and pray for world peace, and then leave the building and attack a person walking down the street, which request am I actually asking the Universe to meet?  That answer seems relatively simple, and to me is one reason gurus like Gandhi said, “BE the change you wish to see in the world” and not “pray that the world changes”.  Make sense?  I can’t find anything else that is clearer spiritually.

Source: Photobucket (username:eyeness)

Having this experience within me, I discovered that I cannot simply ask that an agreement with fear be nullified.  I cannot ask for an end to loneliness while remaining in an empty room attached to a need for companionship.  I cannot ask to be loved while continually spreading fear to those around me.  I cannot ask to “see the light” while sitting on the basket that covers it.  No, I must make other agreements and, in turn, ask the question correctly.  I must walk out of my empty room toward a room filled with others (or lose my attachment to companionship) if I no longer want to be lonely.  I must spread love if I want to see love in return.  I must lift the cover if I wish to see the light under it.  Action, therefore, is the question the Universe understands.


Now, back to the analogy.  I ask the Universe to have a successful landscaping business not by praying for it, but rather by going out and doing a good job at a good value.  I relish in my passion for it and it, in return, provides me with success.  I have made an agreement with success by not only identifying my passion and talent but by putting that passion and talent in ACTION.  To this, the Universe always says “YES!”

Once I discovered this truth a new reality was born for me.  I have replaced the agreements I had with fear with new agreements with Love.  I have replaced the agreements I had with anger with new agreements with joy.  I have replaced the agreements I had with judgment with agreements with peace.  Mostly, I have replaced agreements I had with death with new agreements I have with life.  Amazing, huh?  I have begun asking the questions correctly.  I used to pray that I could become a writer.  Now, I write.  A prayer never once put a moment of inspiration through my fingers onto paper, actually typing them did.    An agreement I had with a dream has been replaced with a new agreement I have with action.  I have replaced asking with action and expecting with doing and have found a great new world in front of me.

What agreements does the Universe have with you?
Source: NASA

Now, the goose bumps have subsided, and I can return to the rest of my passion-filled day.  See, prayer may not get inspiration from fingers to paper, but it does get inspiration from Source to fingers.  Prayer in itself is a question.  Meditation is, after all, an action.  The Universe always says “YES” to both, and anytime we believe it has failed what really has failed is our perception of what we have asked or what we have done.  The Universe never fails, ever.


Be well, and prosper my dear friends.  It’s all up to YOU.

Peace. ☮   ©2011 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I Have Said Goodbye to Anger

So I was alone, helpless as the day I was born.  Actually, I was even more helpless, because in addition to not having hope I knew I did not have it.  So there I lay, floundering in my own despair, searching for a light to guide my way.  I reached for you but you weren't there,  gone was the life-after-life - the solace to which I had become accustomed.


You were my strength; you were my weakness.  You cradled me in your arms as I sat helpless and bleeding.  You stood with me as I faced torment.  You lit my way as I groped down the narrow valley in which I was thrown.  You held me up when I thought I would fall, you pushed me down as I struggled to stand.  You helped me find my way as you kept me lost.  You gave me a name even as I had forgotten who I was.


You helped me escape unbearable suffering as you heaped on the misery.  You filled my cravings as you kept me wanting more.  You kept me from looking by telling me what I saw; you stopped me from searching by destroying all I had found.  You forced me to be who I wasn't so that I could escape who I was; you created disdain for me while holding me true to a lie.   I do not judge you in these descriptions, they are what I see when the blinders have been removed.


I have said goodbye to you.  Not because I see you as good or evil, and not because I dislike you.  I have said goodbye because I no longer need the walls that you create.  I have said goodbye because I no longer fear my shadow.  I have said goodbye because I have said hello to the me that was before I embraced you.  I love you for the experience you have given me and for the now that I live in joy.  I could not have gotten here without you.


Goodbye to you my friend; my foe.  I am sure we will meet again someday, yet I can promise you that I will see you this time.  I will feel you come and I will simply try to watch you go. 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Each Cell of a Tree is Just Like Me!

Observance is a gift that should not be overlooked.  I love to just sit quietly and observe everything around me without interfering.  It's refreshing to see the universe spin around me, how it all works just exactly as it should.  I can inhale and get air, I can exhale and give a gift.  All without doing anything at all.

I was stuck, as has been the case a lot lately, sitting at an airport gate just waiting.  Sometimes I find work to do, but this time I just wanted to sit and watch.  Some people where hurriedly rushing about, others were taking their time, some had family and friends and others, like me, were alone.  Some were sleeping, some were being frustrated for one reason or another, others were reading or watching TV.  And some were just doing what I was doing - observing it all.  

I realized something in a memory I had.  I wondered if I viewed this activity from above if it would look like the video of the bloodstream I saw once.  A rush of activity with each pulse of the heart followed by stillness.  In that stillness there was still activity, and  in the rush of activity there was stillness.  It all seemed chaotic yet it all had beautiful purpose; an organization of creation inspired by what was necessary.  When I viewed this video, as I viewed the activity around, me I realized that each component of this activity was individual in nature yet serving a much higher purpose.  Each cell was itself, yet fulfilling a purpose it was created to fulfill.  I have no idea whether or not that cell realized what it was doing, but I realized that it had very little choice no matter how much choice it thought it had.  I must fulfill its purpose, for its purpose was being fulfilled with each passing moment.

With this, my mind shifted toward a tree.  I love trees...they embody what I see as a "microcosm of existence".  Each tree has a component that is individual in nature yet cannot survive without the others.  A branch is a branch.  A leaf is a leaf.  A trunk is a trunk.  Roots are roots.  They are individual components of the universal thing we call a "tree", each integral to the other, each necessary for the other to fulfill its purpose.  In this way, the purpose of the leaf is to give the roots an opportunity to live their purpose.  It is no different when we view anything we can see in this existence; our ecosystem is built on this premise as is our entire universe.  Everything serves everything else.  Nothing serves everything and everything serves nothing.  Light and darkness serve each other.  Both are individual, yet cannot be without the other.  It is a consistent theme in our universe.

Our greatest gift to the universe is just to be.  The cell of a tree's trunk doesn't spend its time worrying about whether or not the cells of its root are working.  They are too busy doing what they need to do.  Our red blood cells don't worry about what the white cells are doing, they are busy fulfilling their purpose.    It isn't selfishness to do what you intend to do because when you fulfill this purpose you provide a gift to others so that they may do the same.  In this way, I am not an individual, but a part of a whole.  I create so that you may create.  You are so that I may be.  Without each other we simply do not exist.

We are no different from the cells of a tree, or the cells of our own body.  We are as temporary as every cell in our bodies (most of which renew every year).  We were before we are and will be after were gone, as this existence is but a transition.  A mighty oak was once a tiny seed, it just kept on fulfilling its purpose without question and will continue to do so even after it has fallen.  We are no different, we are not separate, we are ONE.

So, as I write this on a plane I see all of the people around me.  We are individuals, but one on a plane.  I will look at the ground as we land and see the rush of activity coupled with beautiful stillness.  I will see an entire universe below me, all necessary for it all to be.  This story never ends, this story never dies, and this story never gets old.  After all, it is our purpose.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

As I...

As I talked today about all I knew, God said "listen".  As I walked  today aimless about, God said "look".

It is so easy to love the noise of ourselves so deeply that we forget to hear.  It is so easy as we head to our destination to forget to look at the marvels on our path.  Take time to be still and listen.  Take time while exploring purpose to look around you.  Not all things are said in sound, and not all destinations are found at the end of the journey. ~Tom Grasso

©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved

Deepak Chopra Asks: What's the connection between spiritual energy and sexual energy?

This question is beautiful in that it allows us to explore so many different things all in one meditation.  As an American, we can certainly see how sexual energy's connection to spirit has been removed from our culture.  We have created sexual energy as sinful in most cases, and have packed it into a neat little box full of conditions but usually devoid of instruction.  Many of us learn at a young age that what our bodies feel and desire is wrong and out of line with God's will, and the resistance to this desire is in line with the spirit.  The education itself often causes sex and spirit to be completely devoid of one another, leaving us to seek alternatives to replace the void created in the split. 

In my experience, however, sexual energy is connected to us, the human Being, in more ways than most of us realize.  Sex is part of who we are, as instinctive to us as breathing and as meaningful to us as prayer.  Depending on our recognition of its source, sexual energy can be the most rewarding of actions or the cause of great guilt and suffering.  For some, sex is an egoic function meant to temporarily satiate egoic desire, a desire that can never quite be filled in the ego's mission for more and better.  It becomes an addiction of sorts, where the identity is clouded by the need to replace a normal self-loathing with a feeling of superiority or of accomplishment.  That feeling nearly never comes or, at the very least, proves to be very fleeting.  This causes it to be repeated over and over again always with the same results.

I can only speak from my experience here.  There are no degrees of Psychotherapy hanging on my walls, no certifications for sexual therapy to say I "know".  In this experience I have found the ego's need for sexual satisfaction to be anti-climatic (no pun intended).  I have felt the great tinge of need when the ego feels threatened, the call of the voices all stating that sexual satisfaction is the way to all satisfaction or as a means to regain control when afraid.  They lie.  Or at least they lie in the context that physical sexual satisfaction alone can satisfy or provide control.  They do not.  The voices are silenced for but a moment at climax, but usually return before your pants are back on to create in your mind all that caused you to look for satisfaction in this manner in the first place.

Then comes along the Spirit.  It speaks to you in a much different way.  When you are with a lover...no not a "booty call" or a "friend with benefits"...but an actual lover, the Spirit speaks to you in ways that magnify the feeling and the moment.  The voices end, the fear fades, the need for control gives way to the need to accept.  You "listen" not to a voice inside of you, but rather to all that is inside of you.  Spirit, that which is Love Incarnate, becomes physically manifested through the action of sex.  Spirit, the Creator, creates love through the process of making love; the physical manifestation of the Spirit's desire to be Love through the conversion of sexual energy into the art of making love.  In this, spiritual energy and sexual energy become one in the same, the molting of the mind, body and soul into One Being.

This is not to say that egoic sexual energy is not of Spirit.  It is simply devoid of the recognition of Spirit in the act. The experiences I have had with egoic sex have brought forth a tremendous understanding of the act of Love.  As a result, I have found that desire and needs in the act of Love are expressions of that Love.  No fear, no guilt, no voices, just the action of converting the Love (energy) inside of me to something tangible in the physical universe.  If you wish to experience it, just open your heart and close your thoughts.

©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved

The Essence of Love In a Time of Hate

"Healing is the physical manifestation of love from the universe.  It is the nature of all things to heal, the truth of all things to love, and the essence of all things to experience what love is not in order to see all that love is." ~Tom Grasso

Storms rage and kill.  Man is killing man and nature with equal abandon.  Bullets fly and bombs drop, children are being blown to bits not for their security, but for the feeling of security that others halfway across the world will have as they board their planes, ride their trains, and gather for their entertainment.  The oceans are laden with the vestige of man's hate for his own planet, an example of human self loathing created somewhere between his quest for fire and his quest for easy forgiveness.  You see it all, you view it in totality as another polar bear dies and another glaciers shrinks in evidence of the capitulation of man to his ego, the replacement of man created in the image of God with God created in the image of man.  As you view the destruction with a tear running down your cheek and a cause in your heart you are left to ask one question.

"WHY?"

We often fail to see the beauty in things we consider "bad".  It appears that we replace our emotions with our thoughts, our feelings with our judgments.  We replace God with ego, and ignore the communication we have with God in favor of the communication we have with ego.  In this replacement, it appears we have lost contact with the Infinite Perfection because we have concentrated on communicating with the Infinite Imperfection.  When we communicate with Perfection, we see that there is no such thing as bad outside of our ego.  There is no such thing as evil outside of our imperfect need for it.  It is when we can not only understand "why" but see the purpose of the "bad", we then lose the judgment of something as "bad".  This unique state of awareness allows acceptance of all things as necessary.  We replace all things "good" and all things "bad" with all things that simply "are".

All travesties and tragedies have a purpose.  They allow the opportunity for action, for the "soul" purpose to be.  There are no tragedies greater than any other except in our minds.  There are no actions better than the others except in our own minds.  There is no healing more miraculous than any other except in our own minds.  There is no deed more splendid than any other except in our minds.  The mind is where we as God create, where the physical manifestation of Being and ego becomes what is.  The mind is the bridge between Spirit and body, between God and man, where That Which Is Risen gives That Which Gives Rise to the ability to create That Which Is.  In this dynamic, we often stop at the mind instead of going beyond it to seek what is providing the mind its purpose. 

So the answer to "why" is because all things are a matter of the necessity of experience.  All things "bad" that happen are opportunities for "good" to exist.  All things "good" that happen exist only because "bad" exists equally.  This is true in every case where either exists; one is because the other is.  Because of this certainty, neither is truly good or bad, they are equals in the light devoid of ego.

So it seems that in this physical universe we will always experience the essence of love in times of hate because that is the way it must be.  
  
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved

A Cross to Share.

We all have our "cross to bear"...something (or some THINGS) that causes us despair or suffering in our lives. Sometimes these crosses not only cause us to fall, but cause others to suffer in our failing. I find the story of Jesus failing and Simon of Cyrene yet another example of the New Testament bearing the challenges of life into prose and example, and while I am not here to debate the veracity of the story, I am certainly understanding of its place in our lives.

I can personally speak of many things in my early life that led to tremendous failing later in it. There are literally an encyclopedia of instances and times that created my cross, that which I bore for most of my life. There are probably many examples in your own life you can site as a "cross", and a few times when that cross just became too much to bear. In our weakness, we dropped the weight, fell to our knees exhausted and in utter despair. In other times, we stood weary and weak but defiant, finding our own method of dealing with the torture in our minds, our souls, our "being". Some turn to drugs, some turn to suicide, some turn to continuous and unrelenting self-destructive behavior meant on "protecting" that self from the dirt below.

I have always found it odd that in my need for self protection and in the practice of self-destructive behavior to that end I seemed to only "wet the wood" of my cross. In that, I made it much heavier than it need be, and the cross itself was only too willing to accept my offering. Stranger yet, the more I "wet" the wood, the more I sought to defy it, as if I knew more that the weight suggested I did. I can only say today that as I stare at the scars on my knees, the bruises on my shoulders and the splinters on my back that I obviously knew far less than I believed. Each scar and bruise is a lesson learned (hopefully), each splinter an example of the futility of attachment, the suffering of ego.

It was only when I could offer my cross to someone willing to bear it with me that I could see the absolute idiocy of attachment to the pain of the past. We all can site a dozen examples of pain in our past we hold on to today. I have heard from friends who have suffered so intensely, not because of the pain itself, but because of their attachment to it. They can't let go of it, and they use it as a reason or cause for any assortment of issues they have today. Still, when we pass off the lumber to someone we love, we find it utterly torturous to have them deal with the suffering our attachment to pain has caused. In some, this creates unmatched suffering and a dysfunction, to others it causes an awareness of the lunacy such attachment creates.

I can say that when I shared my cross, the suffering it created caused me to seek to shed it completely. That was the purpose of the sharing it seems, to light shed on the idiocy of holding onto it, to finally seek and end to the suffering and my attachment to it.

In our lives, we have many "soldiers" who will whip us into carrying our cross with false strength. They will continually use the "whip" of whatever power they have over use to push us forward, usually to the destination of their choosing. If we fail to reach their assigned destination, they use the power of their "whip" to complete the torture. Our cross (or our attachment to it) becomes their control over us, and we allow it because we ourselves have no identity without the cross we bear. If we also have an attachment to the soldier, we will not only carry the cross of our lives but also learn to love the whip in their hand. We see what they consider the necessary destination as our ultimate goal, that in somehow pleasing them by the sweat and blood of our brow we will find pleasure ourselves.

In this the soldier can be those we "love" or who "love" us. It can be mentors, husbands, wives, teachers, parents, siblings, or even just a best friend. The whip can be sexual in nature, or the return of love, or the idea that "forever" is more solidified. It can also be just a positive reaction, an feigned acceptance (acceptance can never be earned, it is always there). Perhaps in this metaphor we can see the relativity of this analogy in our own lives. If we can see it, we can become aware of it, and in the awareness such unhealthy darkness cannot survive.

There are times when our actions while carrying the cross cause other to suffer in our midst. Our own "Simons" bear the weight of our cross for us and in this suffer along with us. Some are pressed into service, like the guy at the bar we beat up for no real good reason, or the family we gave the finger to when the cut us off in traffic. Others volunteer (although some not knowingly) when they enter into a relationship with us. Regardless of the reason for their "assistance", they are scarred nonetheless, hampered in the shared splinters and binding bruises. It seems as if their joining in our suffering only "wets the wood", makes our cross all the heavier for their effort. We not only have to deal with the original carpenter of the cross, but now we have to deal with the guilt of putting them through pain on our behalf.

In this action and reaction, it seems perfectly acceptable for anger to be the method of reaction and guilt the continuance of the anger. In our Simons seeking change in us, they may use a variety of means to see this happen. We owe them somehow, or at the very least we find them seeking freedom from the memory. They, in turn, create their own little cross out of the splinters we leave them from ours. What seems worst, as we relinquish the control the cross has over us, it seems as if they cannot, they need to hold onto that cross as if it is the only thing between them and certain death. They become more than just our helpers, our partners, but now they become the soldiers destined to see us to THEIR destination.

I liken this event to getting water from a stone. You turn the spigot, nothing comes out, and you curse the stone. You do this for weeks and curse the stone each day for its failure. Suddenly, just as you seek to be finished with the stone, it produces a torrent. Do you still curse it? Or do you appreciate that it finally is doing as you need it to do. Sure, it took its time, but is it where you want it to be or are you where it WAS? Perhaps your lips are still cracked from thirst, but you seek to curse the stone for being a STONE...a strange occurrence at best. You seek to tie your condition to it, rather than understanding that things were as they were intended to be.

Perhaps we should just learn to love the stone for being a stone and a well for being a well. Accept them, and should the stone provide water for you love it just the same. It would seem that in keeping anger towards it for what it did yesterday, we seek to hold on to the attachment we created in our anger towards it. We create a cross that we simply do not wish to relinquish, and in that creation a bit of insanity uniquely ours. We become insane, a slave to pain and ego that will only seek to repeat itself over and over again!

At the end, perhaps we just need to love. We need to love those we are in love with today. We need to see them as they are, not as we would like them to be or how the WERE. We need to open our hearts and arms not to our vision of perfection we expect the other to be, but in an unselfish love that seeks to accept, not to pass judgments. Can we forgive? Can we live for today in a way that makes yesterday a forgotten moment and tomorrow unexpected? The answers to those questions will not just seek to create peace in our own lives, but growth to loving relationships that never fail.

Still, if we seek to "choose" we have failed in our quest already. Don't choose, just BE. Don't think, just BE. Don't talk, just DO. And best of all, don't question, just LOVE. These all happen simultaneously in acceptance and Being, and they are without effort or "work". Be still, and these will happen. Learn to find the silence that allows the noise to be. Happiness abounds from this point forward.

But a Teaspoon of the Sea

To be something - an expression of self,
That does not define the self,
But expresses the self as it is as that moment,
Is the purpose of life eternal.

Such a need is found in this Being,
A desire to express the love of this moment,
As a service to others as a service to self,
A need to be the change I wish to see.

Allow me to be such a vessel,
Calmly living this moment as it seeks to be lived,
Devoting all of self to it,
Understanding its Divine intention.

Allow me to seek the beauty in this moment,
and not to seek the charity of the next,
Find in me the eternity of Now,
In the outstretched hand that accepts its fate.

Allow me to seek such a place,
Where I am nothing more than what "I am".
I am but a teaspoon of the sea,
And to that sea I shall return.

Allow me a voice in such throes of inspiration,
To not think but live in the moment,
Find in me such freedom in cause,
That carries this tune in a such blind ecstasy.

If I but live in this moment,
I have lived nonetheless,
I have lived an eternal lifetime forever found,
In those things that don't exist at all.

For I am but a Teaspoon of the Sea,
And in this spoon I am myself,
A separate spoon are we all?
The Sea is but the place we return when the spoon is no more.

My Friend, My Gift

To see such beauty as you my friend,
Is to open a heart full of light to the world,
And to have such memories as I have in you,
Is to hold in delight what words cannot say.
To be in such a way my friend,
Is to know the meaning of good fortune,
As to have called you "my friend" at all,
Is to know the goodness of what life can offer.

I have but been lucky to hold you close,
Both in my heart and in my arms,
To comfort you in all discomfort,
To share in your unbridled joy.
To see you in such a pure light as to see nothing else.
In this there was no chore or labor at all,
It simply was and is nothing short of wondrous,
A miracle of memory I shall not easily surrender.

To see you now my friend,
After the years have passed and our youth has set us free,
I take joy in knowing you, and in seeing who you are.
I am left in sorrow for not being there all these years,
To comfort you in your discomfort,
And to share in your unbridled joy.
For to see you as I see you now is to have a cherished gift,
One I shall cherish for all the days of my life.

An ode to my wife.

Today I wish to pay homage to my wife. No, not out of some silly guilt-ridden need for something, or some quest to have her "owe" me, or even some sly plan to have her "pay out" in her own special way for my thoughts. I just wish to offer some insight as to the lucky man I am, and the impact one human being can have on another.

First, let me say that words to fully describe my feelings are impossible. True enough, my Creator has blessed me with enough gab to fill a set of encyclopedias, but in that gift I understand just how poorly a job words are at describing true and raw emotion. Perhaps it is because words are mere things, and such emotion goes so far beyond any thing in this universe as to make words so completely useless in their existence. Perhaps it is why we can best communicate such emotion without words, without a need for such things.

Also, I don't post this publicly for any "reward", except in the desire that my wife never forgets who she is in my life, and in hoping that others read this and perhaps hold their partners a bit tighter, and never take them for granted. Sometimes life gets in our way, and it never hurts to remember the power of love and what that power is capable of.

And sometimes we as humans being in this world just need to know the impact we have on others.

I view myself as one of the luckiest people alive. I have lived through hell, the kind created both by others and by my own ignorance. I have been at the bottom and seen the top. But most of all, what I value most about this experience we call "life" has been the love that has driven me beyond what I believed were my own limitations. It is such passion, such emotions, that drives the me that is in form beyond what the me that is not believes it can go. It is, frankly, not just love that makes the world go round, but is what makes the world.

I recently had the distinct pleasure to sit next to an elderly lady on a plane ride to Pittsburgh. She was old in body, but her mind and mannerisms were of youth. She was a football fan, a Steelers fan, and we went back and forth about the Steelers and the Eagles, the Steagles, and I informed her how lucky she was that it was not my team who faced hers at the Super Bowl. She informed me with similar passion that she had just been to a parade that was, of course, not in my town. It was very fun, and made the trip very quick. She told me she was widowed several years ago, and that her husband got her into football and she fell in love with it decades ago. It really made me pause to reflect.

I looked into her eyes as she spoke of going to games with her husband and saw her memory fade back to those years. I could feel the love in her description of those times, and understood that it wasn't so much the passion for the Steelers that she enjoyed, but the memory of the passion she shared with her husband that drove her. I wondered without asking if she thought about her husband while at the parade, if she thought about him during the game, and of course I knew the answer. It was simple because I could relate.

While I looked into her eyes as she spoke, I saw my wife's own eyes looking back at me. I wondered if my wife shared a similar passion of me. As I looked at this woman's hands, knarled by time and condition, I wondered what time had in store for my wife and me. Would my wife's hands reach for me through time and space? Would her eyes search for me through the distance that time would create? Would I still hold a place in her heart after years had gone by, after time had taken its toll?

I realized I simply could not answer those questions. Yet, while catching a shuttle from the airport to the hotel, I took a glimpse into my own heart to seek things as they are to me. Regardless of what the erosion of time would do to that which is my life, our life, I could certainly understand in my own being what my wife, my partner in life, meant to me.

And in those 25 minutes and in the day since I unlocked my soul and just allowed words to form. This is as mighty of a description as my limited abilities will allow, and is a simple gift I offer - a part of me to a part of you.

She is simply the hand I reach for in the night. She is simply the name I call when all words fail me. She is simply the dreams that wake me in the night. When all else becomes dust I know that I can turn and she will be there, smiling and arms outstretched. When I am bloodied and battered she will tend to my wounds. When I am vicious and mean she will be the music that comforts me. When I am loving and kind she will be the mirror that reflects all that I do. Her skin will soften my own, her words will make mine understandable, her dreams will inspire me to greatness. She is my essence, my soul, the light which protects and guides me when the darkness threatens.

These are but words, they don't scratch the surface of what this mere man feels when I am with her. My skin tenses to her touch, my eyes glisten with her art, my soul expands in her very presence. In my very human way, I am ignorant of these things in the noise of life. As all things shutter around me I forget the tear that forms when she exposes her soul to me. When the noise is loud I can no longer hear the music in her voice, I can no longer feel the tenderness of her touch, I can't see the light of her way. I become more human without her, more insatiable to the ways of life then satiated in the ways of love. I become a nothing, a thing of skin and bones and tissue and flesh, all of that that makes me more human than being.

It is then that I realize that God did not make woman for man, but rather God made man of woman. God did not make woman for the companionship of man, God made woman to complete man, to become his essence, to guide him in the darkness, to inspire him to become more. Woman, in her beautiful essence could survive easily without man, but man would be doomed without woman in his soul.

In this there are no words, nor deeds, nor gifts, nor discipline of action that could give my wife what she gives to me. This day I let her know that she is in every thought I have, she is the essence of every still moment in my life. She is the wind that powers me, and the only hand I seek to have in mine. She is the only thing I will search for even as time and condition have taken their toll on this flesh and bone and tissue and skin. My being will always search for her in the good night, my soul will always cry out for her in the noise of life, and it is those things of being that will cause those little bumps on my skin at her touch, will cause that tear to form at the view of her soul, and will cause the hairs on my neck to stand at the thought of her kiss.

I love you my wife, I love you with all of my heart and being. Neither time nor space nor circumstance of form can change these things. They are, as intended, pure and selfless. When such conditions of existence cloud our eyes and deafen our minds let's not forget the essence of what we are, of what destiny seeks to prove in our togetherness, of what love seeks to prove in the experience we share. We have what is priceless, we are wealthy beyond all comprehension not just in the love we have but in the awareness of it. In that manner I offer you my life and all that I am in simple understanding of what it all means beyond the flesh.

Finally, isn't it wonderful what one seemingly meaningless and anonymous moment in time can create? I often wonder how many of those meaningless and anonymous but priceless moments of time we squander in the noise of existence. I often ask myself, how simple would life be if we only had 4 seconds to live? How would we treat those 4 seconds? That, however, is another story...

Truth - One

It does seem that in the current of human events that one often loses sight of the truth for need of correctness. Do we entangle our selves so strongly to the subject of thought that we cannot reach for the ideals of truth?

It would seem as if we have lost our way in the myriad of conquests offered to be right, not honest. To such endeavors we persecute the greatest aspect of our Being, the way to Truth, the part of us that seeks not praise or profit for just Being "true". To share such a breeze of honesty onto the fires of our lives may see the embers burning brighter, blazing a scene of righteousness into the tapestry of our souls. Be such honesty, hold that which is true close to your heart, and offer that which is found there to all who surround you.

Study the things you now value, seek in them that which shall cause suffering and weed them out like ivy in a pumpkin patch. Learn about your self, in that there can be no greater truth, and in the study do not leave a single page unturned. Strive in isolation to know that same self, to seek in it the sturdiness of the individual, the calmness of Being, the wisdom of the ages. Be strong, be brave and be wise my friend, and in this you shall find the end of suffering, the extinction of need, and the foundation for which life itself was created on.

What is better than the dawn?

I awoke after a restless night, my head pounding as if there were a million feet dancing from within. The sun was aglow having already risen to the brand new day and I had but no chance to welcome it. It was rare that I had not at least seen the break of dawn, either through a window or in person, and had not the opportunity to relish in the crisp silence of a morning pause. Today was different, it had beaten me to the wake, and crisply reminded me that in being human I am so much the lesser to the perfection of nature.

Yet through this morning's silent scourge I had but to turn my head to see its cure. There she lie, silently in her morning frown, yet the more beautiful then when my eyes shut last. She is admittedly not a "morning person", yet to me she is the very sight of beauty as she sleeps each morn. Such peace of the natural beauty that emanates from her can only be seen in the innocence of sleep. No worries to pinch her eyebrows, no children to harry her, no husband to aggravate her, she is the essence of beauty, the calmness of peace, the hope I feel each morning as I give thanks to see this dawn once again.

Parting from her is difficult although the bed is not my friend in the morning. Today is different, as the pain in my head beckons me back to the sheets. Yet I still rise, for the day's pressing adventures must unfold as they are intended. I cannot help but to look once more at the woman who so much gives of herself. I pause to guess at what her day will be like, probably somewhat typical in the challenges of raise children, keeping house, and dealing with the day's adventures and misadventures. Typical I say, knowing quite well that there is nothing typical about them except in the challenges themselves. I tend to play them off in her presence, yet I admire her honestly and truthfully for how she handles them with such grace that makes me question my own strength. I certainly do not have her fortitude.

I fight the urge to caress her; I dare not disturb this placid pond. Somehow it is moments like this that one can forget his own sufferings. Often when welcoming the morning in its stillness I ask myself "What is better than the dawn." Well, today I have my answer, for the dawn but promises a day anew, the beauty that lies in bed next to me promises that day has hope, love, and purpose. Those gifts are few, but they are offered each day we awake and take the time to feel the love in the peaceful stillness of the morning, to see that which the light of the dawn does show, and wait to feel a loving hand grace our own with the tenderness such love can provide.

Surely without her the dawn would come each day. Surely without her the birds would sing aloud, the bunnies would bask in the warmth of the sun, and the mountain streams would sparkle such light in return. Yet to me it is clear that without her the light would not have the same purpose that it does this morning. Today, the sun but warms my skin, while she warms my Being, my soul, and my heart completely. Today, the sun but promises a new day, she fills that day with promise. To this end she is my answer to "What is better than the dawn?"

This day will surely end, and that light will fade away,
And while it's days that fills our lives, it's love that fills our day.

To what does this journey begin?

This morning before I left for a meeting in upstate New York, I had some time to enjoy nature and seek its wisdom. One can always find solace and wisdom among the things of God, and as you become centered in this place you find God within you. Times like this help bring clarity, peace and perception back to Being, and help shed light on the insanity of unconsciousness that claims the soul regularly.

As the bright red sun peeked through clouds slightly above the distant horizon, I had the opportunity to feel the presence of God in the stillness. I just sat there, enjoying the very slight breeze in my face, the warmth on my skin, and the feeling of connectivity that this stillness offers. It is in moments like this that Being is confirmed, life's promise renewed, and focus brought back on to purpose rather than pursuit.

I love the sunrise, it is hard to find a more still and quite time on Earth. It is so still, so quiet, that yes, the break of dawn is a sound deafening to the soul.

I watched the birds fly and listened intently not only to the songs they offered but the silence that allowed them to be. I wondered what those birds thought of us as they circled high above in all areas of our home. I wondered if they could even relate to our insanity, to our reluctance of purpose in pursuit of things, and I realized at that point that the bird is surely smarter in most moments than we are.

I felt the asphalt turn to grass (I walk barefoot regularly), and wondered if grass could think how it would judge those of us who walked upon it. I wondered if the soles of our shoes protected the grass more than we believe they protect us. I came to realize that in its not being able to judge us as anything, the grass was truly more aware of its purpose than we are of ours.

I came to rest upon a large tree, one of several that I saw as I made my way through the mountains of upstate New York. I noticed how the leaves pointed toward the sun, partially curled by the dryness of the ground where it was destined to set its roots. I realized that the tree never asks for more than it needs, nor uses more than God gives it, and yet this tree will most likely outlive me and possibly my children. It bears no signs of stress in its thirst, no signs of frustration at not having a more beautiful place on which to rest, and yet there it is as strong as intended serving a purpose not beyond itself.

It was quite evident at that moment that we are all connected to these Beings, to the birds, to the grass, to the trees, to all life enjoying its unique existence on this home. I was reminded of an old native American saying, "there is no tree so foolish as to have its branches fighting among themselves." A tree is so aware of its purpose that it serves that intelligence without the struggle of things that don't run in line with that purpose. It has a time to sprout, a time to grow, and a time to die. In the short time between its birth and death, it [I]serves[/I] a purpose, perhaps invisible to most things of thought, but there nonetheless.

All beings in this universe serve the same purpose. And what separates humans on this planet from all other beings is the diversion from purpose to pursuit, from intelligence to stupidity, from awareness to unconsciousness. And while you may be judging me and this prose, a vast world of possibilities escapes your grasp in the moment you waste not seeking purpose inside your soul.

To find your purpose, just stop thinking about it. What inspires you? What does your Being do [I]when you do not think[/I] about being? When you are no longer seeking you can only hope but to find. When you are no longer thinking you can only be in stillness. When you are in stillness you can feel the presence of God.

In the very near future, a great change will take place on this earth. Out of the fire will rise a new Earth and a new Spirituality. The meek shall inherit the Earth, and war and violence will cease to exist. We will endure great suffering, and some will see the end to their existence while others will see a change in theirs. People will no longer seek a collective identity, or any identity, nor will they judge others. They will be as the grass, the tree, and the bird, serving an intelligence far greater than their own, in a way that offers light to all. The journey begins the day you become aware of that which makes you blind.

"Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find..."

Peace.

Now

Light and dismal, this thread that binds
Us all to all things that matter so much,
That the endless noise of those insane minds
Have taken the place of the simple touch.

It is now odd to love as it is the norm,
To seek out more the more we seek,
For the form of love is now the love of form,
and the less we know the more we speak.

We look to tomorrow in the hope we find,
That which is touching us so presently,
For in this conversation of the mind,
It is the ego that speaks so obnoxiously.

Do not rush to feel the hope that's passed,
Nor seek to see that which may never come,
Just love the love in the Now so vast,
And worry not about what shall Now become.

Presence in nature - One

To be within nature, that which spawned us all into this existence we know as "human", that which gave life to this world, that IS life in this world, now that is to find Heaven on Earth as surely as it is to find stars in the universe. To see the nature man has since forgotten, that vestige of life he once called his "Mother", to feel the offering of such on my skin, the coolness of it all on my being, to be present in nature is to be in the midst of God itself.

To walk among these things is to realize that nature honors us much more than we honor it. It provides for us, sees to our sanity, provides us entertainment, and gives us that unique understanding of the I before the things of form cloud the self. We attempt to harness its power, to control its might, and pretend so arrogantly that we are in some kind of control, yet more often than not nature can end our arrogance with but a shrug of itself. We are truly but a flea on nature, an obscure parasite that is here at its behest, and can leave much the same. We cannot and are not in control of our destiny, and the sooner we end our arrogance that somehow we are the dominant in this relationship the sooner we will be at peace with all that is.

We would end the life of a natural thing without pause, as if somehow it is less than us. This is because we fail to see that what makes that living being what it is is the same that makes us what we are. It is not in the intellect of the being that offers its superiority, nor is it in strength of form, nor can it be found in cause or purpose; for nothing in nature is superior to another, all things serve a purpose united in the moment it exists that cannot be altered except by unconsciousness. It can even be said that things altered in unconsciousness serve a purpose, either to awake that which is unconscious or to offer a step toward that purpose. Still, man seems to be the only being in nature who is not aware of its purpose.

In proof of purpose, I offer you a bird I observed this afternoon. Some might say a bird's purpose is to have offspring, to continue its species. Others might say that the bird's purpose is to live and die. I, however, observed this golden finch's purpose as it was singing. It was quite obvious that that bird's purpose was to sing. It gave no thought to nest building at that moment. It gave no thought to laying an egg, or hatching a chick; no - its only thought was of singing. It seemed to give all of its energy and commitment to the song. What a beautiful song it was, for the finch gave itself completely to the song without a moment's concern of what was to happen or what was to be, all things at that moment was as it must be..

I heard a story once about a dog understanding purpose and presence better than any man. If you walk into a room, a dog reacts with love and affection galore. Leave and walk back in five minutes later, the dog reacts the same. Why? Because it cares little for the past and nothing of the future, it just knows what is at the present moment. The second part of the dog metaphor has to do with reaction and the past. If you beat a dog, really abuse it, and 10 years later walk into a room with the dog, it very likely will bite you. The difference between man in his unawareness (lack of presence) and the dog is that the dog didn't spend those 10 years thinking about biting you. He went about his life being a dog, until that very moment when he saw you again. That dog also probably didn't react afterward either.

Yet as humans we carry around a bunch of excess baggage. We hold grudges, struggle with the insanity of our lives, and often suffer mightily because of it. We listen repetitively to the noise of thought in our head, choosing the insanity of thought over the sanity of presence. We fear that which we cannot understand, even personifying our Creator as if it were a man so that we could understand it better. We look outwardly for a savior, a man who will give us salvation because we cannot understand that in our making we have salvation inwardly - inside us all.

We have lost our individuality, our ability to work things out ourselves. We strive to interfere. We must save each of us from ourselves, passing laws that serve a purpose of futility. Seat belt laws are a great example. We have to interfere so much that we make it unlawful NOT to wear a seat belt while driving! This lack of awareness does not take into consideration that all things will be as they must be, whether or not the seat belt is worn! Nothing that is to happen can be stopped, no matter what law we pass in another arrogant attempt to enforce our will over that which will be.

"I do not stive to be unlike,
Any other that God has made,
Yet to be untrue to the least of you,
Will surely see me fade."

When we are no longer in tune with nature, or understand that all things happen as they must, then we are doomed to fail as a human experiment. Since in can be readily assured that we are not human beings seeking a spiritual existence but rather are spiritual beings enjoying a human experience, we must surely find ourselves in tune with that which binds us to our Source. Otherwise, we cease to be relevant in that existence, and when we come to be so out of tune with our purpose as to no longer matter, we will cease to exist on this plane. To use a modern NFL metaphor, it would be like seeing 150-pound offensive lineman and 350-pound wide receivers on the field, all wearing ballet slippers. It just doesn't fit. Since we are spiritual beings enjoying a uniquely human experience, once we cease to behave in line with spiritual beings we cease to exist in the manner we no longer have a relevancy necessary to exist. We cease to be who we are, so we cease to be.

Presence acts like a capacitor on a circuit board (assuming I remember electronics at all). It (presence) gates down the ego so that we perform in purpose. Once that capacitor blows, and the current (ego) flows unchecked, the power is too great and the board destroys itself. We are in the midst of a capacitor who is about to fail, so either we can fix it and move peacefully in purpose or it will fail at the result will be catastrophic.

This does not serve as a threat, or even a warning, as I am ready for whatever each moment has in store for me. As indicated in the Book of Revelations, a "new earth" will arise along with a "new heaven", showing that after the failure of the capacitor the new board will be created. In this new "board", the new Earth will share with a new heaven a state of peace; the new "heaven being spirituality and awareness, with the "new" earth being the purpose of all who are alive to share in the awareness.